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  1. #1
    Member Turtle's Avatar
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    Default Main differences between 9s and 6w7s (particularly so/sx)?

    Sometimes I feel that type 9w1 and type 6w7 so/sx are the same exact thing. Both are indecisive, both are optimistic, both are focused on making others comfortable and putting others first. I have been back and forth between these two types for ages. I am wondering if there are any real life examples I can point to, too.

  2. #2
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    ah...

    I don't know either.
    You are so arbitrary.

  3. #3
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Um, where to start

    Everything?

    Some some main areas that show the differences imo...

    Trust v doubt: 6s want to be trusted by others yet find it incredibly difficult to trust in return, there's an element of always being on guard for the rug to be pulled out from underneath them so they buffer themselves, the saying "if you want something done right, do it yourself" fits. 9s on the other hand trust easily, it may not be real trust, instead it can be a form of arcadia, however there is this ability to always see the good in people.

    'Realist' v optimistic: One expects things to work out right in the end and can gloss over the troubles when they come up, the other understands that things can go wrong at any time and is hyper vigilant to contingency plan so they are safe.

    Head v gut: I don't think 6s find it easy, if at all possible, to get out of their heads and shut off their thoughts, 9s do, we zone out too easily and operate on 'automatic', this is separate from being intellectual or a thinker. A 9 in touch with themselves can be very centred in their body, ofc 9s are the gut type who can be most in their body and most out of touch with it, and the same with 6s with head.

    Contingency planning V going with the flow
    Under stress more reactive and aggressive V more unresponsive and passive
    Needing to see everything bad V prone to ignoring the bad
    Alert/awake to environment V zoning out
    Dislikes uncertainty V is uncertain
    Need for security V need for stability
    Suspicious of motivations V presumes good motivations

    There are similarities ofc, both can over explain as they don't want to be misunderstood and both seek their independence and a bunch of other things, but the instinct stack doesn't make them similar from my perspective as a 9 with the wrong wing who is So/Sx.


    Examples. No guarantees they are correct, I don't know the men, and I personally think the above is more telling, but you asked.

    Tom Hanks a possible 6w7 So/Sx




    Tim Robbins a possible 9w1 So/Sx


  4. #4
    I want my account deleted
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Um, where to start

    Everything?

    Some some main areas that show the differences imo...

    Trust v doubt: 6s want to be trusted by others yet find it incredibly difficult to trust in return, there's an element of always being on guard for the rug to be pulled out from underneath them so they buffer themselves, the saying "if you want something done right, do it yourself" fits. 9s on the other hand trust easily, it may not be real trust, instead it can be a form of arcadia, however there is this ability to always see the good in people.

    'Realist' v optimistic: One expects things to work out right in the end and can gloss over the troubles when they come up, the understands that things can go wrong at any time and is hyper vigilant to contingency plan so they are safe.

    Head v gut: I don't think 6s find it easy, if at all possible, to get out of their heads and shut off their thoughts, 9s do, we zone out too easily and operate on 'automatic', this is separate from being intellectual or a thinker. A 9 in touch with themselves can be very centred in their body, ofc 9s are the gut type who can be most in their body and most out of touch with it, and the same with 6s with head.

    Contingency planning V going with the flow
    Under stress more reactive and aggressive V more unresponsive and passive
    Needing to see everything bad V prone to ignoring the bad
    Alert/awake to environment V zoning out
    Dislikes uncertainty V is uncertain
    Need for security V need for stability
    Suspicious of motivations V presumes good motivations

    There are similarities ofc, both can over explain as they don't want to be misunderstood and both seek their independence and a bunch of other things, but the instinct stack doesn't make them similar from my perspective as a 9 with the wrong wing who is So/Sx.
    You know, all of this is extremely accurate for the differences between 6w5 me and my 9w8 gf. Unknown stackings. I don't know about the specific wings and stackings under scrutiny in this thread but this description is extremely good at laying out the enneagram differences out as they show up in my household. Nice.

  5. #5
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    @skylights would probably be helpful since she's an NFP 6w7 so/sx with a 9w1 bestie iirc.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #6
    Member Turtle's Avatar
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    Aww man, I am starting to wonder if I am actually a 6 instead of a 9. Though I might be a 6w5 instead of a 6w7, especially since I score pretty high on 5 and my lowest score is always 7 or 8. However, I am so/sx for sure.

