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  1. #1
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Default What makes you feel safe?

    For all my enneagram 6's out there, what makes you feel safe, or what types of activities do you do to make you feel safe? For instance, I work constantly to get as much money as possible. I also try to have a large safety net of money in order to make me feel safe. I also go to college to increase my earning potential to make myself feel even safer. Also, at work I try to make friends with the bosses and authority figures in order to make them like me, so that I am not in hot water with the people that could take away my job, my income, and at the end, my sense of safety. I try to be cool with my co-workers as well, but that's not as important to me, because they can't hurt me as much as the boss's can. Also, I like to look good. I can't do it now because of medical problems, but I am saving up for health insurance so that I can once again work out and be sexy. It makes me feel good to be attractive to the opposite sex.

    What makes the other 6's on this forum feel safe?
    @skylights @Stansmith @Urarienev @greenfairy

    You all might like this thread.

  2. #2
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    I'm not sure how much of what I do relates to safety, but I am rather obsessive about health. I hate spending money, so that could be related. I avoid risky situations. Strong Sp. Also I try to avoid making people angry because of the unconscious fear that they might attack me. And of course INXJ's like contingency plans. I always carry around food and water too, but that seems more Sp.

    I think 9 and 5 fit better, but I always score high on 6.

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    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    I'm not sure how much of what I do relates to safety, but I am rather obsessive about health. I hate spending money, so that could be related. I avoid risky situations. Strong Sp. Also I try to avoid making people angry because of the unconscious fear that they might attack me. And of course INXJ's like contingency plans. I always carry around food and water too, but that seems more Sp.

    I think 9 and 5 fit better, but I always score high on 6.
    This will probably sound nuts to you, but I do many of the same things that you do. However, I also do crazy counter-phobic shit as well. On a side note, I also love to have a lot of money saved up in reserves. However, the difference is that I LOVE to spend money. I love to spend money on partying, on wining and dining women, and on personal things as well. I also avoid risky situations, but at the same time, there is a part of me that loves risk as well. Also, I also avoid getting into fist fights with people, but that's only because I am completely out of shape right now. If I was in good shape, and I had a lot of money to bail myself out of criminal charges, I would probably fist fight people all the time, just for the hell of it. Mind you, I would want to have good health insurance before I did this though.

  4. #4
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Money in the bank, no debt and a secure primary relationship. Even money in the bank isn't completely safe though because the bottom could fall out from under the currency, so it's having a diversified portfolio of assets.

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    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Money in the bank, no debt and a secure primary relationship. Even money in the bank isn't completely safe though because the bottom could fall out from under the currency, so it's having a diversified portfolio of assets.
    I agree with you that money makes me feel secure as well. I also agree that the money could be lost, and you could still be screwed. That's why I am in the process of acquiring a highly marketable skill set that will allow me to make a lot of money. That way, if all of my money gets stolen, I will be okay, because I can still continue to make more money. A secure relationship doesn't really make me feel safe, but having good looks and a lot of money to attract women does make me feel safe.

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    For me I think these are particularly important:

    • Good relationships with my nuclear family members
    • Having money in savings and living below my means
    • Planning future events that are pleasing/important to me
    • Keeping up with schoolwork and paperwork
    • Sticking with education, having gotten a BA, planning on further schooling
    • Having a steady job, preferably with a steady schedule; having a career job in the future will be even better
    • Being in a happy, forward-looking, and stable romantic relationship
      (or feeling secure in my independence and attractiveness if I'm not with anyone, but I prefer relationships)
    • A house/room/apartment that is secure, reliable, in good condition, and private, located in an area that feels right
    • Going to the doctor regularly as recommended/needed
    • Harmonious and respectful people-environments
    • Good, fun, trustworthy friends
    • Exercising/weightlifting to be physically healthy and strong


    I tried to arrange them a bit like the order they reside in my consciousness...

    For all the downsides of being a 6, the above are things I really appreciate in my life. I tend to hesitate until I know I can make a serious commitment to something and it will be there in the longterm for me, and then I like to pin that down hard. People could easily say I'm too serious about these things, but I'm so happy with how my life is in these ways, and they're very unlikely to change unless something very drastic happens. I don't worry about that much, though. If it's that catastrophic I doubt I'll be able to predict it or account for it until it happens, and I'll just do my best.

  7. #7
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Question though....how is this different from Self-preservation instinct in general? Since the 6s who've posted so far aren't Sp-dom anyway...
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #8
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    For all my enneagram 6's out there, what makes you feel safe, or what types of activities do you do to make you feel safe? For instance, I work constantly to get as much money as possible. I also try to have a large safety net of money in order to make me feel safe. I also go to college to increase my earning potential to make myself feel even safer. Also, at work I try to make friends with the bosses and authority figures in order to make them like me, so that I am not in hot water with the people that could take away my job, my income, and at the end, my sense of safety. I try to be cool with my co-workers as well, but that's not as important to me, because they can't hurt me as much as the boss's can. Also, I like to look good. I can't do it now because of medical problems, but I am saving up for health insurance so that I can once again work out and be sexy. It makes me feel good to be attractive to the opposite sex.

    What makes the other 6's on this forum feel safe?
    @skylights @Stansmith @Urarienev @greenfairy

    You all might like this thread.

    I should say, that I don't have that solid of a support system because I don't let people in very easily emotionally, and that certainty is my main form of how I feel secure.

    • Having independence is huge for me
    • Fixing things myself
    • Doing things on my own in general
    • Having a lot of responsibility
    • Having a dog
    • Exercising
    • Keeping things clean and organized
    • (If I had one) Having a romantic partner that "gets me" ( I miss that, and I think it's a very big source of where I get my sense of security from unfortunately :/ )
    • Saving money
    • Taking care of finances in general. I agree with Highlander on this.
    • Having my own home, and having it in the right place. ( I don't like living in the sticks)
    • Following a schedule
    • Making sure I don't piss off the people I care about or making up immediately. I will almost always say sorry first.
    • Winning over authority.
    • And I agree with skylights going to regular check ups
    • Anything that gives me the sense that I have a clean slate. This is a big one too. My happiness can sometimes depends on this.


    I can't think of anymore right now, but I will most likely be back to add more.

    Really awesome thread btw!!
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  9. #9
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Question though....how is this different from Self-preservation instinct in general? Since the 6s who've posted so far aren't Sp-dom anyway...
    Good question.

    I'm an SP dom and a 6 wing. For me, I feel safe when:

    I have enough money to live comfortably
    When I'm with family and close friends
    I can trust other people around me
    I live in a low crime area
    I have good health
    I don't feel like I'm in immediate danger of my physical or mental health being threatened
    I feel both physically and emotionally comfortable
    I know what I'm getting myself into
    I plan for the worst but hope for the best
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  10. #10
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    For me I think these are particularly important:

    • Good relationships with my nuclear family members
    • Having money in savings and living below my means
    • Planning future events that are pleasing/important to me
    • Keeping up with schoolwork and paperwork
    • Sticking with education, having gotten a BA, planning on further schooling
    • Having a steady job, preferably with a steady schedule; having a career job in the future will be even better
    • Being in a happy, forward-looking, and stable romantic relationship
      (or feeling secure in my independence and attractiveness if I'm not with anyone, but I prefer relationships)
    • A house/room/apartment that is secure, reliable, in good condition, and private, located in an area that feels right
    • Going to the doctor regularly as recommended/needed
    • Harmonious and respectful people-environments
    • Good, fun, trustworthy friends
    • Exercising/weightlifting to be physically healthy and strong


    I tried to arrange them a bit like the order they reside in my consciousness...

    For all the downsides of being a 6, the above are things I really appreciate in my life. I tend to hesitate until I know I can make a serious commitment to something and it will be there in the longterm for me, and then I like to pin that down hard. People could easily say I'm too serious about these things, but I'm so happy with how my life is in these ways, and they're very unlikely to change unless something very drastic happens. I don't worry about that much, though. If it's that catastrophic I doubt I'll be able to predict it or account for it until it happens, and I'll just do my best.
    Yeah, I see then you put a much greater emphasis on social things then me. However, I noticed that you put a lot more emphasis on self-pres things then I thought you would. I would almost think that sp last types would neglect this shit totally. In fact, I wanted to see what SP lasts said, and that's one of the major reasons I made this thread.

    On a side note, when I am in a relationship, I feel wonderful but I also feel trapped. I don't like to limit myself to one girl.

    Also, I'm glad you can get health care, because I can't. Health care is a king's ransom now-a-days, and Obama Care didn't help me a damn bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Question though....how is this different from Self-preservation instinct in general? Since the 6s who've posted so far aren't Sp-dom anyway...
    Yeah, that is why I made this thread, to differentiate Sp from type 6.

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    I should say, that I don't have that solid of a support system because I don't let people in very easily emotionally, and that certainty is my main form of how I feel secure.

    • Having independence is huge for me
    • Fixing things myself
    • Doing things on my own in general
    • Having a lot of responsibility
    • Having a dog
    • Exercising
    • Keeping things clean and organized
    • (If I had one) Having a romantic partner that "gets me" ( I miss that, and I think it's a very big source of where I get my sense of security from unfortunately :/ )
    • Saving money
    • Taking care of finances in general. I agree with Highlander on this.
    • Having my own home, and having it in the right place. ( I don't like living in the sticks)
    • Following a schedule
    • Making sure I don't piss off the people I care about or making up immediately. I will almost always say sorry first.
    • Winning over authority.
    • And I agree with skylights going to regular check ups
    • Anything that gives me the sense that I have a clean slate. This is a big one too. My happiness can sometimes depends on this.


    I can't think of anymore right now, but I will most likely be back to add more.

    Really awesome thread btw!!
    Yeah a lot of this stuff is just Te shit, because I wouldn't care about of lot of this stuff at all. Thanks for saying it's an awesome thread though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Such Irony View Post
    Good question.

    I'm an SP dom and a 6 wing. For me, I feel safe when:

    I have enough money to live comfortably
    When I'm with family and close friends
    I can trust other people around me
    I live in a low crime area
    I have good health
    I don't feel like I'm in immediate danger of my physical or mental health being threatened
    I feel both physically and emotionally comfortable
    I know what I'm getting myself into
    I plan for the worst but hope for the best
    How important is it for you to look sexually attractive and to appeal to the opposite sex?

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