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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post

    Also if you think about it, in order for 5 to integrate to 8 they have to come out into the light of day a bit. They still maintain their independance, but in a healthy way that does involve other people.
    i was afraid you were going to say that.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    i was afraid you were going to say that.
    That's why charity work, or anything that involves directly helping people, is so good for the INTP.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux View Post
    Work, however, must have enough pros to keep you there of course, a job that makes you feel dead is never worth it.
    I'm not convinced my work does make me feel dead, not yet anyway. But then does one really need to feel dead before you make a timely move? I think my w6 is overplaying the security in keeping the job aspect. Lets face it its nice to have some focus in your life even if it is just a mundane job and regular paychecks are a nice security blanket too. If only I could manage both the rural and city lifestyles together.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal12345 View Post
    That's why charity work, or anything that involves directly helping people, is so good for the INTP.
    I can see how that helps someone who otherwise doesnt work with people. I already work in a direct people contact profession so I get a humanity overkill most days. I don't hate it but I am on the receiving end of a lot of rude behaviour and tantrums most of the day. To see people with no resilience for the unexpected lost their shit over trivia all day long leaves me feeling like humanity isn't a worthwhile thing. Hence my people aversion these days.

  5. #15
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    I can see how that helps someone who otherwise doesnt work with people. I already work in a direct people contact profession so I get a humanity overkill most days. I don't hate it but I am on the receiving end of a lot of rude behaviour and tantrums most of the day. To see people with no resilience for the unexpected lost their shit over trivia all day long leaves me feeling like humanity isn't a worthwhile thing. Hence my people aversion these days.
    This is exactly why charity or volunteer work is wonderful (for everyone in my opinion), because it's the very thing that can restore the hope in humanity you've lost through rough experiences at work and in life.

    Both the people you serve and those who volunteer along side of you can be such a huge blessing and soul quench. You truly have to try it to understand.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Both the people you serve and those who volunteer along side of you can be such a huge blessing and soul quench. You truly have to try it to understand.
    I dont believe I said I hadnt. I've done my time volunteering in charitable works and it just made me frustrated to be honest. Sorry but I dont agree its the panacea for failing to love humanity. In any case this is a digression. Back to what I'm going to do with my life.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I don't think you'll be able to run the rat race forever. The very fact that you're asking this question shows that you're making progress towards focusing more on your own dreams--which you may not even recognize at this point.
    I think you are right but I also get confused about what are my authentic desires and what is overshadowing by others. I've had a history of just doing stuff because others in my life were doing it. Now whenever I see an interest I have in common with the ominous negative forces in my life I wonder if its really my dream. The other habit I have is railing against said individuals by not doing certain things just because they approve. I want to get far enough away so I'm aking deisions without their influence.

  8. #18
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    I think you are right but I also get confused about what are my authentic desires and what is overshadowing by others. I've had a history of just doing stuff because others in my life were doing it. Now whenever I see an interest I have in common with the ominous negative forces in my life I wonder if its really my dream. The other habit I have is railing against said individuals by not doing certain things just because they approve. I want to get far enough away so I'm aking deisions without their influence.
    I actually have that same urge. I've even taken it to extremes, cutting myself off from things like TV and readings and isolating myself for months. It's an experience I wrote about a lot here, actually. I was a meditation junkie for a long time, wanting to somehow transcend all influences on my mind.. I'd spend days pacing and lying around in bed...

    These days instead of laying in bed thinking miserable thoughts and wondering about my life, I just try to absorb myself in something, whatever will keep my mind engaged and away from dead-end thoughts. Like I've said usually that is just plain reading, but I also enjoy exercise and hanging out with a particularly good friend. But I dunno. Whatever works for me probably wouldn't work for others, and hell it might not even work for me. I have yet to find a way to survive, I'm coasting on savings. They'll last a while, and I'm gambling on some changes happening in that time.

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    Not a 5, but I've long asked myself the same questions. I wound up wandering the world, whoring out my English language skills to get by. It's not perfect, but it's more meaningful that middle-class life in a developed country, anyway.

    I suck at dealing with people, btw, so I just sort of lecture and then go do my own thing afterward. It usually doesn't involve people, it usually involves learning stuff.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    more meaningful that middle-class life in a developed country, anyway.
    You've verbalised my core fear. Your post haunted me all night, that's what I'm running from. The lifeless ordinary. To live that house in the burbs life is like being a member of the undead. I was offered an overtime duty today that would have seen me pocket an extra $600 for the week after tax. I turned it down, clearly money alone is no motivator for me. Its a just a necessary evil.

    Back to @Lux, post...brainstorming. There's a shitload of things I could do, even things I'm interested in. There is no end to the things that interest me. But for now I'll focus on the things I already know I can do....

