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  1. #1
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Default In need of advice: how do you get yourself focus?

    (Sorry if this has been done before)

    It's getting to the point where I'm turning in really low quality work for my classes because I spend so much more time goofing off that I start it really late and only due to a sense of urgency that I won't get enough time to sleep if I don't finish it right then and there.

    Even when I tell myself that I have to focus this time so I don't screw up, I checking back in on somewhere that I'm engaged in to see if anything new has happened (here, Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, etc). Then I end up thinking that doing one little thing won't hurt but eventually it piles up and then I'm up late at night miserable and stressed. And then I stay up even later to finish the work and sleep deprive myself by doing so.

    It's especially bad on YouTube because I'll suddenly remember a video (usually Kelly Clarkson-related) that I wanted to look up a while ago but forgot to and then I spend time watching videos. Today I spent time watching this really funny and cute couple playing video games. It was fun to watch but now I'm kind of regretting it. Also I'm taking time out of my work to make this thread haha...

    Also this is kind of more of a 7 so/sx-ish question (mentioning @skylights because of the 7 wing and @EJCC because of the 7 soul child) but how do you pass up on social activities even though it could cause you inconveniences in the future? On Sunday I turned in really horrible work because I got a last minute invite to go with some friends to visit the Metropolitan Museum. On a much smaller scale, even someone messaging me on Skype or on the phone can be distracting (damn you @Elfboy!) but I don't want to log off or turn off my phone because I might miss out on something important. So the whole social realm of my life can be really pulling me away from responsibilities I should really be taking care of.

    Listening to music to help me zone out tends to work the opposite direction because I end up singing, dancing, or staring off into the night lights thinking my life, what I want from it, and what's in store for it. As an alternative I'm hoping listening to this will help: http://coffitivity.com/

    Or maybe that website that loops Animal Crossing music, with the song depending on the hour.

    Oh god tangents.

    Anyway thanks for listening!
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  2. #2
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    so. hard.

    headphones help me a lot, but not always. i go somewhere a lot of the time, to a coffee shop or something to do work. it helps me to be somewhere else all set up. um, turning things off actually does not help me because i start to feel like i don't have escapes if i need one. really just getting myself on a roll however i can, taking breaks to talk to people or do whatever throughout, and trudging through is the best i've got.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  3. #3
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    so. hard.

    headphones help me a lot, but not always. i go somewhere a lot of the time, to a coffee shop or something to do work. it helps me to be somewhere else all set up. um, turning things off actually does not help me because i start to feel like i don't have escapes if i need one. really just getting myself on a roll however i can, taking breaks to talk to people or do whatever throughout, and trudging through is the best i've got.
    Hmm, going to a coffee shop on campus and doing work there doesn't sound like a bad idea. Then I could get my work done during the day too so my nights would be free! As for headphones, right now the AC site has been helping (although I'm posting here to be fair hehe).

    I appreciate the ideas, Nic. Hopefully I'll be able to find a way that works.

    @Starry, how much adjustment time did you need after you started going off to school on your own? I'm used to my ENFJ mom constantly nagging me to do it. While I resented it at the time, I almost sort of miss it now because it kept me in line. Now I have so much freedom I'm becoming too loose for my own good.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  4. #4
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    This is my life. I'm not a 7, but I have been dealing with ADHD for 21 years so I can definitely relate. Setting deadlines for myself helps a lot. So does going to coffee shops. For some reason I can NOT focus in my apartment. But yeah, goals really help, so do rewards. Like, after two pages you can watch an episode of Friends, sort of thing.

    I have also just accepted that I need breaks. Ooh, my INFP 4w3 friend has a horrible time with procrastinating so she makes me change her Facebook password for when she needs to stuff done.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

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  5. #5
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    First realize that kelly clarkson is not that talented then you have more time for video game videos.

    Also people with Ne can learn to focus by using long term repetition.

  6. #6
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    First realize that kelly clarkson is not that talented then you have more time for video game videos.

    Also people with Ne can learn to focus by using long term repetition.
    I'm guessing you mean that you think subjectively Kelly Clarkson is not that talented, because objectively she is very skilled as a vocalist. Good job for basically just telling me to waste my time somewhere else instead of actually giving me a productive answer though.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  7. #7
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    @Starry, how much adjustment time did you need after you started going off to school on your own? I'm used to my ENFJ mom constantly nagging me to do it. While I resented it at the time, I almost sort of miss it now because it kept me in line. Now I have so much freedom I'm becoming too loose for my own good.
    I kinda feel all warm and happy inside in the knowing that you saw me as an individual that may possibly have an enlightened response to the above... But the truth of it is... I'm the last person that can assist you in this regard. Relatively speaking haha...I don't provide a lot of concrete details about my life...for a few reasons including being completely unable to explain how it was even intellectually possible for me type myself as anything other than e7.

    Have you seen the movie Braveheart? I don't really know all of what went on in that film haha...but the end scene... they have Wallace on the rack. And there's a pause because the English councilmen believe they have convinced him to admit to treason. What he actually says though is...'more weight.' <-That's me. To this day I have made no adjustments because I don't feel I should have to for a structure I do not believe in in the first place.

