User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 121

Thread: Ask a CP6...

  1. #51
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    5,368

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    I've come to see CP6 reactivity more like people/trust-OCD. I don't think it's coming from a place of being 'right'/righteous conviction so much as just [I]needing to know.
    Has this helped relating or getting along with CP6's? I think it's pretty accurate and...smart.

    The feeling of not knowing what someone is thinking or feeling can be super unsettling for CP's and cause them to react/doubt themselves as to the best course of action to take. In a way, it's outsmarting the CP6 and making them deal with you on a very different level, a good one though.
    ------

    Similar to what greenfairy said about "reacting to ourselves" rather than other people.
    @greenfairy you seem CP to me, in the way you approach issues. I think you may just be healthier than the average CP because you are *aware* of your reactivity.

    I can relate to a lot of what you said! Especially, the difference in good faith and trust.

    I know @Cloudpatrol asked about trust. Can you expand on what you mean by needing someone to "continuously affirm loyalty and earn trust" from your perspective?
    ~Live and learn from fools and from sages~




    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance
    Likes Cloudpatrol, Z Buck McFate liked this post

  2. #52
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    5,734

    Default

    @MDP2525

    This has probably already come up as a general premise but what do you think about the differences between CP 6 and P 6's approach to what makes them react?

    I'm obviously a P 6, though I have my CP style streak from time to time, but mostly I am looking for a solid footing from insecurities yet at the same time fear this necessity to ward off fear in the first place as an overreliance on external standards dictated by others.

    How does this contrast for you? If it does.
    'Consciousness is not simply a sensory-perceptual affair, a matter of mental imagery, as the contents of our mind would have us believe. It is deeply enmeshed with the brain mechanisms that automatically promote action readiness' - Jaak Panksepp

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.
    Likes MDP2525, greenfairy liked this post

  3. #53
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,435

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Has this helped relating or getting along with CP6's?
    Yes. The reactivity can really throw me off.

    I can be reactive myself, but only in situations/with people that I'm familiar with.

    I can empathize with being reactive in such a way that I find it very difficult to not express some of the stuff that's causing the reaction- if only to find out I'm wrong, that it's in my own perception- but I can empathize with not being able to hold it in and needing to know wtf is going on. I might have a hard time empathizing with the speed in which it seems to happen, but knowing it's essentially the same thing I go through makes it easy to empathize with. It becomes less threatening.

    When it looks like someone's reactivity is from righteous conviction, though, I find it very hard to empathize. That's like pure criticism, like someone throwing a big bag of poo into the pool. It's a compassion vacuum. I don't like being that person- I really dislike the actual feeling of feeling righteous, it feels terrible. And that behavior in others brings out the worst in me. It's a struggle to not find it threatening.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari
    Likes MDP2525 liked this post

  4. #54
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    5,368

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cellmold View Post
    @MDP2525

    This has probably already come up as a general premise but what do you think about the differences between CP 6 and P 6's approach to what makes them react?

    I'm obviously a P 6, though I have my CP style streak from time to time, but mostly I am looking for a solid footing from insecurities yet at the same time fear this necessity to ward off fear in the first place as an overreliance on external standards dictated by others.

    How does this contrast for you? If it does.
    I think some differences I see is P6 vs CP6, is the CP6 has *more* of a reliance on self, rather than the over-reliance on external standards dictated by others.

    So, this is why I think they get mistaken for 8's, who go inward to protect vulnerability/rejection. 8's trust their abilities. CP6's trust themselves(ish).

    But it's a baseline trust. It's a self-preservational trust rather than one built on confidence in their abilities. (Unlike 8's)* Uh. "At least I know I have my own back" comes to mind.

    I think the difference in a CP6, is they never really trust themselves but they know they aren't ones enemy. Lol. So, there's a safety in the CP6 own sense of trust in themselves but as opposed to 8's* 6's abilities are always in question because it is measured by others standards, or outside influence, rather than our own. It's why we second guess SO much because we are always watching for changing variables. Or are aware of HOW something will change.

