Let’s talk about stress. Everyone feels it, in varying degrees and amounts, depending on what’s going on in our lives at the time. But we’re going to take a look at a different kind of stress. Not the kind that comes from having too much going on in our lives, but the kind that we bring on ourselves. Each type feels stress a little differently. At times we can be our own worst enemies by the way we choose to view ourselves and the world around us. Let’s look at the situations and issues that causes each Enneagram type stress.
What causes us stress:
Type One- The Reformer: Not being able to quiet their internal critic, which leads to anxiety and worry. There is too much error to correct and too much that must be done right- which means it must be done by them personally. Feeling resentment towards others for not carrying their own load, and the tension this gives to their relationships with others. Other people not taking responsibility for their own mistakes, or worse, blaming the Ones for pointing those mistakes out.
Type Two- The Helper: Feeling needed by too many people and for too many projects. Confusion of what their own needs are. Emotional upheavals resulting from investing too much in relationships- especially challenging ones. Feeling needy of others because their own needs haven’t been met. Feeling unappreciated makes them feel dispensable and worried about future rejection.
Type Three- The Achiever: The intense pressure they put on themselves to maintain their image. Feeling good about themselves in based entirely on how much they get done, so any kind of set back to their plans leads to a drop in their self-esteem. Not knowing their real feelings and values because they’ve repressed or adapted them to suit others. Trying to do too much in too short a time. Worry about failure.
Type Four- The Individualist: People and experiences not living up to their expectations or romantic ideals. Envying what others have that they do not have, wanting more than is available. Overwhelming feelings are difficult to deal with, especially in an emotional crisis. Feeling misunderstood by others, or not seen as unique.
Type Five- The Investigator: Failing to maintain enough privacy or boundaries. Feeling tired and pushed to limits when they don’t have enough private time to restore their energy. Desires, wants and needs that may lead to dependency on others. Not taking action until they’ve learned everything there is to know. Too many emotions that get in the way of other things.
Type Six- The Loyalist: The pressure they put on themselves in order to deal with insecurity and uncertainty. Trying to maintain the trust and goodwill of others while at the same time, feeling mistrustful and skeptical of them. Feeling let down by authority figures, not being able to count on them for support. Defensive lashing out at others that leads to people backing away and avoiding them.
Type Seven- The Enthusiast: Difficulty coping with overload from trying every opportunity available to them. Making the same mistake over and over because avoiding pain means they don’t learn the lessons that pain can teach. Making commitments in the moment, then feeling trapped by them later. Constraints and limits that prevent them from getting what they want.
Type Eight- The Challenger: Seeing injustice and being unable to correct it. Having to contain their confrontational style. Dealing with the fallout when they can’t contain it. Denying fatigue or pain from going at full speed all the time. Feeling controlled by others.
Type Nine- The Peacemaker: Being forced to take a definite position or stand. Having to say no to someone and then having that person get angry. Being forced to make decisions or set priorities on a time limit. Dealing with a commitment they made that they didn’t really want to make. Others being upset because they have procrastinated carrying out those commitments. Being treated as unimportant or taken for granted.