    I dropped out of University when I was 18 after the first quarter. And each day thereafter I would get up and say..."what do I want to do today?" I have travelled all over the world. I have already crammed 4 lifetimes or so into my one. I have had the most amazing experiences, beautiful experiences...breathtaking... I wouldn't even know where to begin...I don't know how I've been so fortunate. But yah...I took the whole carpe diem thing literally. And I have had so much fun and regret nothing. There's a price though to being as rebellious as I am...that I can't imagine you being willing to pay social dom But I love you for temporarily believing I was an upstanding citizen that actually owns some sort of timepiece

    You should invoke the power of the Sun God though... and ask @Halla74 if he has any suggestions. I've learned so much from his wisdom.

    edit: I should say that I did go back to University and earned my degrees. I just am one of those people...so determined not to have structure...I think I just taught myself how to absorb learning. I am one of those students that never studied or read or bought books even. I excelled in learning environments. Just not in the corporate one apparently

  8. #8
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Showbread View Post
    This is my life. I'm not a 7, but I have been dealing with ADHD for 21 years so I can definitely relate.
    My ESFJ bestie I told you about has ADHD too! This is cray.

    Setting deadlines for myself helps a lot.
    Ahh, see my problem is that I do set mental deadlines for myself but I end up extending them due to laziness. So really the real deadline is when I realize it's late so I have to start my work to get the minimal amount of proper sleep.

    So does going to coffee shops. For some reason I can NOT focus in my apartment.
    Focusing in my room can be so hard because there's so much at my disposal! I actually went to get coffee today actually and finished all my work before dinner. It was probably the greatest feeling of relief I've ever felt in a long time. Relaxation is the greatest.

    I have also just accepted that I need breaks. Ooh, my INFP 4w3 friend has a horrible time with procrastinating so she makes me change her Facebook password for when she needs to stuff done.
    Wait, that's an AMAZING idea. I'll have to have my friend do this for me and Tumblr/YouTube. Thanks for the advice I'm totally doing this in the future!

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I kinda feel all warm and happy inside in the knowing that you saw me as an individual that may possibly have an enlightened response to the above... But the truth of it is... I'm the last person that can assist you in this regard. Relatively speaking haha...I don't provide a lot of concrete details about my life...for a few reasons including being completely unable to explain how it was even intellectually possible for me type myself as anything other than e7.

    Have you seen the movie Braveheart? I don't really know all of what went on in that film haha...but the end scene... they have Wallace on the rack. And there's a pause because the English councilmen believe they have convinced him to admit to treason. What he actually says though is...'more weight.' <-That's me. To this day I have made no adjustments because I don't feel I should have to for a structure I do not believe in in the first place.

    I dropped out of University when I was 18 after the first quarter. And each day thereafter I would get up and say..."what do I want to do today?" I have travelled all over the world. I have already crammed 4 lifetimes or so into my one. I have had the most amazing experiences, beautiful experiences...breathtaking... I wouldn't even know where to begin...I don't know how I've been so fortunate. But yah...I took the whole carpe diem thing literally. And I have had so much fun and regret nothing. There's a price though to being as rebellious as I am...that I can't imagine you being willing to pay social dom But I love you for temporarily believing I was an upstanding citizen that actually owns some sort of timepiece

    You should invoke the power of the Sun God though... and ask @Halla74 if he has any suggestions. I've learned so much from his wisdom.
    Awww, that's admirable though. I've always dreamed of exploring the world and living millions of lifetimes in one. Hopefully I'll be able to do that someday, but you're right. I have people I want to keep in touch with and people I want to stick around with me. Especially in college when no one is really close with each other yet, I don't want to leave while everyone else is around making new friendships. I'll be left behind and then I won't find a good friend here on my own! But especially the freedom of waking up and having endless possibilities of things to do without limitations. I'm really jealous on that part. At least on weekends I have that.

    And asking Halla's a great idea. Waiting on his feedback now.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  9. #9
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    My ESFJ bestie I told you about has ADHD too! This is cray.
    WEIRD! That is super crazy. I wish I had an ENFP bestie, then it would just be ridiculous. But, my besties are ISFJ and INFP.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

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  10. #10
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Awww, that's admirable though. I've always dreamed of exploring the world and living millions of lifetimes in one. Hopefully I'll be able to do that someday, but you're right. I have people I want to keep in touch with and people I want to stick around with me. Especially in college when no one is really close with each other yet, I don't want to leave while everyone else is around making new friendships. I'll be left behind and then I won't find a good friend here on my own! But especially the freedom of waking up and having endless possibilities of things to do without limitations. I'm really jealous on that part. At least on weekends I have that.

    And asking Halla's a great idea. Waiting on his feedback now.
    Umm sure it's admirable haha. I mean, it's sometimes difficult for me to access these understandings of myself in my mind...but the qualities I possess that allowed me to do what I did/do...I know I value these very much. But I'm so impressed with you.

    Perhaps it is the case I've completely forgotten what I was like when I was your age... but I really don't think I was as mature and self-aware as you are today.

    Anyway, there's so much more I could say but I'm running out the door. I just needed to turn over this idea/suggestion to you before it was lost.
    I know there are apps that you can program...that may in fact function similar to an ENFJ Mom (I believe they are for individuals with ADD maybe? Have you heard of these? Shit I need one. Perhaps we should develop an app together called 'the ENFJ Mom.')

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