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Thread: Sevens in Love

  1. #1
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    Default Sevens in Love

    Armando Molina on 7s in love, from Our Ways.

    Have at it, @Chanaynay.

    7SE characters live absorbed in their own expectations and enthused by a thousand exciting activities, and they want to do what they like just as much in company as when alone. Their extrinsic multipolar focus and typical fear of concentrating on a single course of action ... induce them to keep all their options open ... They like to meet many charming persons rather than achieve stability with one who, no matter how marvelous, may end up boring them; they desire to lead exciting adventures in which neither of the two becomes dependent.

    More sensual than sexual or passionate, they enter into romantic relationships seeking to share and enjoy what each of the two has of the extraordinary; but they limit their commitment and avoid binding themselves. They tend to have sundry relations during their lives, always searching for self-sufficient lovers who complement their own interests and enthusiasms ... and who can enjoy [the world] with them without imposing restrictions ... If that is not possible, they prefer a friendship, well-defined to provide contact enough to sustain interest, but not so much of it to produce boredom or become stifling. The manner of relating is exciting and allows them to avoid having to discuss the unpleasant aspects of life.

    Their fear of commitment often clothes itself in irrational fantasies, like feeling locked in a jail or hospital where the lack of freedom is complete; but once in love and committed, they are able to work hard to build a common future, which they are sure will be splendid. Meanwhile, they do not want either of the two to miss a single one of the many social, intellectual and aesthetic possibilities the world presents. Engaging in so many activities tends not to leave enough time for cultivating an authentic intimacy. They superficialize romantic relationships into doing things together and talking about interesting subjects; if a problem arises, they pack their agendas so no time exists to talk about it ...

    They need a lover to support their self-esteem ... but they feel a tremendous need for independence ... If a lover attempts to control or manipulate them, they discover it instantly and revel by withdrawing and becoming evasive or by distracting the other's attention, but rarely by confronting ...

    Flirty, they enjoy exerting their seductiveness because it confirms they are still sexually attractive. They allow themselves occasional infidelities without remorse, but try to spread these out so that none becomes a passion that induces them to abandon their lover. Conversely, if bored with a lover, rather than breaking the relationship off cleanly, they prefer gradually becoming so obvious in their infidelity that their lover splits.

    Very playful, they know how to keep the illusion of love alive with manifold activities, intellectual stimulation and refined sex. They can easily replace negative emotions with something more enjoyable; and they have a splendid ability to elevate the tone of a weakened relation by focusing it on more brilliant things, supplying new interests to share, burying old conflicts, and starting over again. Since they like to help, they may devote time and effort to pep up a sad or depressed lover by attempting to infuse him or her with their optimism ...

    Yet, they cannot deal with ... dependence ... if their lovers become too problematic and efforts to straighten them out do not yield fruit before too long, they weep over the relationship if it was good and go away. In a short time they recover their optimism ... it does not take them very long to find another love.

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ugh this one is pretty awful too. can't they at least preface this by saying a 7 that's really immature, selfish and doesn't care about you much....
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    ugh this one is pretty awful too. can't they at least preface this by saying a 7 that's really immature, selfish and doesn't care about you much....


    I agree, some of the descriptions are more negative than the others ... though I'm wondering if it's because some people react more personally to some particular flaws. IDK.

  4. #4
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Hahaha yeah the descriptions make me not want to be in a relationship with any of the e-types.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #5
    Society
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    for 7s that have a difficulty identifying with much of the above, do you identify with this instead?
    "Healthy Sevens with a 6 wing are responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. They are generally more oriented to relationship and want to be accepted by other people. Can be steady, more willing to stick with commitments; the 6 wing brings a longer sense of time. Usually funny or enjoy a good laugh - an amazing number of comedians are Sevens with a 6 wing. More openly vulnerable, have an unguarded, tender sweetness. Some have trouble expressing anger even when they are justified. May evade or finesse authority but still aware of it like a 6. Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes. When more entranced, may have surprise episodes of sensitivity and insecurity. Their feelings can be easily hurt sometimes. Sensitive especially to comparisons. May avoid putting themselves to the test. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Can feel guilt easily, may project their conscience onto others and then act irresponsibly. Make themselves shallow, fall in and out of love easily. Sometimes breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. When Sevens have a counterphobic 6 wing their idealism can motivate a sincere desire for social reform. May work hard for a cause. Can be antiauthority, passive/aggressive, flippant, defiant. Some report hating to be told what to do. Clashes with Ones likely. May call down trouble on themselves. Complain about the status quo. The realm of hippie rebellion" - source
    (technically not a specifically "in love" description, but much of it seems to concentrate on the relevant aspects)

  6. #6
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Can you make a thread for nines next?

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    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    @Society thanks for that 7w6 description. Much more accurate for me.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
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  8. #8
    Sheep pill, broster asynartetic's Avatar
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    I want a thread for fives in love.

