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  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Yeah, I see then you put a much greater emphasis on social things then me. However, I noticed that you put a lot more emphasis on self-pres things then I thought you would. I would almost think that sp last types would neglect this shit totally. In fact, I wanted to see what SP lasts said, and that's one of the major reasons I made this thread.
    Yeah, it's funny to me how much it overlaps sometimes. My boyfriend's an e9 and the shared attributes and contrasts are interesting, since he's way more laid back and spontaneous but he's also an ISFJ sp-first. We have our areas in which we're way more uptight and not. I think the most telling difference is that he instinctively (literally) and very naturally stays on top of his self-preservation. If he's tired, he finds a way to take a nap. If he's dirty, he showers. If something's not right in his home, he fixes it. If his laundry needs doing, he does it. For me, all those things fall way to the bottom of my priority list. I might be tired but if I still feel like I need to run errands and visit my grandma, I'll do those things first. My poor car rarely gets serviced unless my parents remind me. It's "maintenance" tasks that are so hard for me, and so that's kind of how I've come to see sp-first and how it's different from 6. 6 makes sure you're safe, but sp makes sure you're maintained. Sometimes they overlap, like going to the doctor, or sometimes they're laundry and get neglected for as long as humanly possible.

    On a side note, when I am in a relationship, I feel wonderful but I also feel trapped. I don't like to limit myself to one girl.
    I thought I would get more of that because of e7, but turns out I experience more fear/uncertainty about "is this the one" than any feelings of being trapped. I really want a traditional longterm relationship that leads into marriage, kids, grandkids, and being crazy old people together, so that's the concern that's usually haunting me, if anything. I really just want to have one person, but I want them happy with me forever, which is the hard part.

    Also, I'm glad you can get health care, because I can't. Health care is a king's ransom now-a-days, and Obama Care didn't help me a damn bit.
    ! PM me about this, what happened? I just signed up for March and my monthly payment is very low thanks to the government-issued stipend. Went from 200+ to 40, and I have one heck of a preexisting condition. I could give you the number of the people I worked with who help me set everything up, if you think it'd be of any use.

  2. #12
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @skylights

    Yeah, it's funny to me how much it overlaps sometimes. My boyfriend's an e9 and the shared attributes and contrasts are interesting, since he's way more laid back and spontaneous but he's also an ISFJ sp-first. We have our areas in which we're way more uptight and not. I think the most telling difference is that he instinctively (literally) and very naturally stays on top of his self-preservation. If he's tired, he finds a way to take a nap. If he's dirty, he showers. If something's not right in his home, he fixes it. If his laundry needs doing, he does it. For me, all those things fall way to the bottom of my priority list. I might be tired but if I still feel like I need to run errands and visit my grandma, I'll do those things first. My poor car rarely gets serviced unless my parents remind me. It's "maintenance" tasks that are so hard for me, and so that's kind of how I've come to see sp-first and how it's different from 6. 6 makes sure you're safe, but sp makes sure you're maintained. Sometimes they overlap, like going to the doctor, or sometimes they're laundry and get neglected for as long as humanly possible.
    Well this is why it is so hard for me to figure out my variant stack. I have a horrible gagging problem that makes it impossible for me to exercise, horrible PTSD complete with panic attacks, and I little fractured my penis not too long ago and it hurts a lot. Oh, and that's just the health problems that I have. In addition, I have horrible bed bugs that won't die no matter what I do, and eat me alive every night that I go to sleep, and I have had them for an entire year now. I literally have to take sleeping pills to go to sleep every night as well. I also have to share a car with my dad, which is a major inconvenience. Finally, I live in a really ghetto area, and in the last 2 years I have lived here, they have found 2 dead bodies here, we have gotten bed bugs twice, there was a drug raid and they had cops with shotguns, K9 drug hounds, and HUGE bullet proof vest come and raid a house for drugs, and the neighbors are all very loud and blare really loud music. Also, my father is an ex-con and I have to carry him a lot because he can't seem to get a job, no matter what he does. My life is a living hell right now, and it seems like money is the only thing that will solve it! So I have to work like a slave constantly to end this misery!

    I thought I would get more of that because of e7, but turns out I experience more fear/uncertainty about "is this the one" than any feelings of being trapped. I really want a traditional longterm relationship that leads into marriage, kids, grandkids, and being crazy old people together, so that's the concern that's usually haunting me, if anything. I really just want to have one person, but I want them happy with me forever, which is the hard part.
    Well when I am in a committed relationship, I worry whether I have found "the one" as well. After all, when there are so many fish out there, how can you be sure that you have found "the perfect fish"? However, most of the time, I feel that relationships make me feel trapped though, because I feel like I am limiting my options. However, I have a VERY strong 7 wing. How strong is your 7 wing?

    ! PM me about this, what happened? I just signed up for March and my monthly payment is very low thanks to the government-issued stipend. Went from 200+ to 40, and I have one heck of a preexisting condition. I could give you the number of the people I worked with who help me set everything up, if you think it'd be of any use.
    I will PM you.