  7. #7
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    From what I've noticed our anxiety levels greatly differ. The 6's I live with tend to very often vocalize worse case scenarios whereas I tend to not have those sorts of things on the brain at all. They're both moving towards 3 because they're both pretty unhealthy so they tend to show some very paranoid behavior IMO. Although I guess it's not completely unjustified to be a little wary especially after the sorts of things they've been through.

    It sort of seems to me like they're anxious about life in general. In turn I feel as if they see me as overly relaxed/unhurried and unrealistic about life in general.

    As I said they're unhealthy so I'd take this with a grain of salt as their anxiety may be so apparent due to their health levels.

  8. #8
    Member Turtle's Avatar
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    Personally, I feel like I'm right smack dab in the middle. As a child, I had crippling social anxiety. Nowadays, if I am in a happy mood, I can chat with just about anyone. I only feel uncomfortable in social situations if I've been "introverted" for a long period of time in my room and am going out into the open. I am also pretty 9ish in that I always "turn into" whoever I'm talking to. I don't even realize that I am doing this. It isn't that I am agreeing with them (and I'm not afraid to state my opinion if I have a strong one that I can defend), I just feel like I become them. As a result, I have to be careful who I interact with.

    I have anxiety about almost everything, and the troubleshooting metaphor used to describe E6 describes me pretty well. I am always doubting myself and my romantic relationships. If someone says something that contradicts what I said, I will try their opinion on in my head and imagine what it would be like if it were true, which usually results in me adopting the opinion. I could probably convince myself that I was any type on the Enneagram, with the exception of 8 or 7.

    Some of this is difficult to decipher what can be attributed to my so/sx instinctual stacking or me being INFP. One thing is for sure, though: dating an ENTJ with a 316 tritype has been helpful, because although he has a competitive image-conscious nature, he is consistent, reliable, and does exactly what he says he will do. He is also loyal and doesn't lie. He has had girls come up and kiss him (while he was drunk) and he didn't reciprocate. This is particularly helpful, as my main fear is infidelity -- my mom cheated on my dad for years and destroyed our family as a result of it. I was also cheated on emotionally many times by my 7sx ex, who seemed to fall in love at the drop of a hat. I hate reading about 6 and 3 incompatibility issues because I am easily swayed by opinions over the Internet if I turn off the part of me that tries to think for myself, but I also feel that the reasons why 6 and 3 fail have more to do with the level of fakeness in the 3 (which is something I don't really see in my more 1ish than 3ish ENTJ).

  9. #9
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle View Post
    Personally, I feel like I'm right smack dab in the middle. As a child, I had crippling social anxiety. Nowadays, if I am in a happy mood, I can chat with just about anyone. I only feel uncomfortable in social situations if I've been "introverted" for a long period of time in my room and am going out into the open. I am also pretty 9ish in that I always "turn into" whoever I'm talking to. I don't even realize that I am doing this. It isn't that I am agreeing with them (and I'm not afraid to state my opinion if I have a strong one that I can defend), I just feel like I become them. As a result, I have to be careful who I interact with.

    I have anxiety about almost everything, and the troubleshooting metaphor used to describe E6 describes me pretty well. I am always doubting myself and my romantic relationships. If someone says something that contradicts what I said, I will try their opinion on in my head and imagine what it would be like if it were true, which usually results in me adopting the opinion. I could probably convince myself that I was any type on the Enneagram, with the exception of 8 or 7.

    Some of this is difficult to decipher what can be attributed to my so/sx instinctual stacking or me being INFP. One thing is for sure, though: dating an ENTJ with a 316 tritype has been helpful, because although he has a competitive image-conscious nature, he is consistent, reliable, and does exactly what he says he will do. He is also loyal and doesn't lie. He has had girls come up and kiss him (while he was drunk) and he didn't reciprocate. This is particularly helpful, as my main fear is infidelity -- my mom cheated on my dad for years and destroyed our family as a result of it. I was also cheated on emotionally many times by my 7sx ex, who seemed to fall in love at the drop of a hat. I hate reading about 6 and 3 incompatibility issues because I am easily swayed by opinions over the Internet if I turn off the part of me that tries to think for myself, but I also feel that the reasons why 6 and 3 fail have more to do with the level of fakeness in the 3 (which is something I don't really see in my more 1ish than 3ish ENTJ).
    You sound a lot like a 6. My girlfriend does a lot of what you have said you do, actually (she's a 6, but a 6w7 sx/so ENFP, and is counterphobic).