    Writing - I've already proven I can focus long enough to complete an entire novel. Already written one from start to finish and it only took me 3 months working about 1hr a day. The kicker for me here has always been topic. Fiction plots are kind of hard to come by, especially with my lazy focus right now. I dont think I can write non-fiction because I tend to be verbose and preachey when talking about reality. Like most INTJs actually. Its only when I am searching for a lyrical way to depict a scene that my writing has any life at all. Fiction it must be.

    Comedy - difficult to believe but I am skilled at this and I like performing. But my comedy only works in a live format. I can't seem to get the same punch via written language. A lot of my comedy comes down to situation context and facial expressions. In writing the same joke just sounds bitchy. Possibly why I come off on here the way I do, extremely darkminded and jaded. The thing is my comedy is industry specific, I can have other people in my industry laughing because they are exposed to the same things I am and get it. I'm not so sure the general public would.

    Music - I play an instrument. Its such a soul soother to play. I also love to compose although I'm an absolute retard with musical notation I have a good ear. i cant claim to be skilled at my instrument because I tend to just tinker rather than seriously develop skill. But I am a very fast learner and could develop my skill given enough focus. I never had the oppotunity to learn an instrument of my choice as a child but went right out and bought my beloved instrument as an adult. Refusing to let lack of opportunity hold me back. I will never part with it now.

    Art - I can use pastel, watercolour and acrylics with some degree of skill and I love to create beauty. Although I have to say by far metalwork is my favourite medium. I love creating tiny things in metal, hence the reason why I went ahead and did a jewellery course. I have all the equipment and even sold my work for a period of time. It became frustrating to me though when my art became about production and number of pieces sold. I just loved the act of turning bits of metal into beautiful things. I love to sit at a bench for hours rearranging bits of metal into complex filigree. I love soldering them and then spending hours polishing something into a high luster. I loved sitting there sanding the metal by hand until it took on a glassy facade and I was teaching myself chasing as well. I made all my own chasing tools and enjoyed the methodical process of hammering out shapes in sheet. Long tedious processes is what I enjoy most. I can lose myself for days in them. I especially wanted to emulate ancient celtic art and jewellery works which to this day amaze me with their skill in both design and execution. I still wish to attain that level of mastery with basic tools.

    Sewing - I've sewn since I was 8, but its only in the past few years I taut myself pattern making and am now free to design anything I choose. I do create a lot of my own clothes. I'm most fascinated by hisntorical wear though and a lot of my clothes are modern adaptations of historical garb. For example I'm creating a bunch of shirts for myself out of silk voile based loosely on elizabethan shirts. They have modern sleeves and more modern proportions so they dont look like costumes but still have that romantic volume and beautiful detailing. The thing is, I hate machine sewing. I've discovered I adore hand sewing everything. I am currently hand sewing a quilt and all of my shirts. Not one seam is machine stitched and all of the seams are finished so meticulously that you could wear the shirts inside out even. Its the perfection in the long process that floats my boat. I love to sit for hours on end in meditative stance stitching a perfectly straight seam with tiny beautiful stitches. The completion is less important than the skill in creation. There is nothing better than wearing a completely handstitched garment. I don't think fashion design would be my thing because its the handsewing I love. Pattern making just gives me more freedom and a better fit than using commercial patterns does. I spent a whole year making historical corsetry and handsewing all 56 eyelets on each one. Thats the kind of project I adore. Still intend on handsewing an 18th century court gown just for the hell of it.

    Landscaping - using permaculture principles only. I'm a sucker for a rambling country garden and do not abide the modern gardening techniques. Give me real dirt, some chickens and some seed and I will grow you Giverny. Thats my kind of thing. I love old world, heritage plants, i love composting,caring for the soil and attending to an ecosystem. I love how one small change can bring health and vitality to a whole system, i love watching the insects in the garden, the small animals, and all the plants weave their wonderful symphony together over the course of a year. The natural cycle of life is what I adore, this earth is magnificent and I just wish we could all find our place within it rather than imposing our will on it. There's nothing I love more than to wake up in the morning, grab a coffee and wander aimlessly around a garden in my PJ's looking at what grew and changed overnight. I could waste half a day doing just that. Time with my hands in dirt is time well spent. Mother nature is my mentor, and I enjoy learning from her.

    There has to be something in all of this. Some amazing little niche into which I can ensconce myself and create something beautiful. I rather fancy I was born to run a country estate, the lack of any such thing in my country is a big hurdle to that fantasy. I could always create it and I suppose thats what my permaculture project is loosely based on and working towards. But I've always held a core belief I am here to do something amazing....if only I could discover what that was.

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