    I think, and correct me here, that P6's seem way calmer in the world than CP6's - provided they can prepare or can access outside support systems to "have their backs" they won't feel out of control. Since the world is set up this way, P6's have many an outlet to "trust in" and won't seem so volitile as a CP6 does.

    A lot of this will overlap to some extent, but I see P6 more outwardly oriented/less self oriented than CP6's. Hmm. What do you see tho?
    ~Live and learn from fools and from sages~




    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance
    Likes Cellmold, greenfairy liked this post

  5. #55
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,042

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    ------

    Similar to what greenfairy said about "reacting to ourselves" rather than other people.
    @greenfairy you seem CP to me, in the way you approach issues. I think you may just be healthier than the average CP because you are *aware* of your reactivity.

    I can relate to a lot of what you said! Especially, the difference in good faith and trust.

    I know @Cloudpatrol asked about trust. Can you expand on what you mean by needing someone to "continuously affirm loyalty and earn trust" from your perspective?
    Well, betrayal whether accidental or with awareness is always a possibility. I don't believe there is anyone who would never do it, and if there is, I don't trust my ability to discern the person in question as such. So I have to always be on the lookout for it. People lose interest. Their commitments falter. Their attention wanders. Character flaws which were previously hidden come to light. I want people to reassure me that these things have not happened if something seems to me to suggest the possibility of any of them. And if they have done anything in the past to betray my trust, they have to earn it again, often over a period of time. It can't just be saying pretty words to get on my good side. Maybe I am more demanding than most, but I think part of what makes a person good or at least subjectively good for me to be with is the commitment to put forth the effort to make me feel secure at all times.

    Which is the central issue I am having with my 2 friends atm. They say they don't have the time or energy to deal with my insecurities. And I get that I am a little insecure, and have been a lot more in the past, but one went so far as to say it's not their job to make me feel secure. And I'm like, well actually it is. I'm not sure how to find this balance. Maybe I'm neurotic, but I feel like if they can't give me the reassurance I need I don't need them in my life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post

    When it looks like someone's reactivity is from righteous conviction, though, I find it very hard to empathize. That's like pure criticism, like someone throwing a big bag of poo into the pool. It's a compassion vacuum. I don't like being that person- I really dislike the actual feeling of feeling righteous, it feels terrible. And that behavior in others brings out the worst in me. It's a struggle to not find it threatening.
    This is something I can't empathize with at all. How do you possibly get angry with someone without a sense of right and wrong being involved? If something doesn't feel wrong to you, either subjectively or objectively, what is there to be angry about? If you are fighting or attempting to change a wrong, then you are in the right. Or feel you are right. It seems like you are saying there is something wrong with feeling right. Which makes no sense.

  6. #56
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,435

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    This is something I can't empathize with at all. How do you possibly get angry with someone without a sense of right and wrong being involved? If something doesn't feel wrong to you, either subjectively or objectively, what is there to be angry about? If you are fighting or attempting to change a wrong, then you are in the right. Or feel you are right. It seems like you are saying there is something wrong with feeling right. Which makes no sense.
    I'm not religious, but the phrase 'let he who has sinned cast the first stone' comes to mind. Or 'there but for the grace of God go I'.

    I can get angry about getting a bunch of mosquito bites without thinking it's "wrong" for mosquitoes to bite me. That's just what they do. It's just as available for someone to say it's "wrong" of me to go outside at night without using mosquito repellent. It can go back and forth like that forever. I have to share this planet with them, I know they're there- figuring out who or what is "wrong" is relatively pointless. Ultimately I think it's just a lazy way to offload shame (e.g. if a person can't handle feeling stupid about not having used mosquito repellent, they need to feel like they did nothing wrong- labeling mosquitoes "wrong" is a effective way to offload that shame).

