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  1. #1
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    Default Nice things to say about 4s?

    At the risk of sounding like a whiny, self-absorbed Type 4... does anyone have something nice to say about 4s? Are we all ridiculous drama queens? What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?

    Even the "keywords" in the image from the Enneagram Institute encourages us 4s to share is kind of offensive. Why would anyone ever put that on their blog or website?

    "Why yes, I am temperamental, self-absorbed, withdrawn, overly sensitive, and dramatic. At least I'm expressive?"

    Am I just reacting like a stereotypical 4? Does anyone have anything NICE to say about the 4 type or should I try and do everything in my power to change Types? Is it even possible to change type?

  2. #2
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    @louisiannie

    4s not only feel with an intensity and depth that is beautiful, but it's like since they're so wrapped up in it, they're able to identify and express nuances of them that resonate with me, but i would have never been able to express it so concretely or eloquently. it helps me to be in touch with my own feelings to hear from 4s a lot of the times, since i feel a lot of the same things, but don't focus on them as intensely. it's really a great gift.

    also, almost every thing i've ever read about type 7 on the internet has made me feel like shit about myself. the enneagram is expressed in negative terms like fear and coping strategies that can make any type feel like a lousy sack of crap.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  3. #3
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by louisiannie View Post
    At the risk of sounding like a whiny, self-absorbed Type 4... does anyone have something nice to say about 4s? Are we all ridiculous drama queens? What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?

    Even the "keywords" in the image from the Enneagram Institute encourages us 4s to share is kind of offensive. Why would anyone ever put that on their blog or website?

    "Why yes, I am temperamental, self-absorbed, withdrawn, overly sensitive, and dramatic. At least I'm expressive?"

    Am I just reacting like a stereotypical 4? Does anyone have anything NICE to say about the 4 type or should I try and do everything in my power to change Types? Is it even possible to change type?
    Don't EVER change types. You E4 INFPs are indispensable...you provide emotional depth and resolution and (if you know what I mean) "precision" : you are able to reach intuitively within other people's very moods and pull out the essential ingredients, so that those others who are hurting can grow beyond (and even, via) their pain, turning it into richness and wisdom.

    I am grateful for the existence of INFPs. (And, even though not mentioned, you Type 9s are pretty freaking awesome too...) when you bother to come out of your shells and show your resplendence.

    Signed,

    A grateful INTJ.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  4. #4
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by louisiannie View Post
    What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?
    This does not sound like something a 4 would ask. Wouldn't that rob you of your individuality?
    {The Diplomat}
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  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    This does not sound like something a 4 would ask. Wouldn't that rob you of your individuality?
    Nope. Not when it is part of your 'individuality' to be likeable, kind and have good relationships with others.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grey_beard View Post
    Don't EVER change types. You E4 INFPs are indispensable...you provide emotional depth and resolution and (if you know what I mean) "precision" : you are able to reach intuitively within other people's very moods and pull out the essential ingredients, so that those others who are hurting can grow beyond (and even, via) their pain, turning it into richness and wisdom.

    I am grateful for the existence of INFPs. (And, even though not mentioned, you Type 9s are pretty freaking awesome too...) when you bother to come out of your shells and show your resplendence.

    Signed,

    A grateful INTJ.
    It just doesn't make for the best party trick, unfortunately
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by louisiannie View Post
    I do not have enough knowledge to recognize people's enneagram type but, theoretically speaking, 4s do not take shit from other people and do not allow others to define who they (the 4s) really are...?

  8. #8
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    It just doesn't make for the best party trick, unfortunately
    Bah! A pox upon thee!
    Parties are for extroverted sensors and other riff-raff!
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  9. #9
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    you probably like transient cheese more than anyone else in the world

    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #10
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    Default

    Thank you. I've been feeling really gross/unloveable after reading a lot of stuff on INFPs and the Type 4 personality. Some commenters on another forum (not THIS one - y'all are awesome) basically flat out attack 4 Types with "open letters" detailing how all 4 qualities make you annoying, get you uninvited to social functions, difficult to work with, etc.

    It's really nice to hear that 4s aren't terrible. I know I've got work to do channeling my emotions in more productive ways. It's hard to be criticized for something you struggle with/can't control - such as feeling things deeply and picking up on other's emotions (positive and negative).

    Anywho, lovely to be a part of this forum and delightful to know that 4 types do have some strengths to go along with those weaknesses!

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