Very romantic and passionate ... 4ES characters generally seem to be charming and seductive. They are always involved in love affairs, often complicated.
Projecting beyond their lack of intrinsic identity, they believe their real selves will appear when they are truly loved; so they live thirsting for a passionate and fulfilling romantic relationship, convinced that when it finally appears their inner turmoil will subside and they will become simple and satisfied persons who, complete and content, will not yearn for anything else. Devoting much time and energy to preparation for that future transcendental encounter, they reserve their fantasy only for it. They feel that the present is not real, just a rehearsal for that future moment in which the authentic self will be awakened by love...
Very passionate in an alternately languorous and intense way, their exquisite sensitivity knows how to understand and take care of all the aesthetic aspects of a romantic relationship ... Very attentive to the other’s feelings, they resonate with her or him to the point of knowing when the other is disposed to reason or to make love or when the opportunity is best to argue or to solve problems ... They enjoy romances at a distance best, and they prefer relationships that include frequent separations because it is just as important to them to communicate telepathically with their beloved at a distance as physically in her or his presence, and because separations and reunions help to increase intensity.
If they have no amorous relationship at present, they imagine with tremendous emotion finding one in the future; but in an existing relationship, they need temporary separations that offer opportunities to recall the best moments lived together and to imagine and savor in anticipation their next reunion. When this finally arrives, they are not totally present; after a while they begin to feel uncomfortable, to criticize their lover, to notice his or her failings; they are afraid that real intimacy might spoil the fantasy of a wonderful, precious, authentic, and redeeming romantic relationship. They fear both finding themselves trapped in a vulgar relationship that may become definitive, and getting close enough ... that the beloved might discover their own hidden flaws and reject them; so they try to distance themselves.
They thus perfect the refined art of building and maintaining a halfhearted intimacy, neither too near neither too far, near enough to wish for more, far enough to see only the best in the other. They manage thus to sustain their own interest, hoping meanwhile that without having to commit themselves fully, the relationship will someday become the great dreamed of romance...
These personalities become tragic romantics who ... constantly sigh for the lost love ... and for an image of happiness that only a love that never arrives could bestow.
For the same reason, they attach and cling endlessly to frustrating or humiliating ... relationships ... show themselves helpless, unable to take care of themselves, perhaps in an unconscious maneuver to obtain affection through pity ... If they suspect that they are going to be abandoned, they contract a sudden illness or enact a theatrical scene ... attempting to make the other feel guilty ... When this recourse ... fails , a refined and long lasting vengefulness is likely to arise.