User Tag List

First 234

Results 31 to 35 of 35

  1. #31
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    whatup
    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    So are you trying to say you're out of touch with your instincts and impulses?

    What are your filters like?
    Sometimes I'm out of touch. As either an analogy or example--at around 2:30 yesterday, I realized that I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch. 'Magically,' when I ate something, I was more energetic and focused. I didn't feel the impulse to eat. Whoops

    But more often it's not that I'm out of touch with them, but that I act (or at least try to) upon them in a more controlled manner. I'm a step removed from instincts and impulses. The instincts and impulses suggest, really, what it is that I want to do, what I actually think, which course of action to take, and so on. To me, they're kinda useless and unwelcome in and of themselves.

    I also don't mean an outward filter, necessarily. It's a matter of self-control because.. well, I regard control of the self as a good thing.

    A visceral grudge toward someone, for example, is simply an indication that I should stay away from them; and I then act upon that indication rather than the grudge itself directly. As another, an outburst (that of mine or others) typically has a 'reason,' in that it simply wraps a message in a way that conveys visceral urgency. That urgency is either because the message is felt to be important, but it can also be seen as harsh or, even worse, outright childish and ridiculous. Bam, the filter is there--it's simply reasoning and control. If I want to convey urgency, or if I want to create distance between myself and another, I know how to do it.

    At the extremes, the filters don't kick in all the way. It's not often either that I bottle things up over time and then release them all in a torrent, though; anger etc. is something that's triggered in the moment.

    'course, all of this doesn't apply 100% of the time. To the extent that it's something that I can't do, I at least try to do it.
    What do you do when you actually do get angry, I'm sure it sometimes happens? Do you filter that through something too? How?
    I definitely do, typically out of a lack of patience; typically in turn lack of patience for things that are outside of my control.

    The filter's the same as above--stemming a recognition that anger is simply an indicator of something. Anger itself is often said to be a secondary emotion; it in turn is a reaction to an emotion of fear or hurt.

  2. #32
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    SeNi
    Enneagram
    8+7 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SeTi
    Posts
    940

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by garbage View Post
    whatup

    (...)
    I see. Interesting. Yes you sound very conscious of er, your stuff.

  3. #33
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    976

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    You really think you know my entire communication style from a few posts in one single thread?

    As for 8w9, I don't relate to the descriptions I read, I'm not THAT introverted. If you got a good one, sure, I'll read it and see.
    Nope, I actually checked out a couple other threads you recently posted in (this one specifically) to check myself before I wrote that. Even so, of course I don't know your "entire communication style", just the way it feels. The last thing I ever want to do is tell someone what type they are or are not. Still, I'm pretty free with my observations and find no need to sugar coat.

    My 8w9 question was just that, not an assigning of the type to yourself. I can see from your response that despite the soft vibe I get from you, you are indeed reactive! Haha.

    8w9 is not necessarily more introverted than 8w7 actually. Both wings could be an extrovert or an introvert, as aforementioned. The distinction is often made in terms of "lightweight" (8w7) who jabs quick and sharp with long endurance, and heavyweight (8w9) slower to anger, who preserves their energy for one powerful motion. Both are capable of serious destruction, they just approach it with different energy. Also in regards to anxiety/high energy: 8w7 can almost quiver with energy/anticipation, I've witnessed this in my Dad even in physically (it's like he's wired, that's the 7). 8w9 on the other hand has been said to be the least anxious type because of the tranquility that 9 brings to the picture.

    This is the best description I could find so far on the internet via this thread:

    The traits of the Eight and those of the Nine are in some degree of conflict with each other. The Eight tends toward assertiveness and taking on challenges and conflicts, whereas the Nine tends toward the suppression of aggression and the avoidance of conflicts and upset. Eights with a Nine-wing enjoy their comfort and peace, and tend to be much more domestic than Eights with a Seven-wing, but still make it clear to all in their sphere that they are in control. Depending on the Nine-wing's strength, individuals of this subtype are somewhat more oriented to people more easily and with less confrontational or aggressive undertones. They still get things done their way, but more likely with a soft, firm voice and more casual demeanor. They are also less self-assertive, exuding an aura of quiet strength and of power held in reserve. In general, this is a less openly aggressive overall personality pattern, although since Eight is the basic type, persons of this subtype can still be quite aggressive, especially when they need to be. They tend to maintain a “poker face” with others, somewhat stolid and impassive, although when aroused they can suddenly become passionate and angry. Like Nines, Eights with a Nine-wing are often unaware of their own strength or the force of their anger. Noteworthy examples of this subtype include Martin Luther King, Jr., Golda Meir, Janet Reno, Charles de Gaulle, Indira Gandhi, Pablo Picasso, Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, John Huston, Robert Altman, Barbara Stanwyck, John Wayne, Charlton Heston, Johnny Cash, Fidel Castro, Leonid Brezhnev, “Darth Vader,” “King Lear,” and “Don Vito Corleone.”

