[Type 9] Assimilating Traits from Other Enneagram Types

[Udog]

There's a lot of talk about the difficulties that E9s face, but I'm not sure if I've seen much conversation about one of the cooler things with the E9 description. From https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typenine.asp

We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones.

How do you relate to this part of the description?

 

[badger055]

My girlfriend is a 9. She says things like "I can be anything you want me to be".

 

[gromit]

I thought most people have at least a bit of all of them... e9s moreso? hmm...

I definitely feel like there are many different sides to me, esp depending who I'm hanging out with.

 

[Alea_iacta_est]

Whoa. Are 9s social chameleons? Like when you are with friends do you feel yourself becoming more 7-ish and highly extroverted? Because if so I think I'm more 9 than I thought.

 

[Udog]

I thought most people have at least a bit of all of them... e9s moreso? hmm...

I definitely feel like there are many different sides to me, esp depending who I'm hanging out with.

I think the difference is that 9s tend to display traits of various other Enneagram types at the price of having clearly defined characteristics of their own.

When you hang out with friends, do you find yourself analyzing their behaviors and motivations, and then possibly incorporating them into your own personality if you find them useful or fun?

Whoa. Are 9s social chameleons? Like when you are with friends do you feel yourself becoming more 7-ish and highly extroverted?

Definitely. "Highly extroverted" is pushing it, but if I spend enough time with a 7 I'll be MORE extroverted afterward, at least for a little while. As an example, I went on a vacation with a couple of friends, one of them being a 7. I paid close attention to how the 7 planned out the trip, including their motivations behind their decisions. Understanding how their mind worked was important, and I tried to incorporate as much of that into my own thought processes as I could. The things I picked up from that trip lead to me going on my own 2 week backpacking vacation out of the country a bit later. I had never done anything like that, and there's no way I would have been able to do that without spending time with the 7.

"Social chameleon" is a good metaphor, as it's a useful skill to keep our heads low. However, I tend to view the process more like how the Borg assimilates others. That, or maybe like Peter Pitrelli, the Empath from Heroes. I always related to the character (during the early seasons at least).

 

[gromit]

I think the difference is that 9s tend to display traits of various other Enneagram types at the price of having clearly defined characteristics of their own.

When you hang out with friends, do you find yourself analyzing their behaviors and motivations, and then possibly incorporating them into your own personality if you find them useful or fun?

Eh... I'm not sure I'd say it's so purposeful like that for me. More just picking up vibes off of people and going with those vibes sort of thing. I wouldn't say I really analyze or think about it though, it just happens.

 

[Kasper]

It's like everyone else's energy is so much more influential than anything that I want for myself so moving and shaping myself to the external surroundings is the default, the biggest problem I personally feel with it is others typically like me, because I can fit any void and do so smoothly, and yet for me it's never really me they like so connections are all superficial and based on who I can be for them.

So yeah, I do relate to the OP quote, and not just on surface level and I love that I can be everything at once, but the way it is represented is done at my own expense, like if people see those traits in me and appreciate them they are liking the facade they choose to see.

 

[Udog]

Eh... I'm not sure I'd say it's so purposeful like that for me. More just picking up vibes off of people and going with those vibes sort of thing. I wouldn't say I really analyze or think about it though, it just happens.

Neat - I was wondering how the quote reflected in other people. The process sounds far more fluid with you than it is with me. I can't quite match the vibe of the group as easily, I have to work to get there. Do you happen to know your instinct stacking?

It's like everyone else's energy is so much more influential than anything that I want for myself so moving and shaping myself to the external surroundings is the default, the biggest problem I personally feel with it is others typically like me, because I can fit any void and do so smoothly, and yet for me it's never really me they like so connections are all superficial and based on who I can be for them.

So yeah, I do relate to the OP quote, and not just on surface level and I love that I can be everything at once, but the way it is represented is done at my own expense, like if people see those traits in me and appreciate them they are liking the facade they choose to see.

Indeed, and when you stick your neck out a bit and show them a bit of your "real" self, and they react negatively, it's... unpleasant.

How does the original quote reflect in your thinking? Is it a conscious thing, or more like with Gromit, where you sense the vibe and just run with it?

 

[Kasper]

Indeed, and when you stick your neck out a bit and show them a bit of your "real" self, and they react negatively, it's... unpleasant.

Mmmyup.

How does the original quote reflect in your thinking? Is it a conscious thing, or more like with Gromit, where you sense the vibe and just run with it?

I put a lot of effort into knowing why I do, think, feel, react how I do, I am still a 9 though so I either need a former experience that I have already considered to compare a current situation with to know my thoughts/feels on it, or I need to retreat to my own space and ponder what my stance is, which is to say as much as I focus on self awareness my instinctive reactions are 'flowy' and not at all a conscious effort to be any particular way, it just 'is'.

Looking over the quote there are two things that stand out to me, the first is I am a strong person so I do relate to the "strength of the Eights" part and I figure that has to do with it being my wing, plus life experience that has shown me I am, the other thing is the rest are all muted versions of the type. If I'm around a fun loving 7 I would get wrapped up in their sense of fun and adventure, for me it's a sense of passion that excites me, however it takes an external thing to be in that space. If I'm in a situation where being dutiful is relevant then I will be, however it's not with the focus or dedication that a Six would show and I would slacken off easily if I 'felt' like it. I have a passion for learning and intellectualism, but the way Fives stick to it would bore the crap out of me rather quickly. I am creative but don't have the flair of a typical Four nor the confidence in my art. I can be impressive like a Three but I dislike the attention so can't maintain it. I am generous when it's convenient to me, not like a Two who would be willing to put themselves out, and I am idealistic yet don't fight for anything like a One would. So sure, I can relate to the saying, but in a muted way, to others in a moment it could look the part, but it's not consistent it's going with the vibe of the environment.

