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Thread: How do fours utilise available resources/opportunities/support networks?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array
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    Aug 2011

    Default How do fours utilise available resources/opportunities/support networks?

    After having a run in with a manager at work earlier (and after the subsequent neurotic reflection on my sad lot in life) I came to a revelation: that I was following a recurring pattern of behaviour which I had finally managed to articulate to myself:

    1)That I spend a sizeable part of my time feeling alone with nothing in reality which can save me or offer a solution to my problem.
    2)After it passes I realise there are probably solutions but I have no idea of what they are or how I would utilise them. I'm aloof to it all and no matter how much I learn this doesn't change.
    3)At other points there are reservations about doing things which could alleviate my issues e.g. emigrating, moving out, finding a new job because they are external issues ; they are paid attention to stop the world from antagonising my inner world and my content self-reflection. However if I do nothing I keep suffering from the same issues e.g. being without clout at work or having a meagre income.

    I'm not 100% sure this makes sense (I'm using my phone when I'm supposed to be working) but this has been a continuous problem throughout my life. Being in a bubble is a problem if outside forces keep popping it. Has anyone (particularly 4's) found ways of instinctively becoming aware of outside solutions and found ways to prevent procrastination and actually pursue them?

    If you can provide insight I will try and find use for it. If my question makes little sense I shall attempt to reword.


  2. #2
    Healer-in-Training Array Morning Star's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
    9w1 sx/so
    EII Ne


    1) You could always talk to someone who is close to you, whenever you feel this way.
    2) Maybe you should write a list of solutions that you can think of after the fact (if - as you mentioned here - you can't think of any solutions, you could brainstorm with a friend/colleague), then keep it in a place where you can easily take it out and look at it the next time it happens.
    3) Not sure about this one, sorry...

    Hope this helps a bit!
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

    MY BLOGS:,

  3. #3
    Anew Leaf


    Living in a bubble is a great way of looking at it. I was thinking of something similar last night because I was mentally avoiding a particular sad reality I was facing. So I had to sort of mentally force myself to look at the situation with a "it doesn't matter what you wish would happen here is the reality."

    I think our imagination easily works against us because it's more pleasant and "fulfilling" in a doughnut consumption kind of way to imagine everything instead of experiencing things as they are.

    Where was I going with this... Hmm... anyway, I think perhaps doing a check-in with yourself about "what is my reality and what can I do about it" with action steps and awareness is probably the way to go. This is kind of tricky to do and remember... so perhaps setting a reminder on your phone could help.

  4. #4
    know ⏩ assist ⏩ survive Array Alaska's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    4w5 sx/sp
    ESI Fi


    I know just what you mean. More than once I've been stuck in a problem far longer than I had to be just because it didn't occur to me to tell anybody else. I automatically assume that others won't give a shit, or that they won't grasp the problem like I do and mess it up even worse. That I am on my own in life. But once I am aware of an outside solution, I have no problem using it.

    So, the answer the OP question: Like most people do, but only once I look up for a moment and realize that they're there.
    4w5 6w7 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

    RLOAX (don't do it)
    Melancholic Hufflepuff
    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2013
    468 sx/so
    :-( None


    My answers. Read the quote:

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post

    1) I've learned to appreciate the freedom that being alone can offer. Yes, you still get downswings where you realize you just wasted your life not connecting with others. But at least you enjoy the waste. It's YOUR wasted time. You own it. Not anyone else.
    2) I have this problem exactly--solutions are out there! But what are they? I've just stopped caring. That's the only advice I can pass along.
    3) Honestly, you just have to go do something in this scenario. Cast aside reservations and do it. But do know that it won't be an actual solution for your problem. At best it will be a temporarily exciting change that later goes back to your usual state; more probably, it will be an adequate way to pass time but you'll wonder why you even bothered. It's ultimately not the thing that will give your life meaning. You can't win, I guess...but that's no reason not to try it anyway.
    I try to focus on making the most out of the reality around me. You know, try to create my own adventure and saga IRL instead of always imagining it. There's some really fascinating stuff out there, especially for an Ne-dom. You have to choose something that interests you first, and work from there.

    I haven't really figured out any way to overcome procrastination, but it's ok to let the world pop your bubble. That's a good thing, because it means you can eventually grow out of it. Next time it happens, use it for your own purposes.

    That may not be so helpful, but I hope you can consider it anyway.

  6. #6
    Blind Guardian Array Haven's Avatar
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    Apr 2011
    2w3 so/sp
    ESFj Ti


    This pattern feels familiar, you know there's a problem, there's probably a solution to it, but you hesitate to act because of the disruption it might cause?

    Sorry if I'm oversimplifying it, but I think simple problems are easier to overcome.
    {The Diplomat}

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array
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    Oct 2013
    4w5 sp/so
    INFj Ne


    I don't.

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