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  1. #21
    Senior Member NK258's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    I have a 4 in my tritype and this has been bothering me. Is it better to try and live up to the fantasy self or let it go? Is the fantasy self your purpose or an illusion? What happens when you live up to the fantasy self? Do you just create another one? What has your experience been?
    I personally do not believe you can switch your core fix. Nor do I think it's of any benefit to live up to your fantasy self. If you mean rather, your ideal potential you seek to achieve, go for it. If you mean you daydream an image of who you think you are, and are afraid to embrace the fact that you are not this person, I suggest you push through it. My closest friend is a 4 with a strong 5 wing. She has grown to be a more secure individual and has grown to be more authentic (which is something she's demanded primarily of others most her life) by accepting she is who she is, and not the fantasy she construes to feel safe and more secure. There is false inner security, and true inner security. The latter of which takes work to accumulate. If it wasn't work. It wouldn't be worth much now would it.

    My apologies if I misunderstood what you were asking here.
    6w7 Sx/Sp (621 or 612. Same diff :p).

  2. #22
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    I have a 4 in my tritype and this has been bothering me. Is it better to try and live up to the fantasy self or let it go? Is the fantasy self your purpose or an illusion? What happens when you live up to the fantasy self? Do you just create another one? What has your experience been?
    I think it is better to let your fantasy self go,as I believe they are an illusion,at least for me.My last fantasy self was tough,rebellious, and brave,although I know I shouldn't I pretend to be like her,she's the face I try to show to the world,despite myself.In reality I'm quite the opposite of her.I don't think I'll ever really be like her.

    When I try to live up to my fantasy self,I fool myself along with everyone else,thinking maybe this is who I really am?Later,I realize I had just been pretending,and am filled with disappointment,but despite this I keep pretending for a bit,because it felt nice to be that way for a while.

    I also feel disappointed that everyone believed me so well,why doesn't anyone see the real me not even myself?At the same time,I'm glad everyone bought it,I don't want them to see the real me.

    This part of myself honestly disgusts me.

    I change fantasy selves every once in a while,not because I have lived up to them,but because I have come to admire a different set of traits and I want to try them on for size,it's a never ending cycle of toxicity.That way maybe I have been what I currently admire all along?My current self/fantasy-self is aloof on the outside and an ultra-sensitive marshmallow on the inside.I think this is the real me?But then again I thought that about all of them,so maybe not...

    Eventually bits and pieces of my past fantasy selves become reincarnated into what I assume to be my actual personality?

    Seriously,trying to reach for my actual self(whoever the hell that may be) through the sea of my fantasy selves makes me feel nuts,like I have too many facets,like I want to be everything at once,even when certain traits conflict with one another.I want to be/pretend to be strong yet gentle,blunt yet tactful,tough yet feminine,mysterious yet charming,etc.It drives me nuts.

    Honestly at this point I have no idea who the hell I even am anymore.

  3. #23
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It can be painful to try and turn the real world into the fantasy, and you'll never make it, as it needs editing. In the end, it becomes a hybrid of fantasy and reality and if you've done your job correctly, it surpasses both. I find that I first need to just acknowledge the fantasy for what it is: a fantasy. Then I need to say goodbye in it and sort of grieve its loss to then devalue it, like OrangeAppled said, by realising that as beautiful as it is, it's just one of many fantasies in the world and there is more to life than the world I created. After that, it becomes an idea I can play with and edit without feeling like my soul is being cut to pieces. I start thinking of it as a muse, an inspirational source to improve the real world with. After that, it's just a matter of implementing the idea

    It's kind of like writing a novel: research and mentally put together your world (creation of fantasy), write the draft for yourself (manifestation of fantasy world), then kill your darlings and rewrite the story, restructure, and adapt the prose to maximise the impact on your audience to tailor your world to them (idea restructuring and seeing how it would be perceived by others and work in the real world
    ).
    Sorry for the thread necro...was following this thread for something else & felt compelled to comment.
    Just D@mn but you're mature about this. Consider yourself *highly* commended.
    Signed, a robot who merely wishes he had the ability to write novels...
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  4. #24
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsunderes View Post
    I think it is better to let your fantasy self go,as I believe they are an illusion,at least for me.My last fantasy self was tough,rebellious, and brave,although I know I shouldn't I pretend to be like her,she's the face I try to show to the world,despite myself.In reality I'm quite the opposite of her.I don't think I'll ever really be like her.

    When I try to live up to my fantasy self,I fool myself along with everyone else,thinking maybe this is who I really am?Later,I realize I had just been pretending,and am filled with disappointment,but despite this I keep pretending for a bit,because it felt nice to be that way for a while.

    I also feel disappointed that everyone believed me so well,why doesn't anyone see the real me not even myself?At the same time,I'm glad everyone bought it,I don't want them to see the real me.

    This part of myself honestly disgusts me.

    I change fantasy selves every once in a while,not because I have lived up to them,but because I have come to admire a different set of traits and I want to try them on for size,it's a never ending cycle of toxicity.That way maybe I have been what I currently admire all along?My current self/fantasy-self is aloof on the outside and an ultra-sensitive marshmallow on the inside.I think this is the real me?But then again I thought that about all of them,so maybe not...

    Eventually bits and pieces of my past fantasy selves become reincarnated into what I assume to be my actual personality?

    Seriously,trying to reach for my actual self(whoever the hell that may be) through the sea of my fantasy selves makes me feel nuts,like I have too many facets,like I want to be everything at once,even when certain traits conflict with one another.I want to be/pretend to be strong yet gentle,blunt yet tactful,tough yet feminine,mysterious yet charming,etc.It drives me nuts.

    Honestly at this point I have no idea who the hell I even am anymore.
    Sorry for the thread necro, but about the sentence bolded above...
    You just described *me*. INTJ 5w4 at your service.
    It really does exist, it's not a .

    Whether or not such is the best "real" or even the best "current" description of your true self, you will know far better than I.
    But *I'm* stuck with it.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  5. #25
    WhoCares
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    I've become my fantasy self at least three times over, each time the reality creates a larger discrepancy than the fantasy ever did. For once you acheive what you thought would make you feel complete you realise you are emptier than before. That sense of completeness never comes then, it's....oh! But I forgot about that *chases shiny new concept*.

  6. #26
    Junior Member Paige93701's Avatar
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    I am another number four I use my "fantasy" versions of myself which are kind of like different sides to my personality or ways in which I want to be perceived as characters in my writing.

  7. #27

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    I'm a 4w5. The fantasy self for me is a constantly changing persona. Never static. I can jump from one character to the next pretty quick, but wonder how to lasso in the real me
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