    Healthy persons of this subtype possess a quiet power and an understated wisdom. They are strategic planners like the other subtype, but tend to be more steady and inexorable in the execution of their goals. They are not easily perturbed, and are noticeably more at ease with themselves and with other people, not feeling that they must assert themselves at every moment or in every situation. There is less of a wheeler-dealer quality than in the Eight with a Seven-wing, although Eights with a Nine-wing also prefer to run their own enterprises. They are, at times, more open to concerns beyond their immediate self-interest, particularly those involving members of their own family. They are the kinder, more benign patresfamilias or matriarchs, strong-willed but mild-mannered, who tend to assert leadership more through support and protectiveness. Eights with a Nine-wing are able to forge a personal, almost mystical bond between themselves and others. They may be involved with the arts, nature, animals, and children.

    Average people of this subtype begin to show a definite split between the two sides of themselves – the aggressive side (which they show in public and in competitive situations) and the passive, more accommodating side (which they reveal to very few, principally their families). The discrepancies in their attitudes toward people can be striking – warm and affectionate at home, hard-nosed and aggressive at work. People of this subtype usually do not seek publicity actively, and like to live quietly, privately, and unobtrusively, preferring to control their affairs from behind the scenes. Their expansive forcefulness is grounded on some inner fortress of imperturbable strength which others are not allowed to breach. This inner sanctum is undisturbed and at peace, although it is doubtful that people of this subtype benefit from that inner part of themselves as much as they might. Others often experience this quality in them as a form of stubbornness and an ability to turn out anxieties. Since Eight is the basic personality type, people of this subtype dominate others, although with a velvet glove over an iron fist. There is a sly, watchful quality in average Eights with a Nine-wing – as if they are daring others to underestimate them. They tend to speak more slowly, but are attuned to the nonverbal cues and body language of the people around them. They can seem friendly and agreeable while secretly sizing people up and assessing their character. In the lower levels, Eights with a Nine-wing more from stubbornness to a quietly menacing quality. However, their moods and reactions tend to be unpredictable. They can be intimidating and belligerent, and then accommodating and kindhearted, especially to those who are close to them.. Those around them are never quite sure when their explosive tempers are going to erupt.

    Unhealthy Eights with a Nine-wing become reclusive, depressed, and dissociated, but if they have access to power, they can also be extremely vengeful. Since this subtype is almost immune from anxiety, unhealthy Eights with a Nine-wing can be destructive without remorse, combining ruthlessness with indifference. They can get into a strangely dissociated frame of mind, acting in a depersonalized way, as if they were some sort of cosmic force which swatted people aside, crushing them without personal feelings entering the picture. People in this subtype tend, in general, to be less violent and destructive than those in the other subtype. However, if necessary they may be violent toward others, personally regretting the suffering they cause but not feeling any empathy or having any real understanding of what they do. They may make up for the lesser degree of violence they wreak on the environment by generally living longer, thus possibly doing more damage in the long run to those who have the misfortune to live with them.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  4. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    SeNi
    Enneagram
    8+7 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SeTi
    Posts
    940

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    (...)
    I will reply in my type thread that you referenced, it's getting too off topic here

  5. #35
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    576

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    My avatar illustrates how i often feel when I'm around strangers. I feel like a husk. People attack me and my defense mechanism is to simply ignore it. This often makes them angrier. Yet at the same time, this also makes me extremely difficult to read. I delete the human inside, and people cannot judge or understand me and become reliant solely on what I tell them, which in most cases is nothing. I become very silent around strangers.
    I was thinking about this today. I realized I sort of do this but not as extreme. I don't feel like a husk but when someone attacks me I kind of dissociate from the person they are attacking like it's not me. They are just looking at one image/version of me like a decoy and the real me is standing in the distance. Then I can mock them for thinking they know me. I think it's a 4w3/3w4 fix thing.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Commonalities/differences between ENFP and ENFJ
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 09-23-2015, 02:35 PM
  2. The difference between Freedom and Tolerance?
    By Kiddo in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-05-2008, 06:18 PM
  3. What's the difference between meritocracy and technocracy?
    By Ezra in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-04-2008, 07:21 AM
  4. Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-08-2007, 08:30 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO