(4): My ideal self... A distance runner who follows a regime and has the potential to run an ultramarathon (at least 50K) before she turns 25. Someone who knows exactly what career they want to have and is terribly ambitious. Someone with a lot of friends, one of those people that get stopped at least twice every time they go down the street by people they know. Someone charming and warm. Someone who comes off as carefree but has their shit together too. Someone with a distinct personal style, très chic. Someone with a very unique and attractive physical appearance (classic Japanese features, tanned skin, elegantly styled dark hair, waifish figure, runner's legs). Someone who can be seductive but still be taken seriously. Someone who always seems to be the center of attention but who can promote their friends and never tries too hard.
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut
I have so many alternative lives, it is hard to keep up.
I feel like my ideal self would really be a spiced up version of me rather than somebody completely different. I imagine myself transformed into somebody physically strong, socially confident, and a very successful pianist and composer. I would also like to have certain superpowers, such as telekinesis and invisibility.
4, my ideal self: An artist, creative and original person who inspires others with her work, but is humble, quiet and shy. A perfectionist who follows rules, has perfect self-control and does everything to achieve her goals, works hard and never gives up. An artist who is not only talented, but also mysterious, hard to get to know and has a dark twist. Always knows when the right time to do things, extremely individualistic and very expressive sense of fashion and style. Always does the good work, just to satisfy everyone. Physically very skinny and pale, with outgeorgeus dark almost gothic like look.
I want to reach all of my potential and experience beautiful and meaningful things. I want depth of understanding in life and depth of connection with others (or at least one other). I want spirituality, a connection to God, and the insight and gracefulness that comes with it. I'd like some charisma, magnetism, to be liked and to captivate.
But I also want elegance and luxury and novelty and the exotic. I want to stay thin and never wrinkle .
When younger, I wanted a bohemian lifestyle, and I still want that autonomy, flexibility and exploration, but I put a higher value on more noble pursuits, especially moral and spiritual things.
I want to be inspired and motivated all the time. I want a beautiful, brilliant lover that I respect and adore. I want to be adored and admired and loved and respected for being me. I want mutual support and cultivation of profound intimacy (in every area).
I suppose I see my potential as being a creative, intelligent, empathetic, insightful, spiritual person. I want avenues and contexts which allow me to cultivate those qualities. Ideally I'd have brilliance and talent and drive in at least one of those areas, if not all of them. I'd like to explore and do well in many creative mediums - visual art, writing, poetry, philosophy, music, etc.
I have too many fantasies, so Im speaking in terms of theme here, rather than specifics. Some specifics may be traveling all over and being semi-nomadic, a fantastic closet reflecting my individual style, an extensive library, an atrium or indoor or rooftop/balcony garden of sorts, and to be a published poet and/or fine artist with a gallery (I'm over this commercial art crap). These are really just decorative stuff, because my desires center more around finding love, cultivating spirituality, increasing understanding, expressing creatively and creating and finding beauty and meaning. Great clothes are just a nice package .
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure
To grasp fear in my fingers, watch it writhe, wriggle and try to get away. But to not let it and to also not kill it; I want to hear it's side of perspective and understand that power of influence. And I want to make friends with it.
"An upsidedown wire heart
Being sucked into a periscope
Still the mind is dull
Like you need another excuse"
… a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
.. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
domain in which it is clear and adequate…. - David Bohm
From reading this thread, it seems most of you just want to be a 5 or an 8.
Well, I would certainly like to be more "8-like". Many 4s are, especially the sx-doms and those well-integrated, but as far as I know, I am a ways from being that sort of 4.
Ideally, I want to excel in my one chosen creative field to the point that hard-to-reach options to take it further would open up. I want my work to help people understand each other and make them face the sides of themselves that they're afraid to own up to. But also, I want to deliver through it the message that I like people after all despite the quiet shell, and I want to play with them. I would not just be understood, but others would want to come inside without may having to compromise myself for them first. I would never again have to sit on an idea alone or be hungry for intellectual bonding. Maybe I'd meet someone this way who I would become more intimate with - romance used to be a central part of these visions, but it isn't anymore. But it would be lovely.
I want a strong body and a resilient psyche. I want to be brave, someone who stands up for others and what's good, not a bystander. I want to know a variety of practical skills and be able to survive in many difficult situations, but also to be knowledgeable, intelligent and focused. I want to be fearlessly productive and efficient.
I want my unhealthy past to be overshadowed by what I become and my self-concept to be washed of that as cleanly as possible by new accomplishments. I want a few to regret how they underestimated me.
I don't want to be constrained in aesthetic expression or in exploration by impersonal resource limits. If I'm curious about something, I want to be able to just go try it.
I don't want to age. I don't want disease, otherwise known as the body's random and oh-so-inconsiderate infringement on my expressive capacities.
Why did I even post? I hate admitting that I want more.
4w5 6w7 1w2 sx/sp ⏩ ISFP
RLOAX (don't do it) ⏩ Melancholic Hufflepuff
A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung