Well I'm working 40 hours a week now, and I've now been at the job for 2 months. I am too damn poor to go to school in the summer, but I fully plan to attend school in the fall and have already signed up for 2 classes but I will probably just wind up taking one class because I'm paying for classes out of pocket now. The struggle is horrible, but I'll eventually get through it. Overall, I am really starting to believe that I am a 6w7 sp/sx though. My real life fears are the most reminiscent with the sp/sx 6w7 more then any other type. I also fit the Ocean-Moonshine description of the sp/sx 6w7 the best as well as the Naranjo description as well. Finally, it seems like the way that I live my life, and everything that my life is centered around tends to fit the sp/sx 6w7 description the best as well.You certainly have a lot of stress on you right now. Props to you for staying with school and your job. The struggle must suck but it'll be so rewarding when you get to the end. But as for your variant, I have a hard time seeing it with you too. You always seem to have mostly sp/sx concerns, but you seem to vibe something softer.
1) Yes, you fit the Naranjo social 6 description to a T.Probably not as strong. I'd say I'm in pretty solid 6 territory and just lean more often towards 7. I have some 5ish qualities too. I think I'm most scared that I'll think I'll have found the right one and then years down the road I'll learn that I was wrong.
2)Yes, I'm also worried about marrying the wrong mate and regretting it later. This is a HUGE fear of mine as well.
Why do you care about what society thinks about your appearance? Is it because people that are more attractive are generally deemed more prestigious in the social ladder?It's important but yet its not something I spend a lot of time or thought on. Regarding my appearance, I'm pretty low maintenance. I don't like to spend alot of time fussing with clothes or my hair. I don't bother with make-up. Too much work. That said, I do care about how I look, but it's more how society in general thinks about my appearance more than it is about attracting one potential mate (Social > sexual). I definitely don't want to be thought of ugly and I would be deeply hurt if someone thought that of me, especially someone I was attracted to. But overall, what occupies my thoughts and priorities in life are other things.
1) Yes, I agree with you full-heartedly: The more money I had in the bank, the more I could lose. So what I would then do, is to get every sort of security feature that I could to make sure that I didn't lose my money. I would hire a tech team to insure the protection my money in cyber space to avoid getting my online bank account hacked and getting my money stolen and to ensure that my identity wasn't stolen. Also, I would buy every sort of financial insurance that I could: I would buy full-collision insurance on all of my vehicles, house insurance in case my house burned down, and VERY good health insurance (because we all know how fast medical bills can deplete your finances).For me, a lot of the things mentioned above can make me feel better, but I will add one thing to the mix here. Perhaps on account of my 6-ness, the more I have means the more I can lose. For example, a lot of money in the bank can be something else to worry about. Or, a loving relationship can be a potential heartbreak. Because 6's can sometimes consider worst-case scenarios, these wonderful things can fuel a certain kind of 6-ish apprehension rather than a feeling of safety.
2) When it comes to love relationships, I often worry about those too. I'm terrified that I will lose the woman of my own personal desire. When, I do lose her, it's devastating for me and this bothers me to no end. However, I don't really worry about that as much because there isn't really as much that I can do to prevent this, like there is for me to prevent getting my finances depleted. Things that I do to prevent this is to try to treat my lover as good as possible, to pleasure her sexually as much as I possibly can, to buy her nice things, and to try to keep my appearance in top shape to avoid her leaving me do to physical unattractiveness.
Yes, I also realize that a lot of my sense of safety resides within myself. I didn't realize this until I was prescribed Xanax when I was in high school. When I took Xanax, the world changed for me: I no longer worried about my car being stolen, I didn't worry about whether some comment I made was going to offend someone and whether or not they would beat me up for it, I also didn't worry about whether I would do something stupid and get expelled from the nice private school that my parents sent me to that cost them 5K a year to send me to, and I also didn't automatically assume that everything that I touched would end up in failure because I would somehow fuck it up. No, when I took Xanax, there was sense of freedom that I got and my entire world changed. At this moment, I really realized how much of this anxiety is just in my head, and how much of it really dictates my world. To tell the truth, it is because of this that I am afraid to experiment with any type of street drugs at all, because I could get addicted to them SO easily. I am constantly looking for that moment of freedom from my anxiety.So, my feeling of safety may most likely originate inside myself as a result of my internal thoughts (perhaps as a result of a quiet sit for 10 or 15 minutes) rather than an external change in my circumstance. It seems like my feelings of safety may have more to do with what's going through my mind rather than my actual life circumstances. So, the wonderful things mentioned above can make me happy temporarily, but I feel like my 6-ness dictates that any deeper, long term feeling of safety must result from my conscious choice to take charge of how I think about the things that I think I want to get.
Also, I think you mentioned that as a 6 you think that things are always going to go to hell. This is a pretty common 6 trait, but it applies to the Sp 6's more then any other types.