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  1. #11
    brainheart
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    At my youngest, I remember being incredibly dramatic. I loved to listen to music like Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet and 'inhabit' it. It was like no one else existed and I would feel all of it, dancing, until I collapsed to the floor, weeping.

    I loved to live in big emotions. The way I expressed those was through dance, music, acting. My parents didn't encourage any of these things- being overly emotional was seen as a bad thing, so I escaped into books and learned to hide my feelings. It's like my feelings became my own little secret that I shared with no one else, and I was ashamed when I did, when I couldn't contain them. I became the child who shares nothing and does everything right so no one thinks to ask whether they're ok, whether this is what they want. Secretly, I thought I was some sort of genius, that I should be a world class ballerina or a musical prodigy. I knew I had the potential within me, because I had the emotion and love for it- and that if I were encouraged, if my life circumstances were different, it would happen. It was like I was biding my time, waiting for someone to unlock the key and lead me to this other world where I was these things, but time progressed and those opportunities became fainter and more unrealistic.

    It wasn't until I got older that I realized how angry I was with my parents about this, and how I have done self sabotaging things to punish them for it. I want them to see how they fucked me up, how they ruined me. It's been really hard to forgive them, and it's even harder to let go of the masochism because, ultimately, I know it's more my fault than it is theirs. If I had been stronger, more bold, I could have been those things.

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    An exposed, raw nerve. Drove my parents crazy.
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #13

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    I'm a 4w5. As a child, I was shy but active. Unconnected given the degree of daydreaming going on. Feelings of not belonging in my own family predominate. The arts have always been my center, but it wasn't until I left my family that I discovered other people out there who might understand. Unfortunately, they'll never replace or resolve the disorientation I felt growing up.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member renaiziphonts's Avatar
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    From what I've been told, I was a pretty good kid. Pretty wild and uncontrollable (I've mellowed out considerably), but also I had loved learning. I remember I had something strong against reading, but I did enjoy math and science. I even got a science fair medal once, can't remember what i did to trick them into giving me that thoug!

    Still, I was a second child, and my brother was the biggest and meanest brother you could have! Truthfully, we loved eachothher, but we fought constantly. He mellowed out as well, so that ended up alright,

  5. #15
    LadyLazarus
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    A cry baby(ok fine; an even bigger cry baby), petrified of people, solitary/ preferred to play alone, even more bad-tempered, even more stubborn, book worm, and even then sensitive to the unauthentic above all.

    My mom says that when I was a baby I used to cry whenever I was near certain people, people who later turned against me and my family at the drop of a hat but pretended to be good, loyal family friends during my childhood. I've always been very sensitive to the truth and authenticity of an individual, it's always hard for me to be around people I feel aren't genuine, all my life I've always felt a strong wave of repulsion when faced with the insincere.

  6. #16
    To here knows when... Odi et Amo's Avatar
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    When I was 4 or 5, I loved cars (still do) and used to collect car brochures from dealerships. I gave them all names and anthropomorphised them. I had my 5th birthday party in a car dealership. No fucks given.

    I used to get sent into the hall for asking, "Why?", to every single lesson in elementary school.

    When I was 8, I sheared off half of the hair on each eyebrow with a pair of scissors because I was bored in CCD and wanted to look different.

    I would sing incessantly to myself as I walked down the halls, which I still do. No fucks given.

    In general I read a lot, cried a good deal, was a perpetual contrarian, and practiced the creed of academic heterodoxy.
    Solitude
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    “Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
    ― Albert Camus

    4w5/5w4/1w2, Neutral Good, RlxAI

  7. #17
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    Very moody. Shy at school, brat at home. Good student until junior high when my life fell apart.

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