When I first joined this forum, I had typed myself as a 9w1 and my ENTJ boyfriend as a 3w4. However, there were some major contradictions that these types provided that always kind of tugged at me. Namely, the laid-back, worry-free attitude of 9w1 didn't quite mirror my semi-conservative (for an INFP) outlook or my generalized anxiety and tendency to plan ahead in order to reassure myself. It also didn't explain my natural ambition and tendency towards workaholism. I look a lot more like a 9 in college, but that may be because I am 1) integrating and 2) attending a top 5 University where everyone is essentially a Type 1 or a Type 3. Compared to my 1w2 roommate, I definitely looked (and felt) like a 9. However, after careful consideration, it turned out that I was a 6w7 instead.
As for my 3w4 ENTJ boyfriend, it didn't quite fit because Type 3 seems to suggest that the person is adaptable, whereas my bf is very...unadaptable. He is always stable, has a ton of integrity, never lies, and deceit isn't a part of his personality at all. Reading the suggestions of a few other members led me to the conclusion that he is a 1w9 so/sp, which seems to fit a lot better, and also explains why I thought he was an INTJ for so long instead of an ENTJ (even though he is extremely sociable and always seeks people out, and hates being alone).
Now to get to the main question: is it typical for type 6s to always feel a little unsure of their relationships, and begin to look towards what they're "missing"? I ask because sometimes I get annoyed with the rigidity of my ENTJ. I begin imagine myself in a relationship with a goofy 7 (even though my ex was a 7 and I got WAYYY more annoyed at him and his personality than I ever get with my 1), and I do this because I perceive a small problem or flaw (perceiving him as "too poised" and formal) and start to obsess over it, thinking "I need to end this right now!" But after a while, the problem disappears in my mind as a problem. Nothing has changed, just my perspective on it. And I can't help but wonder then...is it really a problem since I spent a large amount of energy worrying about it (and probably will worry again in the future), or is it just my anxiety?
Mind you, my relationship with him is extremely healthy. He is my first love, and I am his. We are big on communication, so anything that bothers me is aired out and resolved. I like his "Let's solve this" attitude towards potential problems, and he reassures me when I need reassurance. He is stable and keeps me from floating away, and he always makes sure we don't sleep before resolving an issue, even if it is 4 AM and he has to wake up in a few hours for work. He is dependable, always does the right thing, and we complement each other in beautiful ways. We have the potential to be an unstoppable team. But I am wondering how to figure out if the things that bother me are really problems or 6ish problems.