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  1. #11
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    My sister is an 8 but she was really unhealthy. Other people raised her kids. She has a relationship with the oldest one but I know my niece wishes her mom was...well, more 'motherly'.

  2. #12
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    All parents screw their kids up in their own way, the good ones give their kids the tools to deal with that.

    My ENTJ E8 brother is frequently impatient with incompetence in others, has very high standards, is dedicated to the goals he sets and will make them happen come hell or high water. With his son he has made it a goal to give his son all the things he didn't get with his INFP E9 father who was easy going, in his own world and never followed through, this means he is very attentive and spends a lot of quality time with his son. That's a good parent.

    Being controlling is no greater downside in a parent than being neglectful, you've had one experience that doesn't mean that all 8s are like that, or that all children of 8s would react the same way as you in the face of a controlling parent. A mature 8 is a highly respectable and consistent parent imo.

  3. #13
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    I think 8s make great parents, or at least hilarious ones.




    If you were ever kidnapped in Paris, you would want an 8 for a dad.



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  4. #14
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    My e8 dad wants to control his own life, but he's not that interested in controlling his children. My e2 mom wants to control everyone, because she "just wants people to be happy". *shudder*

    I get that you're frustrated though, I wouldn't want to be under the thumb of an over-controlling e8 ENTJ parent. Each type certainly has their downfalls as parents.

    I'm a 6, and I imagine I will transmit my anxiety and mistrust onto my children (if I ever have any).

  5. #15
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    From what I've seen they actually make great parents, depends on type I guess and how healthy they are, but I think most of them are very good of setting example and push their kids to become independent rather than trying to control them, while being very protective at the same time.They are lovable bastards in general.

  6. #16
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    4s can also be difficult. Disintegrating to unhealthy 2 can be kind of maddening. It's basically what they always complain about with ESFJs. It's also an attempt to control, in it's own way. People just don't think of it that way because it seems less "mean".
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  7. #17
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    My father is an 8 and I know there is a lot of things that make up a person and I do love him, but he is not a very good father. Aside from not understanding me at all, (he's an ENTJ, I'm an INFP) he is very controlling.

    Obviously, do whatever you want, have children if you please, but I just hope that if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good.

    Further, as eights, what do you desire to control? Being a four and having many four friends, we all have our purpose, so I thought maybe eights all have their thing they desire to control.
    Yeaaaah. You sound young so I'm going to give you the green light for this outburst. Until you have children of course, then things won't be so clear. I'm an 8, my husband is a 9 and we have 4 children together. I would even say my ENFJ husband is more strict as a parent than I am. I don't like controlling others, most INTJ's will agree with this. I do like controlling myself and my environment. That means that my children don't run wild, break the law, flunk out of school or cause grief and harm to the family and certainly not without consequences. They are their own people, free to pursue what makes them happy (unless it's something included in the above sentence). That said, there are many ways to fuck up children and every, single person I know says that their parents don't/didn't understand them. That's really not a hallmark of a bad parent.
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  8. #18
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Its an interesting topic that my family discusses--they all think I'd make an awesome parent. I can see why they think that.

    However.. I think my parenting skills are severely lacking. My patience is thin for repetitive and redundant tasks and with children that cannot understand what I am saying it is just pure frustration. Babies, especially, are just awful. I find more love for my younger family members as they age, and much preferred dealing with the teenage problems of my youngest sister to dealing with the daily nonsense of my current nearly 1 year old niece.

    If I were to ever be a parent.. I would need a lot of help early in the game.. and would still run a risk of depression from the tasks at hand. I would, and could, do them. But not without disliking every step of them.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I would just about swear my grandma was a 1(w2?) and she was my controlling 'parent.' She was always so worried about everything. She was still asking me if I had clean underwear on in case of an accident when I was twenty.

    No idea what etype my mom is. She can be really pushy about trying to get people on a bandwagon she's excited about, but she is fairly easy to distract.

    My grandpa (my third parent) didn't have to try to control me. I adored him and always wanted to please him, except I couldn't stop talking like a Yankee.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Dancing_Queen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    My father is an 8 and I know there is a lot of things that make up a person and I do love him, but he is not a very good father. Aside from not understanding me at all, (he's an ENTJ, I'm an INFP) he is very controlling.

    Obviously, do whatever you want, have children if you please, but I just hope that if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good.

    Further, as eights, what do you desire to control? Being a four and having many four friends, we all have our purpose, so I thought maybe eights all have their thing they desire to control.
    Oh my god, you’re so immature and ignorant. I can’t believe you actually think he’s a bad father because he’s a type 8. How old are you?

    Did you ever stop to consider that maybe you would offend other 8’s before posting this? Thank God I'm not having children, I wouldn't be able to bear if they turned out like this.

    And LOL at your sense of entitlement : “if one potential or current parent reads this and decides to not try to control their child and/or spouse, I have done their family some good “. Your undeveloped 4w3 is showing.

    Grow up and take a seat.
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