I thought having an E6 as a boss was rough... having them as subordinates is just as bad! Its just fucking anxiety constantly. ANd they work their asses off to stave off the anxiety. And then as their boss who isn't a 6, I'm sitting calmly in my office meditating. They now talk behind my back about how lazy I am, or how they're worried about me because all I do is sit in my office being anxious! I'm not "Sitting in my office being anxious," I'm meditating and planning my next move, or enjoying some hot cocoa once in a while.
Its like they're completely fucking oblivious to the fact that other people don't have the same problems they do!
Its like, they are this self sufficient cloud of hell that supports itself and I need to just fucking get out of the way. But when I get out of the way, they think I'm no longer supporting them, so they take over and start doubting my leadership, and giving me that fucking "you left me out to die!" look on their face.
And I can't escape their anxiety. Working with them is completely miserable. If I move out of the house they live in, they visit me every day. If drive away in the car, they call my cell phone looking for validation on their decision!
"Just tell them to leave you alone." I did that. I saw pain in their eyes. And then several of them started badmouthing me about how "I just want to play CEO" and "I just wanna be this" and "I just wanna do that" or how i"m completely selfish.
I'm at a loss. I have no idea how to deal with these people anymore. This is miserable and I don't know how to fucking satisfy their expectations. It seems like whenever I give them something they just want more, and when I take it away, they stop working entirely.
*pulls hair out*
Please help. I feel like I'm supposed to completely ignore all emotions and thoughts running through their head and just do what I do and they will follow. I don't like it, but I'm starting to not take anything they think or feel seriously and view them as extremely predictable. Its like I'm this dude walking down the street and they're dancing around me waving their arms and poking me with sticks to see what I do. And it just never fucking ends. My full time job is to get poked with sticks from all directions. Unbelievable.