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  1. #1
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    Default What are 4w3s like?

    So I have a 4w3 fix and I'm interested to know what real core 4w3s are like. I haven't really seen many 4w3s around mostly 4w5s. So 4w3s what does being "the aristocrat" mean to you? Do you have drama queen or diva tendencies?

  2. #2
    LadyLazarus
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    Stupid.
    I hate those fuckers most of all.

    On a serious note, I think being an ISFP 4w3 makes me seem more extroverted than the enneagram 9 ISFP's.

    I must admit I do have some drama queen tendencies(ok a lot of drama queen tendencies) and a bit of diva-ish tendencies as well.
    Mostly I think it all stems from an extremely high degree of self-absorption though.I do sometimes exaggerate these tendencies because I enjoy the feel they give me but then I feel like a fake so I stop.I try not to pretend to be something I'm not but instead exaggerate aspects of who I already am.

    To put it succinctly, "being the aristocrat" for me at least is about contradictions within my own identity, it's about concern for authenticity warring with concern about presenting a likable facade to the world, then being confused and disgusted after doing so.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    Stupid.
    I hate those fuckers most of all.
    Ok post again and this time tell me about yourself god damnit. I want to know how much of my megalomania comes from 4w3.

  4. #4
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Ok post again and this time tell me about yourself god damnit. I want to know how much of my megalomania comes from 4w3.
    Look up I edited.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    Stupid.
    I hate those fuckers most of all.

    On a serious note, I think being an ISFP 4w3 makes me seem more extroverted than the enneagram 9 ISFP's.

    I must admit I do have some drama queen tendencies(ok a lot of drama queen tendencies) and a bit of diva-ish tendencies as well.
    Mostly I think it all stems from an extremely high degree of self-absorption though.

    To put it succinctly, "being the aristocrat" for me at least is about contradictions within my own identity, it's about concern for authenticity warring with concern about presenting a likable facade to the world, then being confused and disgusted after doing so.
    Do you feel like the whole world should burn at your feet just so you can live? Or is that just me?

    I relate to the facade and being confused thing but it's not that extreme.

  6. #6
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Do you feel like the whole world should burn at your feet just so you can live? Or is that just me?

    I relate to the facade and being confused thing but it's not that extreme.
    In a sense yes, I'm an extremely selfish person, I'd be ok with the world burning at my feet if it was of benefit to me for some reason, but I wouldn't want it to burn if it was of no benefit to me.
    I think that's just my Fi though, Ti probably wouldn't have that dilemma.

  7. #7
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    I've only looked into this enneagram stuff within the past week. I took the test on two different sites. The first time I came out 3w4 and the other site it was 4w either 5 or 3. I don't like the idea that I'm concerned so much with my image, but I accept it. It stems from my childhood, and my brother was the "smart" one with no proof of it. I got praise only when I did something, and I did a lot of somethings, awards, good grades, not to brag, but I've got a Master of Science, and still to this day, the broad label of being "smart" is never applied to me. I surpassed my brother's accomplishments a long time ago.

    This megalomania you speak of, I think I have that too. I quit my job in October, because it seemed like chump change to me. I could stay at that job all my life and people would be pleased with me...I thought I should take a risk, and do something I enjoyed that might have more impact on the world. There's a chance it won't work out and I'm letting my career go and my resume will have a lot of empty space on it, but I figure you have to gamble big to win big. Most of my family and friends act awkward when I tell them about what I'm up to, and my parents don't approve. Doesn't matter. I've already proven that I'm as high functioning as they are, and they're not as special as they think. I wished they knew the extent of my low opinions of them, especially the fraction of the family who think More Money=Better/Higher Status=Better Human Being and they're imposing these values on me. They have no idea what a huge insult this is to me, and I doubt that they could understand why.

    Do you relate to any of this?

