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  1. #71
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    maybe. I've become more free with age, though, and I expect the trend to continue...
    ]
    Yeah, I feel very happy but yet also very trapped in relationships. The 7 wing gives me "the grass is greener" mentality with everything. I hate it!

  2. #72
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Wow. I just 'happened upon' these posts in this thread... I'll try to respond throughout the day...sorry.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Oooh, interesting observation. Would you mind illustrating an example of this? I thought when Magic said he was more of a slave to his superego and was very critical of himself when he violated what he thought he ought to do it sounded very 1ish. Maybe it could be being social-dom and Fi, but I'm both of those things and I'm not like that at all. I let myself off too easy. Would it be a so/sp vs so/sx difference?

    Hmm? I get what you mean when you see that I'm holding tight at 7. Connecting with 5, while I acknowledge it as a step towards personal growth, also scares me because it feels like losing a part of myself and caving into all those people who constantly told me I need to focus myself and not be so irresponsible. I always loved that part of myself and don't want to lose it. But I don't see how I've disintegrated to 1 at all. If you could point me towards where areas where I seem disintegrated I'd really appreciate it because of course becoming less unhealthy is something that sounds desirable for me!
    I always forget to put in this disclaimer when talking about enneagram...that I do not see each individual's stress and integration point as 'either/or one-way destinations.' I basically forget that this isn't the common understanding of how the enneagram 'works.' For example, I do not believe unhealthy, stressed-out 7s will (only) make a connection to e1...while health is only possible once a connection to e5 is made. <-Not at all. I've seen e7s connected or not-connected between these 3 points in all kinds of crazy ways...sometimes mixing it up... making and breaking connections throughout the day haha.

    I've encountered a good number of e7s on this site that are connected to e5 in a negative way myself included. I'm not sure why this occurs or what factors make this kind of thing more likely... A couple of things I've noticed is yes, sp in the aux position always seems to show up...but also an 'over-idealism' and an inclination towards 'magical thinking' on the part of the 7 as well. Obviously, in the absence of scientific research on a theory that isn't even legitimized by spell-check haha...it is difficult to be sure. But this is what I recognize in myself and others like me. It's kinda like...the higher up you are the greater the pain of the fall. Once the *magic* gets ripped from them...when there's no more reason to 'live in abundance'...these guys can throw themselves into an unhealthy 'nihilism.' The superego-critical stuff is a byproduct of a shitty connection to 5 as far as I'm concerned. Die-hard believers in Neverland like @Magic Qwan and myself can start to feel ping-ponged back and forth between 'what we believe should be (what we previously believed in)' and 'what we fear is.' The two of us, however, are learning to uncover the beauty...which sucks because neither of us feel we should have to do work. Everything should work like...magic. duh.

    Many, if not most idk, 7s...do what I referred to as 'holding tight at 7.' They don't really demonstrate positive or negative behaviors considered to be e1 or e5 in nature...they're just the happy, go-lucky classic e7 we all recognize. <-Is this a good or bad thing? It would be difficult to know really without being on an intimate basis with the 7...but if Life doesn't tear you down and apart...if everything seems to be going swell for yah...I think 7 is a wonderful place to be (I'm on my way back to it having been gone for an extended journey )
    Likes Again_Chloe liked this post

  3. #73
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    soo curious to hear about where i am on the disintegration spectrum :X

    i tried to contain myself but i just really wanna know!
    You're a total mess. omg No haha. You are just the loveliest of human beings. Your feelings are as deep as the ocean...but I envy how you've retained a fairly practical edge...you do what you can to take things as they come and make sure to take away as much wisdom as possible from every lesson. You didn't stand at the beginning of your life like I apparently did and say "you know what I want? I want to live primarily in the world of imagination to insure all my lessons are hard, painful and seemingly come out of nowhere" haha. I see you getting a little ISTJ e1 all up in your ENFP e7 bsnss every once and awhile... over lost paperwork or socially 'inappropriate' ways to turn down dates to weddings (?)...but with the way the world is structured I'm not sure how that could have been/be avoided. We're just picking up where every single person we met in our formative years has left off... but for the most part you're doing e7 right and really making me look bad...all of you!

  4. #74
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    I certainly don't mistake that for wellbeing. I hate ruts.
    haha. I loved this. You and I should go into business together with a "ruts = bad livin" bumper sticker and of course...do a public school campaign as well. The *thorn* to this rose though...is that I fucked-up what I was saying. um where I said 'uneventful'... what I should have said was 'nothing especially tragic has happened to you recently...or possibly ever.'

    In other words, whether an individual's life has become routine or each day is entirely different from the one before...that doesn't really matter (wtf Starry? geez.) People mistake 'nothing massively shitty happening' for 'I am solid. I'm mentally healthy.' When you and I both know...they just haven't been tested.

    ^^I think a lot of things go wrong when people do this. Here though, I was trying to explain why it is so many "healthy" people give me that scary, hollow feeling (and as far as I'm concerned should be restricted by law from making self-help videos that I might accidentally check out from the library)...while so many people in pain and despair and hardship...seem quite solid.



    Oh and that about having a bad relationship with the husband, that does make some sense though, money isn't going to fix that sort of issue.
    ^^I think this is such a good point and not one that is lost to me... I disagree but acknowledge the above is considered a very healthy way of looking at these kinds of things. More people would/will agree with your statement above than what I will say and so I acknowledge that as well. And I'm multi-tasking here which is especially confusing. @gromit

    I had an ENFP supervisor that... one day had returned to our office after having been gone all morning visiting a friend of her's in the hospital that had terminal cancer. And she was a bit pale...she didn't say 'hi' or anything...she was just sorta sputtering all around kinda shaking and knocking shit over. So I was like 'wtf?' Basically, she was processing the embarrassment she felt over how many times she caught herself genuinely complaining about stuff that just... didn't... seem... all that tragic... once verbalized to someone dying in the hospital.

    Now, my supervisor did blurt-out an apology for her behavior...to which her friend responded by mentioning this sort of Zen-like ideology...this notion that "we can't judge another person's suffering" <-And since this time I have poured thousands of hours into the consideration of this one precept. Ultimately concluding that that is absolute bullshit haha.

    I mean, I think if you are dying in the hospital... listening to your friend discuss how she just can't recover from her last relationship that lasted 3 days...saying to yourself "we can't judge another person's suffering" is probably the smart thing to do. If, however, you have a difficult time seeing past your own narcissism...and one day find yourself complaining to a terminally ill person about men and work and 'just how hard you have it'...in my mind...that would be a very good time for you to begin judging other people's sufferings.

    Money can't solve this lady's problems. If she were to take a moment though to consider her situation... against say...the situations of the 18 homeless people living in dumpsters she passed on her way to her pedicure <-that might help. That's how her money can help ha.


    Do you see disintegration about me? 1 or 5? :P (7 vs 8) :P

    Oh my money's on 8 for you valaki don't you kinda think? I mean, I think what you've got listed is accurate...I get the sense you know yourself pretty damn well. And while I haven't had a lot of exposure to you on the site I believe what I have seen is very much in line with 5>8>2

  5. #75

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    I know this feeling pretty well and is not only about relationships, to be honest anything stereotypical and obligatory , somehow takes your freedom from you. This was the reason why I didn't want to be in a relationship 'till I was almost 20...I fear the obligations and unfreedom it brings.

  6. #76
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Wow. I just 'happened upon' these posts in this thread... I'll try to respond throughout the day...sorry.




    I always forget to put in this disclaimer when talking about enneagram...that I do not see each individual's stress and integration point as 'either/or one-way destinations.' I basically forget that this isn't the common understanding of how the enneagram 'works.' For example, I do not believe unhealthy, stressed-out 7s will (only) make a connection to e1...while health is only possible once a connection to e5 is made. <-Not at all. I've seen e7s connected or not-connected between these 3 points in all kinds of crazy ways...sometimes mixing it up... making and breaking connections throughout the day haha.

    I've encountered a good number of e7s on this site that are connected to e5 in a negative way myself included. I'm not sure why this occurs or what factors make this kind of thing more likely... A couple of things I've noticed is yes, sp in the aux position always seems to show up...but also an 'over-idealism' and an inclination towards 'magical thinking' on the part of the 7 as well. Obviously, in the absence of scientific research on a theory that isn't even legitimized by spell-check haha...it is difficult to be sure. But this is what I recognize in myself and others like me. It's kinda like...the higher up you are the greater the pain of the fall. Once the *magic* gets ripped from them...when there's no more reason to 'live in abundance'...these guys can throw themselves into an unhealthy 'nihilism.' The superego-critical stuff is a byproduct of a shitty connection to 5 as far as I'm concerned. Die-hard believers in Neverland like @Magic Qwan and myself can start to feel ping-ponged back and forth between 'what we believe should be (what we previously believed in)' and 'what we fear is.' The two of us, however, are learning to uncover the beauty...which sucks because neither of us feel we should have to do work. Everything should work like...magic. duh.

    Many, if not most idk, 7s...do what I referred to as 'holding tight at 7.' They don't really demonstrate positive or negative behaviors considered to be e1 or e5 in nature...they're just the happy, go-lucky classic e7 we all recognize. <-Is this a good or bad thing? It would be difficult to know really without being on an intimate basis with the 7...but if Life doesn't tear you down and apart...if everything seems to be going swell for yah...I think 7 is a wonderful place to be (I'm on my way back to it having been gone for an extended journey )
    wow.. story of my life...
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  7. #77
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    wow.. story of my life...
    haha. same.

  8. #78
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    haha. same.
    I wonder if I'm Sx/Sp, after all? I don't feel intense, but people who know me say I am. My values differ from my society radically, but I try to be as kind as I can...
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  9. #79
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    7's are so silly. They just need to take responsibility for themselves and communicate the need for a long leash. No one is a mind reader. I myself don't need a long leash but I need to not be manhandled. Every person (or type) just needs to know their needs and communicate them. Of course, I'm still learning so I suppose it's all relative to timing :p
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    haha. I loved this. You and I should go into business together with a "ruts = bad livin" bumper sticker and of course...do a public school campaign as well.
    Lol.


    ^^I think this is such a good point and not one that is lost to me... I disagree but acknowledge the above is considered a very healthy way of looking at these kinds of things. More people would/will agree with your statement above than what I will say and so I acknowledge that as well.

    Money can't solve this lady's problems. If she were to take a moment though to consider her situation... against say...the situations of the 18 homeless people living in dumpsters she passed on her way to her pedicure <-that might help. That's how her money can help ha.
    Yeah, well money would help with that, sure. I don't see how anyone would disagree on that one. Buuut, such a smart way of twisting this statement of mine into such a different direction Heheh.

    (Don't take that the wrong way, I don't have a problem with it :P )


    Oh my money's on 8 for you valaki don't you kinda think? I mean, I think what you've got listed is accurate...I get the sense you know yourself pretty damn well. And while I haven't had a lot of exposure to you on the site I believe what I have seen is very much in line with 5>8>2
    Lol I could know myself better. Anyway thanks for the opinion

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