    Data and the Borg Queen represent

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Society View Post
    for 7s that have a difficulty identifying with much of the above, do you identify with this instead?
    "Healthy Sevens with a 6 wing are responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. They are generally more oriented to relationship and want to be accepted by other people. Can be steady, more willing to stick with commitments; the 6 wing brings a longer sense of time. Usually funny or enjoy a good laugh - an amazing number of comedians are Sevens with a 6 wing. More openly vulnerable, have an unguarded, tender sweetness. Some have trouble expressing anger even when they are justified. May evade or finesse authority but still aware of it like a 6. Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes. When more entranced, may have surprise episodes of sensitivity and insecurity. Their feelings can be easily hurt sometimes. Sensitive especially to comparisons. May avoid putting themselves to the test. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Can feel guilt easily, may project their conscience onto others and then act irresponsibly. Make themselves shallow, fall in and out of love easily. Sometimes breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. When Sevens have a counterphobic 6 wing their idealism can motivate a sincere desire for social reform. May work hard for a cause. Can be antiauthority, passive/aggressive, flippant, defiant. Some report hating to be told what to do. Clashes with Ones likely. May call down trouble on themselves. Complain about the status quo. The realm of hippie rebellion" - source
    (technically not a specifically "in love" description, but much of it seems to concentrate on the relevant aspects)
    Yes..almost all of that yep.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
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  10. #10
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting senza. Didn't get to read until today because of the busy weekend.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    7SE characters live absorbed in their own expectations and enthused by a thousand exciting activities, and they want to do what they like just as much in company as when alone. Their extrinsic multipolar focus and typical fear of concentrating on a single course of action ... induce them to keep all their options open ... They like to meet many charming persons rather than achieve stability with one who, no matter how marvelous, may end up boring them; they desire to lead exciting adventures in which neither of the two becomes dependent.
    All true so far. Though this is very different with platonic love. I love to build stable friendships and connections with many different people, that way I can "hop" from person to person when I want to talk to someone. I'll inevitably get bored of interacting with the same person over and over. In high school, I would send out texts to all my friends at the beginning of the week asking them for a lunch date on different days so I would have a variety of types of interaction.

    But yeah, in romantic relationships the idea that I may spend the rest of my life with said individual is much more apparent so I go around "trying people out" and peace out once the spark starts to dim.

    More sensual than sexual or passionate, they enter into romantic relationships seeking to share and enjoy what each of the two has of the extraordinary; but they limit their commitment and avoid binding themselves. They tend to have sundry relations during their lives, always searching for self-sufficient lovers who complement their own interests and enthusiasms ... and who can enjoy [the world] with them without imposing restrictions ... If that is not possible, they prefer a friendship, well-defined to provide contact enough to sustain interest, but not so much of it to produce boredom or become stifling. The manner of relating is exciting and allows them to avoid having to discuss the unpleasant aspects of life.
    I would say, at face value, I'm probably more sensual than passionate with prospective boyfriends. But that's more because I'm testing the waters, and waiting to see if this person is worth investing my passion into. Underneath I have a lot of passion that gets distributed to many different interests (for me, Kelly Clarkson and other artists, anime and video games, etc).

    Having a self-sufficient lover is definitely high up on my priority list. I don't want to spend my time feeling restricted so I need someone that can self-soothe emotionally (at least on some level, I don't mind comforting people at all - I just don't want a defeatist crybaby), can deal with money-based issues, etc.

    Their fear of commitment often clothes itself in irrational fantasies, like feeling locked in a jail or hospital where the lack of freedom is complete; but once in love and committed, they are able to work hard to build a common future, which they are sure will be splendid. Meanwhile, they do not want either of the two to miss a single one of the many social, intellectual and aesthetic possibilities the world presents. Engaging in so many activities tends not to leave enough time for cultivating an authentic intimacy. They superficialize romantic relationships into doing things together and talking about interesting subjects; if a problem arises, they pack their agendas so no time exists to talk about it ...
    The prison analogy is iffy to me. I don't think I'd like to be ever forced into a situation fostering love like that.

    The last half is definitely true; I want a relationship where I'm not missing out on what's happening in the world around me. At the same time, I kind of already expect that engaging in new activities with someone will create an authentic form of intimacy (maybe this is another 7 irrational fantasy). I assume that, when I'm in love with someone, if we go on all types of adventures and get more and more experiences that all my time I've spent with them having fun and enjoying life will be creating a more intimate connection. So I guess my downfall here is that maybe I have to think about less about enjoying what life has to offer with someone, but rather enjoying what that someone himself as an individual.

    They need a lover to support their self-esteem ... but they feel a tremendous need for independence ... If a lover attempts to control or manipulate them, they discover it instantly and revel by withdrawing and becoming evasive or by distracting the other's attention, but rarely by confronting ...
    I do play games a lot when I feel manipulated or controlled, but I actually am pretty direct when it comes to calling people out on their bullshit. So sometimes I'll do things to one-up someone and make them learn their lesson via emotional punishment (which is what I'm going to call this "withdrawing and evasiveness") but I'll confront them about it too. It's like a mix of both.

    Flirty, they enjoy exerting their seductiveness because it confirms they are still sexually attractive. They allow themselves occasional infidelities without remorse, but try to spread these out so that none becomes a passion that induces them to abandon their lover. Conversely, if bored with a lover, rather than breaking the relationship off cleanly, they prefer gradually becoming so obvious in their infidelity that their lover splits.
    This sounds more unhealthy too. Like @Lady_X said, this sounds like a really immature and selfish 7. I enjoy being flirty and being seductive but I don't think I would ever cheat on my SO unless the love and passion was dead. And even then I would probably break it off before cheating, and before that I would try to bring the spark back.

    Very playful, they know how to keep the illusion of love alive with manifold activities, intellectual stimulation and refined sex. They can easily replace negative emotions with something more enjoyable; and they have a splendid ability to elevate the tone of a weakened relation by focusing it on more brilliant things, supplying new interests to share, burying old conflicts, and starting over again. Since they like to help, they may devote time and effort to pep up a sad or depressed lover by attempting to infuse him or her with their optimism ...
    Oh, I guess I already addressed this above. Guilty I guess.

    Yet, they cannot deal with ... dependence ... if their lovers become too problematic and efforts to straighten them out do not yield fruit before too long, they weep over the relationship if it was good and go away. In a short time they recover their optimism ... it does not take them very long to find another love.
    Yes.
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