    That^ is how I think when I'm feeling most like myself, when I like who I am. I don't like who I am/don't feel like myself when I'm feeling righteous about anything- it's a red flag for me. It invariably feels very slimy afterwards when I catch myself feeling morally superior to others in any way. (This isn't to say I don't avoid others who trigger me, I can and do avoid them like the plague. Just like I don't willingly stick my arm out at night for mosquitoes to bite me, just because that's what they do and they need an arm to bite. I'm just saying in the throes of feeling triggered I can get to feeling morally superior sometimes and I'm always left liking myself a little bit less as a result. There's some old saying along the lines of "be kind, for everyone we meet is fighting their own battles" or something. I like myself the most when I can be mindful of that- judging someone else's battle isn't actually helpful.)
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  7. #57
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,042

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    I'm not religious, but the phrase 'let he who has sinned cast the first stone' comes to mind. Or 'there but for the grace of God go I'.

    I can get angry about getting a bunch of mosquito bites without thinking it's "wrong" for mosquitoes to bite me. That's just what they do. It's just as available for someone to say it's "wrong" of me to go outside at night without using mosquito repellent. It can go back and forth like that forever. I have to share this planet with them, I know they're there- figuring out who or what is "wrong" is relatively pointless. Ultimately I think it's just a lazy way to offload shame (e.g. if a person can't handle feeling stupid about not having used mosquito repellent, they need to feel like they did nothing wrong- labeling mosquitoes "wrong" is a effective way to offload that shame).

    That^ is how I think when I'm feeling most like myself, when I like who I am. I don't like who I am/don't feel like myself when I'm feeling righteous about anything- it's a red flag for me. It invariably feels very slimy afterwards when I catch myself feeling morally superior to others in any way. (This isn't to say I don't avoid others who trigger me, I can and do avoid them like the plague. Just like I don't willingly stick my arm out at night for mosquitoes to bite me, just because that's what they do and they need an arm to bite. I'm just saying in the throes of feeling triggered I can get to feeling morally superior sometimes and I'm always left liking myself a little bit less as a result. There's some old saying along the lines of "be kind, for everyone we meet is fighting their own battles" or something. I like myself the most when I can be mindful of that- judging someone else's battle isn't actually helpful.)
    See these things never come apart for me. I can't wrap my mind around what you are saying- but it's interesting. How do you actually feel angry then? Is it just a strong unpleasant feeling without any associated thought? Like a crying baby has no moral judgement but they sure as heck get angry? I would never say it's wrong of you to not take care of yourself. I wouldn't blame the mosquito either. If I were angry I would think it unjust that mosquitoes exist in the first place and that the Universe willed this fate upon me. Which of course isn't rational, but feelings are not rational. I would get over it very quickly. But that's me. I could relate to the nonverbal raw feeling- so there is a small amount of them coming apart, but that little bit of judgement is almost always subconsciously tacked on. I also probably have shame issues, so you might be right about that part.

  8. #58
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,042

    Default

    @Thalassa do you still identify as a CP 6? I thought it fit you.

    Also have any of you waited tables? I think my 6 traits contributed to both my strengths and weaknesses in this area. I was specifically thinking about the fact that my natural tendency is to just say anything that comes across my mind with no filter, which is not good in this situation. Combined with the fact that kissing people's butts isn't something I enjoy. Which is not to say that another CP 6 couldn't be great at it.

