Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
I'm feeling quite moderate lately.

I don't know if its because of my interactions with friends, or if its because I drank 2 tablespoons of weed syrup 2 days ago. In either case, I feel very calm.

I love it. Part of the reason I love it so much, is because people don't seem to react negatively to me. I walk up and talk to strangers and they seem to speak to me without getting jittery or nervous. Its almost as if.... I'm normal!

I have two theories why I'm feeling this way:
1. the weed.
2. intense conversations I had with an INFJ sx 4. it was like taking cocaine. We completely out did one another until we both collapsed from exhaustion and decided it was best to both act normal. lmao. Ever since then, People seem to be much more receptive to me. They seem to welcome me and not get jittery or go on edge when I look them in the eye. I'm no longer talking to her, it didn't work out, but I'd still like to retain the lessons learned from our interaction.

Ideas? Why do I feel normal right now?

My emotions seem to behave much like molten lava. When heated, energized or excited, they start flowing. They become warm and fluid. I can feel them again. But over time, this warmth starts to disappear, and I cool off, and my emotions seem to harden into rock again.

I wish, with all of my soul, that I could keep my emotions in this fluid state, and hold onto this inner warmth, but it always seems to dissipate and I don't know why. Are there any self sufficient ways, forms of meditation, or anything else that I can do, to enliven myself, and feel these emotions again without feeling like I need to be in a relationship to make it happen?

What is the psychology behind all of this? Despite talking out loud to myself and other things, the answers never seem to be so simple. I can't figure out a good cause for any of this.

Sounds a bit like manic depression... not, if you had actual reasons for changing, though.

Also... Do keep it in mind that with intense emotions flowing, you will be perceiving things differently. Your reality will be different. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing, just if it's taken to the extreme making you dysfunctional. To an extent, to a not too extreme extent, it can make you more functional, depending.

I am mentioning different perception because of what you said about the different reactions of strangers. Possible it's all in your head. But if you describe what tangible cues you observed that indicate an actual different reaction, I could be more sure about this.

As for wanting to feel more enlivened, maybe you do just need a relationship. That can also make you a bit manic but it's normal I guess, ha, no worries