Although E9's are often described as being self-forgetting, dependent, malleable and unassuming, quite a few 9s strike me as being the exact opposite; having a strong sense of autonomy, individuality, etc.. Often times, moreso than most.
Is it something that they presumably had to work at? If you're an E9, how would you describe your experience with the trait?
First things first, I
strongly object to the idea that 9s are dependent. I have not heard that one and very much disagree with it, self-forgetting, malleable and unassuming; yes, dependent; no.
We give up our own needs because we believe they are unimportant, there is no reason to be dependent on others because of this. One simply needs to witness the stubbornness of a 9 when they disagree to realise we are independent on matters we care about.
Ignoring 'dependent', in true 9 style I say I do not see the other things things being opposites or incompatible with being autonomous or strongly individual.
In the absence of an opinion a 9 will just go along, we will be unaware of our personal stance as we haven't considered or upon consideration found we really couldn't feel strongly one way or another, if someone else has a strong view we will go along with them because of our lack of conviction for or against and the impact of holy love on our desire to not be unacceptable to others means 'why not?', after all the 9 doesn't care so let's not close the door to any options, and let's also not create a situation where someone else's needs that seem to be important are dismissed, we hate it when the latter happens to us so do not enjoy doing it to others.
If we do have a view though, then we will likely react one of three ways to someone with an opposing wish; we will with diplomacy share why we 'can understand their view but prefer our alternate view', will silently and stubbornly ignore them and do what we want regardless of their wishes, or (over) react with anger/defiance/strength either a version of strong moral conviction of a w1 or assertiveness of a w8 and show our disagreement.
Personally, I am highly malleable, yet I am also fiercely independent, this plays out by being forever open to views on 99% of life, things I haven't sat down and via my own experiences and learning come to a hard fast conclusion, I, like all 9s, can see and hold duel seemingly contradictory points of views open in my mind as valid possibilities so in a conversation if you hold a strong view and it contradicts what I have previously considered, I can genuinely see it as a possibility, however there are firm boundaries with me, I cannot be moved if I do not want to be, I will rely on no one to get what I want once I've made up my mind. I minimise my own needs in a self forgetting way, I am malleable and unassuming, I am also always autonomous despite my willingness to work with others and I am my own man who will not be changed because others want it. Often when a 9 goes along with others it's because they are uninvested, when we do not it's a sign we are present in the moment as we tend to know what we do not want easier than knowing what we do.
