[Type 8] 8s: Please Don't Have Children

[Abbey]

My father is an 8 and I know there is a lot of things that make up a person and I do love him, but he is not a very good father. Aside from not understanding me at all, (he's an ENTJ, I'm an INFP) he is very controlling.

Obviously, do whatever you want, have children if you please, but I just hope that if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good.

Further, as eights, what do you desire to control? Being a four and having many four friends, we all have our purpose, so I thought maybe eights all have their thing they desire to control.

 

[AzulEyes]

My ENTJ 8 friend is an awesome Dad. Grant it- his kids are little. But I see him always being a great dad. Probably depends on the individual. Wanting to control some things in life doesn't always equate to wanting to control your kids- though in your case apparently it did. (Sorry for that.)

 

[Lady_X]

i think my ex (type 8) bf will be an awesome dad.

i'm sorry you've had that experience tho...can't stand being controlled like that either but really just about all etypes will screw their children up in some way or another. we all have our stuffs ya know?

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

LOL, wow.

I could post a very similar post about 9s, though. I'm sure my mom could post about 1s. I think it's more about individual parents, and the short-comings of all types.

Or maybe only gut types. (LOL, I jest. I wouldn't want me for a parent, either, and I'm a 4).

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Any type can be unhealthy.

 

[PimpinMcBoltage]

8s will be having children whether you want it or not. If they want it or not.

 

[Azure Flame]

You don't raise 8 children. We raise you... TO THE GROUND

 

[cafe]

I bet they put on better birthday parties than I do. God, I hated doing birthday parties. Now I can use my 9w1 passive-aggressive superpowers and tell them they can have a party if they clean the house and they are usually too lazy to clean the house, so I don't have to do a party.

 

[rav3n]

Here's what my ENTP son said to me recently, paraphrased:

Mom, all my life you've never really forced me to do anything but I have to thank you for forcing me to learn how to swim.

*cues hugs and tears all around*

The only reason why he was forced to do this, was because it was a safety issue.

Not all 8s are controlling parents. But it really helps to have a son who's mature and responsible enough to make good, solid decisions on his own. Had he been otherwise, it's possible I might have been more controlling but as soon as he was capable, he was given simple choices so he never felt that he didn't have sufficient control in his life. It also helped to hone his ability to make responsible decisions since explanations were given for choices.

Parenting is a synergy and guidance, not a wardship. If you consider ENTJs, we have no interest in micromanaging anyone, even our own children. Here are the tools, here's the end-goal, GO!

 

[Azure Flame]

I can't see myself being controlling. I can see myself being neglectful, however.

I'm kind of thinking about kicking my kid out of the house at an early age and teaching him to not take things for granted.

 

[Redbone]

My sister is an 8 but she was really unhealthy. Other people raised her kids. She has a relationship with the oldest one but I know my niece wishes her mom was...well, more 'motherly'.

 

[Kasper]

All parents screw their kids up in their own way, the good ones give their kids the tools to deal with that.

My ENTJ E8 brother is frequently impatient with incompetence in others, has very high standards, is dedicated to the goals he sets and will make them happen come hell or high water. With his son he has made it a goal to give his son all the things he didn't get with his INFP E9 father who was easy going, in his own world and never followed through, this means he is very attentive and spends a lot of quality time with his son. That's a good parent.

Being controlling is no greater downside in a parent than being neglectful, you've had one experience that doesn't mean that all 8s are like that, or that all children of 8s would react the same way as you in the face of a controlling parent. A mature 8 is a highly respectable and consistent parent imo.

 

[Haven]

I think 8s make great parents, or at least hilarious ones.

If you were ever kidnapped in Paris, you would want an 8 for a dad.

Mother. Effing. Mufasa.

 

[Forever_Jung]

My e8 dad wants to control his own life, but he's not that interested in controlling his children. My e2 mom wants to control everyone, because she "just wants people to be happy". *shudder*

I get that you're frustrated though, I wouldn't want to be under the thumb of an over-controlling e8 ENTJ parent. Each type certainly has their downfalls as parents.

I'm a 6, and I imagine I will transmit my anxiety and mistrust onto my children (if I ever have any).

 

[Daenera]

From what I've seen they actually make great parents, depends on type I guess and how healthy they are, but I think most of them are very good of setting example and push their kids to become independent rather than trying to control them, while being very protective at the same time.They are lovable bastards in general.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

4s can also be difficult. Disintegrating to unhealthy 2 can be kind of maddening. It's basically what they always complain about with ESFJs. It's also an attempt to control, in it's own way. People just don't think of it that way because it seems less "mean".

 

[ceecee]

My father is an 8 and I know there is a lot of things that make up a person and I do love him, but he is not a very good father. Aside from not understanding me at all, (he's an ENTJ, I'm an INFP) he is very controlling.

Obviously, do whatever you want, have children if you please, but I just hope that if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good.

Further, as eights, what do you desire to control? Being a four and having many four friends, we all have our purpose, so I thought maybe eights all have their thing they desire to control.

Yeaaaah. You sound young so I'm going to give you the green light for this outburst. Until you have children of course, then things won't be so clear. I'm an 8, my husband is a 9 and we have 4 children together. I would even say my ENFJ husband is more strict as a parent than I am. I don't like controlling others, most INTJ's will agree with this. I do like controlling myself and my environment. That means that my children don't run wild, break the law, flunk out of school or cause grief and harm to the family and certainly not without consequences. They are their own people, free to pursue what makes them happy (unless it's something included in the above sentence). That said, there are many ways to fuck up children and every, single person I know says that their parents don't/didn't understand them. That's really not a hallmark of a bad parent.

 

[kyuuei]

Its an interesting topic that my family discusses--they all think I'd make an awesome parent. I can see why they think that.

However.. I think my parenting skills are severely lacking. My patience is thin for repetitive and redundant tasks and with children that cannot understand what I am saying it is just pure frustration. Babies, especially, are just awful. I find more love for my younger family members as they age, and much preferred dealing with the teenage problems of my youngest sister to dealing with the daily nonsense of my current nearly 1 year old niece.

If I were to ever be a parent.. I would need a lot of help early in the game.. and would still run a risk of depression from the tasks at hand. I would, and could, do them. But not without disliking every step of them.

 

[cafe]

I would just about swear my grandma was a 1(w2?) and she was my controlling 'parent.' She was always so worried about everything. She was still asking me if I had clean underwear on in case of an accident when I was twenty.

No idea what etype my mom is. She can be really pushy about trying to get people on a bandwagon she's excited about, but she is fairly easy to distract.

My grandpa (my third parent) didn't have to try to control me. I adored him and always wanted to please him, except I couldn't stop talking like a Yankee.

 

[Dancing_Queen]

My father is an 8 and I know there is a lot of things that make up a person and I do love him, but he is not a very good father. Aside from not understanding me at all, (he's an ENTJ, I'm an INFP) he is very controlling.

Obviously, do whatever you want, have children if you please, but I just hope that if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good.

Further, as eights, what do you desire to control? Being a four and having many four friends, we all have our purpose, so I thought maybe eights all have their thing they desire to control.

Oh my god, you’re so immature and ignorant. I can’t believe you actually think he’s a bad father because he’s a type 8. How old are you?

Did you ever stop to consider that maybe you would offend other 8’s before posting this? Thank God I'm not having children, I wouldn't be able to bear if they turned out like this.

And LOL at your sense of entitlement : “if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good “. Your undeveloped 4w3 is showing.

Grow up and take a seat.