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Thread: 4 versus sx 5

  1. #11
    Senior Member wildflower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    Sometimes I can't tell the difference between 4w5 and 5w4 until I get closer to a person
    hah. sometimes i can't tell the difference either and like others here have mentioned vacillate between being 4w5 and 5w4. i go back and forth on sp/sx and sx/sp too. i even vacillate between infj & maybe, possibly being intj. i guess some of us just don't fit neatly into boxes.

  2. #12
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Maybe if they're ENFP sx/so 478s. Otherwise, no.

    @Noon, I thought I might be a sexual 5w4 for awhile. It has to do with those Naranjo subtype descriptions. Also, the whole idea of confiding in a special someone/ compartmentalizing that relationship- yes, I relate to that. But when you get to the core of the type, I'm so stinking four it's crazy.

    So how do you tell them apart? Fives are more detached/cooler. They are less emotional externally and self dramatizing/ self revealing. Less personal and more analytical. There's way more of a withholding component than there is with a 4w5. And they will also seem less empathetic/sensitive.

    Telling the difference can be tricky at times, though. I know with certain people I put on five armor when I'm feeling vulnerable and don't want to share.
    Well maybe the 4w5 sx doms aren't as flashy but the 4w3's are generally pretty damn flashy.

  3. #13
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    This is something that comes up really often for me. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between 4w5 and 5w4 until I get closer to a person (they usually turn out to be 4s).

    But how can you tell them apart without being close? And if a 5w4 is a sexual subtype, can it be (almost) exactly like a 4?
    @Noon -- I am a 5w4. Self-bookmarked to remind me to reply later when I have sufficient time. I hope that isn't offensive.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  4. #14
    Member thistlechaser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I just thought this over a bit more.

    I definitely try to understand what he's thinking and how he's feeling. Just as you describe.

    It's just that my ex did this from a more removed perspective. Like he tried to understand them from outside, rather than "put himself in their shoes," become them, mentally.

    It's like he was watching his understanding of me from outside, and i was understanding him by putting myself in his shoes compulsively.

    Anyone who knows me irl would describe me as objective, calm and so forth. When I say "putting myself in his shoes" it doesnt mean I lose my objectivity. I have to figure out what differentiates us, and the commonalities, so that gives me a map to understanding.

    My understanding however, my "map" of me and him, is rooted in sense of self. His understanding is rooted outside self, "getting self out of the way."
    Oh goodness. I've felt this "map" on a very visceral level. Usually when meeting someone, beginning to explore there mind, and then their body, the intersection points light up, i feel the shapes drawn by those points merging and tugging at our individual self - shapes. Ever so often, i encounter someone for which my points all line up to mirror their shape and reduce the distance between us. In those instances, the person is usually insane. Delightful, destructive, insatiably insane.

    maybe this is the siren's call that poses to lure a 4 sp/sx to total deconstruction and ego death. i do not see 5's drawn like moths to a flame to fascinating, awful creatures in this manner

  5. #15
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thistlechaser View Post
    Oh goodness. I've felt this "map" on a very visceral level. Usually when meeting someone, beginning to explore there mind, and then their body, the intersection points light up, i feel the shapes drawn by those points merging and tugging at our individual self - shapes. Ever so often, i encounter someone for which my points all line up to mirror their shape and reduce the distance between us. In those instances, the person is usually insane. Delightful, destructive, insatiably insane.

    maybe this is the siren's call that poses to lure a 4 sp/sx to total deconstruction and ego death. i do not see 5's drawn like moths to a flame to fascinating, awful creatures in this manner
    Exactly. You worded it better than I did .. beautiful.

    Understanding this person is a visceral experience. That's the difference.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  6. #16
    Member thistlechaser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    Exactly. You worded it better than I did .. beautiful.

    Understanding this person is a visceral experience. That's the difference.
    Thank you (: i appreciated your description very much. i am currently speaking to a very fresh wound from my trip off the cliffs. even after kicking him out, i couldn't stop myself from reading the stories we were supposed to read together, compiling pics and voice recordings from our time together to try to make sense of it all? Would i carry on with our dreams to honor him or spite him? Is there a difference? Gah those seductive 4w3 silver tongued devils with the expressiveness and determination to promise all of time and space...for a moment.

  7. #17
    Member thistlechaser's Avatar
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    I feel like that moth to the flame behavior would end up manifesting a bit differently in a 4w5 vs a 5w4. I'm thinking this:

    A Perfect Circle - The Hollow (acoustic) - YouTube

    Vs.

    This:
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=czg1rpSVbWg

  8. #18
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Animal View Post
    I feel lost and disconnected if I can't relate to someone's feelings while he might feel lost and disconnected if he can't understand why something happened.
    I relate to both of these, very much, but I'm a 4w5. Why is huge for me. That's what first attracted me to personality theory. But yes, I agree that fours delve more inward into someone- mirror/introject, as you say. That's what I meant when I said fours are more empathetic. And so with a 4w5 it will be the whole package- I'm going to get to the marrow of a person and feel and understand everything about them. I want to know it all and feel it all.

  9. #19
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    I relate to both of these, very much, but I'm a 4w5. Why is huge for me. That's what first attracted me to personality theory. But yes, I agree that fours delve more inward into someone- mirror/introject, as you say. That's what I meant when I said fours are more empathetic. And so with a 4w5 it will be the whole package- I'm going to get to the marrow of a person and feel and understand everything about them. I want to know it all and feel it all.
    Yes me too.

    I posted this here:
    4 versus sx 5

    I think my original statement was a bit of an over-statement and a clumsy way to draw the contrast I was attempting to draw. Because understanding and mapping their psyche is compulsive to me as well.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  10. #20
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thistlechaser View Post
    Thank you (: i appreciated your description very much. i am currently speaking to a very fresh wound from my trip off the cliffs. even after kicking him out, i couldn't stop myself from reading the stories we were supposed to read together, compiling pics and voice recordings from our time together to try to make sense of it all? Would i carry on with our dreams to honor him or spite him? Is there a difference? Gah those seductive 4w3 silver tongued devils with the expressiveness and determination to promise all of time and space...for a moment.
    Yeah. I do the same thing. I'm still gathering pictures and songs and things, still trying to understand what happened in my first relationship which ended in 1997 officially and the "on and off" ended in 1999. That's..crazy...
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

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