It's just a 9 thing, people who first meet me typically see the surface of someone who is balanced and mature, there are no distinct flaws that stand out because I can be any of the above and meet people on their wavelength, being So dom means the interconnections stand out to me effortlessly so merging into an environment requires no thinking on my behalf if I like the atmosphere, however it's just not maintainable as I don't have the core motivators other types have to result on those behaviours/focuses.

 

[Udog]

Looking over the quote there are two things that stand out to me, the first is I am a strong person so I do relate to the "strength of the Eights" part and I figure that has to do with it being my wing, plus life experience that has shown me I am, the other thing is the rest are all muted versions of the type. If I'm around a fun loving 7 I would get wrapped up in their sense of fun and adventure, for me it's a sense of passion that excites me, however it takes an external thing to be in that space. If I'm in a situation where being dutiful is relevant then I will be, however it's not with the focus or dedication that a Six would show and I would slacken off easily if I 'felt' like it. I have a passion for learning and intellectualism, but the way Fives stick to it would bore the crap out of me rather quickly. I am creative but don't have the flair of a typical Four nor the confidence in my art. I can be impressive like a Three but I dislike the attention so can't maintain it. I am generous when it's convenient to me, not like a Two who would be willing to put themselves out, and I am idealistic yet don't fight for anything like a One would. So sure, I can relate to the saying, but in a muted way, to others in a moment it could look the part, but it's not consistent it's going with the vibe of the environment.

Oh, good point about the expressions being muted. I relate to much of that.

It's just a 9 thing, people who first meet me typically see the surface of someone who is balanced and mature, there are no distinct flaws that stand out because I can be any of the above and meet people on their wavelength, being So dom means the interconnections stand out to me effortlessly so merging into an environment requires no thinking on my behalf if I like the atmosphere, however it's just not maintainable as I don't have the core motivators other types have to result on those behaviours/focuses.

Interesting. As an SP dom, it's generally not effortless for me since behaving like other E-types usually involves me coming way out of my comfort zone, so I resort to trying to understand the mental mechanics in order to overcome the fears and match the behaviors.

 

[gromit]

Neat - I was wondering how the quote reflected in other people. The process sounds far more fluid with you than it is with me. I can't quite match the vibe of the group as easily, I have to work to get there. Do you happen to know your instinct stacking?

Moreso with individual people than groups of them.

If there is conflict within a group of people I don't know as well I just feel like AHHHHH... kind of paralyzed almost... make it stop!!!

But yeah, I'll just sort of find myself acting more pragmatic around some people, more sympathetic around others, or whatnot. It's fun though, I like all different folks.

I'm sp/sx.

 

[gromit]

Indeed, and when you stick your neck out a bit and show them a bit of your "real" self, and they react negatively, it's... unpleasant.

Mmmyup.

Haha. Yeah it's kind of annoying isn't it? But then you just have to figure... their loss... right?

 

[Kasper]

Haha. Yeah it's kind of annoying isn't it? But then you just have to figure... their loss... right?

Not always, because it can be taken as having more meaning than intended. I think the quickest way to get a 9 to stfu is to interrupt us when we're talking about ourselves, it doesn't mean the other person isn't interested in what we had to say, it's just that we aren't inclined to share that stuff due to the lack of importance we place on it so it matters to us more than any other type when we do however the smallest dismissal can be seen as total rejection, so sometimes the loss is all ours if we withdraw too easily in the face of a negative reaction. At least that's my experience.

 

[gromit]

Not always, because it can be taken as having more meaning than intended. I think the quickest way to get a 9 to stfu is to interrupt us when we're talking about ourselves, it doesn't mean the other person isn't interested in what we had to say, it's just that we aren't inclined to share that stuff due to the lack of importance we place on it so it matters to us more than any other type when we do however the smallest dismissal can be seen as total rejection, so sometimes the loss is all ours if we withdraw too easily in the face of a negative reaction. At least that's my experience.

I guess I'm just saying... that person is showing that they aren't really worth your time. You are much better off wth people who care to know you as you are. So it is their loss that they don't get to experience the awesomeness that is... YOU

 

[statuesquechica]

There's a lot of talk about the difficulties that E9s face, but I'm not sure if I've seen much conversation about one of the cooler things with the E9 description. From https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typenine.asp



How do you relate to this part of the description?

I totally relate to this part of the description (except I would probably be a counterphobic 6, if I understand the description well enough). I had the hardest time pinpointing my Enneagram type because I identified with the majority of them, and not just a sentence here and there, but the core of that personality. I am incredibly idealistic (to a fault), focused on achieving goals, romanticizing, questioning of authority, and on and on with the other types. I went around and around trying to figure my type out.

I guess I don't think of myself as a chameleon, but rather, by going along with the flow I have said "sure, I'll try that" and have had experiences I may have limited myself from having otherwise. I don't find myself consciously studying other people and their behaviors, but rather I can readily tap into that part of myself becoming far more social and inviting with very little effort. Perhaps it is the ability to tap into other peoples' interests and passions and magnify them, and ultimately I think the e9 benefits if they are open-minded to these new experiences.

I have more than enough interests and passions of my own to pursue, so you do need that healthy balance.

It would be interesting to see how the wing may influence different posts on this thread, or the tritype (which I am still trying to determine for myself, though I'm thinking 9-2-6).