- "I am not lovable as I am."
- "I can only get affection or care by seducing others into relationship through meeting their needs and being the person they want me to be."
- "If I express my real feelings, desires and needs (the core attributes of my real, unlovable self), I will be rejected or humiliated."
- "I don't have as many needs as other people have."
- "Not having many needs myself, it's easier to sacrifice my own needs in the service of meeting other people's needs (and making them happy) than to assert any needs or desires."
- "Conflict produces bad feelings and disapproval and risks damaging relationships, so it should be avoided."
- "I know how to make people like me. My ability to make people like ensures my survival and well being."
- "Most people like happy people who flatter them and meet their needs."
- "Most people don't like needy people who cause trouble or create conflict by expressing negativity, strong feelings or opinions."
- "When you give to others, they are obligated to give back to you."