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  1. #1
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Default Seeking Perfection in Dating + Attracton

    Hey all, I'm posting this topic/question on the behalf of a good 1w2 friend of mine. Long story short, she's been dating a lot in the past year after the end of a very long relationship, and has realized a pattern of nitpicking her dates, and now a guy she actually really likes.

    She put it in terms of attraction, that she can't stay attracted to people very easily-- they always disgust or annoy her at some point.

    1's: Have you experienced this? If so, what advice might you give my friend (based on your knowledge of the Enneagram and yourself) about this topic. @EJCC @Hard @fidelia @SD45T-2 @Magic Poriferan

    Further detail of her type, if it matters: 1w2, (Tritype includes 6w7, 3w2), So + Sx (not sure which dominates).

    Thanks!
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  2. #2
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Default

    I suppose she begins by idealizing the guy, but after a while the guy can't manage to live up to the high standards that she set.

    Dating works when we accept that people are flawed & aim to find a person whose flaws are bearable.

  3. #3
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Hey all, I'm posting this topic/question on the behalf of a good 1w2 friend of mine. Long story short, she's been dating a lot in the past year after the end of a very long relationship, and has realized a pattern of nitpicking her dates, and now a guy she actually really likes.

    She put it in terms of attraction, that she can't stay attracted to people very easily-- they always disgust or annoy her at some point.
    This is the first thing that came to mind: Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual: Dennis Prager: 9780060987350: Amazon.com: Books

    I'm pretty sure Prager is an ENTJ 1w2. He has been described as the Jewish C. S. Lewis. In one chapter he describes the way he dated when he was young and how he was on a sort of quest to figure out the most important quality in a potential mate. After one date he was talking to a friend and said he thought he had finally figured it out. Before he could say it, his friend interrupted and said he knew what what Dennis was about to say: it's the quality his dated lacked. Prager thought for a moment and realized his friend was right. He refers to this as "missing tile syndrome."
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

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