  3. #13
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Well this is why it is so hard for me to figure out my variant stack. I have a horrible gagging problem that makes it impossible for me to exercise, horrible PTSD complete with panic attacks, and I little fractured my penis not too long ago and it hurts a lot. Oh, and that's just the health problems that I have. In addition, I have horrible bed bugs that won't die no matter what I do, and eat me alive every night that I go to sleep, and I have had them for an entire year now. I literally have to take sleeping pills to go to sleep every night as well. I also have to share a car with my dad, which is a major inconvenience. Finally, I live in a really ghetto area, and in the last 2 years I have lived here, they have found 2 dead bodies here, we have gotten bed bugs twice, there was a drug raid and they had cops with shotguns, K9 drug hounds, and HUGE bullet proof vest come and raid a house for drugs, and the neighbors are all very loud and blare really loud music. Also, my father is an ex-con and I have to carry him a lot because he can't seem to get a job, no matter what he does. My life is a living hell right now, and it seems like money is the only thing that will solve it! So I have to work like a slave constantly to end this misery!
    You certainly have a lot of stress on you right now. Props to you for staying with school and your job. The struggle must suck but it'll be so rewarding when you get to the end. But as for your variant, I have a hard time seeing it with you too. You always seem to have mostly sp/sx concerns, but you seem to vibe something softer.

    Well when I am in a committed relationship, I worry whether I have found "the one" as well. After all, when there are so many fish out there, how can you be sure that you have found "the perfect fish"? However, most of the time, I feel that relationships make me feel trapped though, because I feel like I am limiting my options. However, I have a VERY strong 7 wing. How strong is your 7 wing?
    Probably not as strong. I'd say I'm in pretty solid 6 territory and just lean more often towards 7. I have some 5ish qualities too. I think I'm most scared that I'll think I'll have found the right one and then years down the road I'll learn that I was wrong.

  4. #14
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post

    How important is it for you to look sexually attractive and to appeal to the opposite sex?
    It's important but yet its not something I spend a lot of time or thought on. Regarding my appearance, I'm pretty low maintenance. I don't like to spend alot of time fussing with clothes or my hair. I don't bother with make-up. Too much work. That said, I do care about how I look, but it's more how society in general thinks about my appearance more than it is about attracting one potential mate (Social > sexual). I definitely don't want to be thought of ugly and I would be deeply hurt if someone thought that of me, especially someone I was attracted to. But overall, what occupies my thoughts and priorities in life are other things.
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  5. #15
    Junior Member PursuitOfHappiness's Avatar
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    For me, a lot of the things mentioned above can make me feel better, but I will add one thing to the mix here. Perhaps on account of my 6-ness, the more I have means the more I can lose. For example, a lot of money in the bank can be something else to worry about. Or, a loving relationship can be a potential heartbreak. Because 6's can sometimes consider worst-case scenarios, these wonderful things can fuel a certain kind of 6-ish apprehension rather than a feeling of safety.

    So, my feeling of safety may most likely originate inside myself as a result of my internal thoughts (perhaps as a result of a quiet sit for 10 or 15 minutes) rather than an external change in my circumstance. It seems like my feelings of safety may have more to do with what's going through my mind rather than my actual life circumstances. So, the wonderful things mentioned above can make me happy temporarily, but I feel like my 6-ness dictates that any deeper, long term feeling of safety must result from my conscious choice to take charge of how I think about the things that I think I want to get.

  6. #16
    LadyLazarus
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    Somewhat slightly still considering 6w7. Either way I'm going to answer this.

    Things that make me feel safe:

    1.)Being in a relationship.
    2.)My family.
    3.)Alone time.
    4.)Financial stability.

  7. #17
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    -Relationship problems being resolved

    -Physical health

    -Resources to obtain and proximity to food and shelter

    -The option to be alone (most important)

    Pretty simple.
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  8. #18
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    -The option to be alone (most important)
    ^ This is crucial.
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  9. #19
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PursuitOfHappiness View Post
    For me, a lot of the things mentioned above can make me feel better, but I will add one thing to the mix here. Perhaps on account of my 6-ness, the more I have means the more I can lose. For example, a lot of money in the bank can be something else to worry about. Or, a loving relationship can be a potential heartbreak. Because 6's can sometimes consider worst-case scenarios, these wonderful things can fuel a certain kind of 6-ish apprehension rather than a feeling of safety.

    So, my feeling of safety may most likely originate inside myself as a result of my internal thoughts (perhaps as a result of a quiet sit for 10 or 15 minutes) rather than an external change in my circumstance. It seems like my feelings of safety may have more to do with what's going through my mind rather than my actual life circumstances. So, the wonderful things mentioned above can make me happy temporarily, but I feel like my 6-ness dictates that any deeper, long term feeling of safety must result from my conscious choice to take charge of how I think about the things that I think I want to get.
    Yea, that's the only true security we have. It comes from within. But I find that so hard to cultivate.
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  10. #20
    Stansmith
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    It's usually intangibles like having a sense of consistency and refinement in regards to my priorities, knowing how things will play out, feeling in control of my circumstances, etc. Going from point-A to point-B without any unnecessary diversions or distractions.

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