    Enjoyed sharing with you.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    In a sense yes, I'm an extremely selfish person, I'd be ok with the world burning at my feet if it was of benefit to me for some reason, but I wouldn't want it to burn if it was of no benefit to me.
    I think that's just my Fi though, Ti probably wouldn't have that dilemma.
    Hmm interesting. For me I wouldn't call 4w3 an aristocrat or diva. I would call it more of a king or emperor syndrome.

    Quote Originally Posted by theDarkSide View Post
    I've only looked into this enneagram stuff within the past week. I took the test on two different sites. The first time I came out 3w4 and the other site it was 4w either 5 or 3. I don't like the idea that I'm concerned so much with my image, but I accept it. It stems from my childhood, and my brother was the "smart" one with no proof of it. I got praise only when I did something, and I did a lot of somethings, awards, good grades, not to brag, but I've got a Master of Science, and still to this day, the broad label of being "smart" is never applied to me. I surpassed my brother's accomplishments a long time ago.

    This megalomania you speak of, I think I have that too. I quit my job in October, because it seemed like chump change to me. I could stay at that job all my life and people would be pleased with me...I thought I should take a risk, and do something I enjoyed that might have more impact on the world. There's a chance it won't work out and I'm letting my career go and my resume will have a lot of empty space on it, but I figure you have to gamble big to win big. Most of my family and friends act awkward when I tell them about what I'm up to, and my parents don't approve. Doesn't matter. I've already proven that I'm as high functioning as they are, and they're not as special as they think. I wished they knew the extent of my low opinions of them, especially the fraction of the family who think More Money=Better/Higher Status=Better Human Being and they're imposing these values on me. They have no idea what a huge insult this is to me, and I doubt that they could understand why.

    Do you relate to any of this?

    Enjoyed sharing with you.
    Yea I relate to it somewhat. I have never had a job more than 3 months because I always felt like it was worthless or beneath me. I always treated the jobs like garbage.

  9. #9
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    I didn't treat any job really as if it were beneath me, but I was always trying to escape from it. Like, I got that Master's degree partly believing it'd help me get a better position (which was also beneath me). I hate to admit that I felt that way or to discuss my bigger aspirations, but I did think I could do something more meaningful and less mundane. Maybe it was a longer journey for me than you to reach the point where I could act on what I felt. I had to prove something to myself, that I could have a certain job, before moving on to something bigger. Possibly you aren't as achievement-oriented. I have to take what is in my head and heart and prove it to the world. So, I'm in touch with the reality that I'm not what I wish I were, and trying to reconcile that. Everyone might do that in your own way. I'm pretty sure some of my relatives are aware to some level of what I think of them, and my perceptions are their reality and they have to correct me by telling me what shit they own, where they've been, blah, blah, blah, and if I think differently about them, then that alters the reality of what they are. If they were tryng to impress me, they went about it all wrong...

    Oh it's late. Going to sleep.

  10. #10
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Hmm interesting. For me I wouldn't call 4w3 an aristocrat or diva. I would call it more of a king or emperor syndrome.
    From my perspective,

    Unhealthy 4w3's may be more susceptible to "emperor syndrome", as healthier 4's grow towards 1, which may instill in them some sort of morality/ help them find their own morality, which may then result in them becoming less emperor-like and take the edge off their entitlement tendencies a bit. I've read healthy 4's tend to be kind, sincere, and righteous, which in my experience has held true for me at my best.

    Unhealthy 4's however fall deeper into the pit of narcissism(extreme case) and indulge their emperor syndrome instead of learning to moderate it like healthy 4's, at 2 they may become not only needier but also more demanding.
    I think, at my worst I tend to become a "princess" so to speak, my self-absorption, selfishness, and entitlement go through the roof and I become a very clingy and demanding person.

    To summarize; when healthy I am a reasonable woman, when unhealthy I am a bitchy princess.
    Although, no matter how healthy I get I'm still not inclined towards self-sacrifice or even discomfort, my needs/ wants will always be my priority.

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