    She is always paranoid to the point where I have to work to actually get her to focus on what's going on presently sometimes. She will adopt opinions like you have, until it doesn't go well and then she seeks out her actual, own opinion. She is constantly doubting not only herself, but literally everything, even things that are tried and true to her.

    Also I think that the bolded describes 3-6-9 in general, but it manifests differently I think. I generally don't watch who I interact with at all, but I think I'm somewhat less affected by who I'm around than my GF, but it's definitely still happening. The fact that you get worried about who you interact with, again, implies 6.

    Some differences in me and my GF are-

    -I always go with the flow and deal with stuff as it comes up, which I excel at and it has always gotten me where I need to go. She is always worried about stuff and going with the flow is like another language to her. She often gets so worried that she won't do anything at all, or just the opposite, she will violently and explosively react to things totally unwarranted (because it's solely in her head, her thoughts).

    -She is incredibly detail oriented, even as an ENFP. Although she forgets about a lot of the details, so she goes through the same mental processes over and over again because she forgot that she has already processed the information. Things have a tendency to "fester" in her mind, where if something doesn't happen around something she's worried about, her obsessive thoughts over that thing will evolve it into something completely different in her mind than what's in reality, and assume the worst about people and things as a result. Which causes really, really bad stuff to happen generally. I am not like this at all, and I find it strange to constantly be worrying yourself over seemingly menial things, when you could be out doing something about the things that are bothering you.

    -I never really plan ahead, unless it's something tangible that I know will happen. Which in that case it doesn't take long to figure out what I'll do when the imminent arises. I never assume plans will change. She is always under the assumption people and plans will change for no reason, and then makes plans for when those plans don't go wrong. She is always planning ahead in this way. Kinda like what @Kasper said, it's a contingency planning obsession. While in my experience, 99% of the time nothing ever changes, and my perception is correct. I can literally only thing of one time where one of her contingency plans was necessary. And even then I still feel that it's a useless habit, because it took be approximately 0.5 seconds to adapt to the situation. (Maybe that's the Se though?)

    -She always assumes people are out to get her, but it's unconscious. I size people up based on things I've observed, and things that would logically occur as a result of things that they've done. I never assume people are out to get me. In this world everyone is out for themselves, why would anyone give a shit about you. You're a person that they may never see ever again. That's my thoughts on it anyway.

    -The only time I have any anxiety at all is when something tangible is occurring that I can't do anything about until a later time, or if I don't have any control over it. She gets anxious over everything, sometimes even stuff that has nothing to do with her or that has happened before (that's a big one, huge anxiety about the past, that may be inferior Si talking though). I have to calm her down a lot because a lot of the stuff a 6 thinks about is simply absurd in my mind, and could never possibly happen.

    I can continue if anyone has any questions... but I think the differences are pretty clear. I think that sometimes the social attitudes of a 9 and a 6 could be similar, in that we are both "buddy" types to be around, and go along with what others want unconsciously. On the surface sometimes the two types may appear somewhat similar. But once you step into even the acquaintance zone, the differences in the two individuals will be glaringly obvious.

    Not to pry, @Turtle, but are you sure your BF is a 3? I hate to question others, but from what you've said maybe he's a type 1? With the typical 1 stuff softened by the so/sp stacking, and may not have as much of an intensity about "enforcing" due to lack of sx. Just a thought. You obviously know him more than I.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #10
    Member Turtle's Avatar
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    @BlackCat, that was an extremely helpful post. I think that you solidified me being a 6w5, because I relate to your GF in almost every instance you provided. I think that 9w1 can seem more appealing to an NFP when most type 6 descriptions have a distinct STJ flavor. However, I have often battled between INFP and INFJ as my MBTI type (despite relating 100% to the NFP functions over the NFJ functions), and I think that this has more to do with me being a type 6. For example, I often read that perceivers like "going with the flow" and wandering around without a goal in mind, whereas this makes me feel uncomfortable. I am also not very spontaneous at all and love planning for myself, whether contingency or otherwise.

    As for my ENTJ being a type 1...I mean, I tend to consider it from time to time. I had him take the test once and he scored Type 1, though I showed him the Type 3 description (his second or third highest) and he said he related to that one more. Though he is less personable and expressive due to his sx-last, his primary motivation has always been to acquire a high degree of success, and failure is a fear that governs his actions. Though he is honest and steady, I wouldn't say that he is particularly morally inclined. He would be willing to sacrifice his principles for being the best. He is certainly not untrustworthy, but he is definitely in it for himself (and anyone else who happens to be on his team, which includes me).

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