    @riva
    What drives c6s to be so argumentative. When i mean argumentative i mean arguing over the simplest thing, with the closest of all people, over points made that weren't even made to offend or disagree?
    I second what someone else said about clarity. I also take objective truth very seriously because I think people's beliefs essentially drive the world, so to change the world you must change beliefs. And changing the world is something very important to me.
    Do you ever feel that you take things too seriously when you get involved in the kind of scenarios explained above?
    Only when it is brought to my attention afterward or I cause discord, or I wear myself out and feel stressed. It's a bit of a blind spot.
    Is it normal for c6s to imagine things to prove a point. I am not talking of scenarios where if you don't prove your point you'd get shot in your head.
    I don't really know what this means. I imagine interactions with people to see what I would say to see how right I think I am. I imagine hypothetical scenarios as examples illustrative of a point.
    Do/would you lie to prove a point.
    No, what would that prove? If I was hiding a small detail counter to the point I was making but I thought the point still stood, I could feel justified in leaving it out- especially if I thought the person I was talking to would not understand this and just derail the conversation.
    Do you constantly feel stress?
    Not since I have done a lot of meditative yoga for a long time. It was crazy when I realized the amount of background anxiety that was normally going through my mind.
    Do you ever think you crossed the limit in going bat shit crazy over another and have you ever apologized or would you?
    As in going crazy being overreactive? Sure. And yes. If I still cared about the person.
    If you get to be any other personality type what would you choose to be. It doesn't necessarity have to be a type you admire.
    Enneagram-wise? I don't know. I like my type just fine. I think I would like any other less.
    What do you think of e7s? (Try not to say that they all party too much.) Do you think e7s and e9s take things too lightly?
    I don't think much else about them honestly. And generally yes.
    Are you conservative when it comes to sex? Do you find it hard to intimately bond with another due to your anxieties? Do you find it hard to simply seek sex?
    -Not at all.
    -Totally.
    -I do feel like I would like some emotional intimacy and ongoing connection for it to really be enjoyable. Although I have had some good experiences where I only expected the former.
    Do you fuss ober the simplest things and are you people ever satisfied with things?
    Probably and probably not. I think I fear being satisfied because then I would have nothing to be vigilant about.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/24/244970.png

    6w5, 4w3, 1w9 (probably)
    Likes Thalassa liked this post

  9. #59
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,303

    Default

    @greenfairy

    Yes, I am a CP 6w7 SX/SO. Yes I waited a lot of tables in my teens and twenties when I wasn't working as an adult entertainer, or trying out desk or sales jobs I absolutely hated and was poorly suited for. I currently do massage and petitioning, and am working towards a hands on career in parks or ecology in the private sector or non-profit. My undergraduate studies concentrated in English Literature.

    I'm actually good at putting on a show, as long as the show stops at regular intervals. By that I mean I can "perform"..but in personal situations I do have a limited or poor filter about my true opinions, but I have peacefully given massages to Trump supporters. But catch me on a train and I might say that the person is a jerk. I can operate within limits well, but usually on short term time tables, which is why being self employed works for me.

    I have a need to vent, likely from performing for clients or customers.

    I have gotten better at seeing both sides of things, I actually make a likable vegan, my roommate is all about eating veggie meals now, I'm quite deft with my manipulation and could likely even marry a reducetarian or vegetarian with positive results. I was at a meeting tonight and could see both sides of a situation when someone a decade older than me was taking it personally. I attribute a lot of this to foruming on MBTI forums, yoga, meditation and talk therapy, because now I'm very aware of my issues, but am likely the most confident I've been since before I began puberty.

    I also wonder how much this has to do with developing tertiary Ni.

    I'm really bad in random personal situations though. That's likely partially Se, and partially being a CP 6w7. It's really hard for me not to tell people to fuck off when it's the equivalent of a surprise.
    Likes Masokissed, greenfairy liked this post

  10. #60
    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx
    Socionics
    ILE Ti
    Posts
    3,075

    Default

    Do you guys consider yourselves neurotic?

Quick Reply Quick Reply

  • :bye:
  • :hi:
  • :)
  • :hug:
  • :happy2:
  • :smile:
  • :wubbie:
  • :D
  • :wink:
  • ;)
  • :newwink:
  • :(
  • :cry:
  • :mad:
  • :dry:
  • :doh:
  • :huh:
  • :shock:
  • :shrug:
  • :blush:

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] Ask an INTJ
    By logan235711 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 870
    Last Post: 05-22-2015, 05:04 AM
  2. Ask Me a Question
    By reason in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 113
    Last Post: 01-30-2009, 12:47 PM
  3. [ISTJ] Ask the ISTJ
    By RansomedbyFire in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 10-18-2008, 02:01 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO