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  1. #1
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    Default 4s and the fantasy self

    I have a 4 in my tritype and this has been bothering me. Is it better to try and live up to the fantasy self or let it go? Is the fantasy self your purpose or an illusion? What happens when you live up to the fantasy self? Do you just create another one? What has your experience been?

  2. #2
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    @Standuble This might be an interesting topic for you to discuss with badger.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I can't imagine not chasing something in my life. But inevitably I catch it and then I don't feel as near as fulfilled as I expected, and I find some other dream to chase. But, I so far have always ended up for the better, though never feeling complete.

    I'm not sure there's really any other way to do this. I do often take the time to try to be happy with myself as I am, if not just for a day.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    @badger055

    I'm no longer a core 4...but it's still a strong second fix. I do have the idealized self-image of which you speak, as well as an utter inability to realize this outside my imagination. It's probably better to let it go and just build your real-world skills, although this is easier said than done, obviously. The discrepencies do create shame and self-loathing, and hence, suffering. So clearly it isn't really to our benefit.

    I don't think I've ever truly lived up to my "fantasy self", though I am prone to taking on different identities depending on my mood.

  5. #5
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't experience it as a goal. It's more like "me if I actually lived" or "me if the world appreciated someone like me".
    For a 4, it's a way to boost the ego, which is strange for us, because our ego is based on a poor self image, an idea of being broken or insignificant. So as we continually fall short of the impossible dream, it feeds our ego!

    I have never lived up to my fantasy self...or selves I should say. It's not like there is one at a time.
    But when I have crafted an image which is regarded as something close, I do a nasty thing to myself. I devalue it. Now it means nothing. I discover an insight that this is really some shallow crap. I see a 5ish-ness here in myself in the devaluing things to the point of meaninglessnes. It also demotivates & gives me reason to not pursue fantasies. I think 3 wingers wake up with a disillusionment, realizing the fantasy was less motivated by their own desires than external concepts they internalized as able to give them "significance".

    In short - the fantasy self is not merely a "goal self". Real goals involve plans & actions & increments of progress. This is about image & how you see yourself, not accomplishing stuff so much.


    As a side...

    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  6. #6
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    It can be painful to try and turn the real world into the fantasy, and you'll never make it, as it needs editing. In the end, it becomes a hybrid of fantasy and reality and if you've done your job correctly, it surpasses both. I find that I first need to just acknowledge the fantasy for what it is: a fantasy. Then I need to say goodbye in it and sort of grieve its loss to then devalue it, like OrangeAppled said, by realising that as beautiful as it is, it's just one of many fantasies in the world and there is more to life than the world I created. After that, it becomes an idea I can play with and edit without feeling like my soul is being cut to pieces. I start thinking of it as a muse, an inspirational source to improve the real world with. After that, it's just a matter of implementing the idea

    It's kind of like writing a novel: research and mentally put together your world (creation of fantasy), write the draft for yourself (manifestation of fantasy world), then kill your darlings and rewrite the story, restructure, and adapt the prose to maximise the impact on your audience to tailor your world to them (idea restructuring and seeing how it would be perceived by others and work in the real world).
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    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    I have a 4 in my tritype and this has been bothering me. Is it better to try and live up to the fantasy self or let it go? Is the fantasy self your purpose or an illusion? What happens when you live up to the fantasy self? Do you just create another one? What has your experience been?
    you have a double dose of it being core 7 (speaking from experience)
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I can't imagine not chasing something in my life. But inevitably I catch it and then I don't feel as near as fulfilled as I expected, and I find some other dream to chase. But, I so far have always ended up for the better, though never feeling complete.
    This is how it is for me. It's like if I complete this quest I get 5% fulfillment. But it seems like the more impossible the quest the more fulfillment I get.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I realize the contradiction here, but I'm kind of sick about talking about my 4-ness.
    I'm sure it will pass and all will return to normal fascination with self, but right now it's just

    Every time I see a new 4 thread, I'm thinking, "How much more can be said?!". Anyone else?
    You again with your passive aggressiveness. If you don't like my thread then don't post in it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It's kind of like writing a novel: research and mentally put together your world (creation of fantasy)
    I like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    you have a double dose of it being core 7 (speaking from experience)
    Yea definitely and 7s need to turn things into reality. A fantasy that can't be realized is worthless to me.

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Then you like step 1

    Don't expect it to translate to an end-product though, without going through the other steps, as that will crush your spirit
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  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    You again with your passive aggressiveness. If you don't like my thread then don't post in it.
    It wasn't a criticism of your thread. I was honestly asking other 4s about it. It was not directed at YOU.

    I don't recognize you as a poster, but I'm happy to avoid your threads from now should I remember you exist.
    I spent time & energy creating a thoughtful response. If you don't like it, then don't read or respond to it either.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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