Not calling every 7w6 a retard. Only myself. So now that that's been clarified let me just say that I've been typed by several people versed in ENNG from PerC. Prior to that I took a free online test and was typed as a 6. Which couldn't explain my obnoxious 'bubbly' proactive problem solving, 'hooray lets all be happy' disposition. I've read lots on the other types and I'm confident with 7w6 being accurate and I was wondering what you thought about my recent realization of self.
I tend to always be jumping from thing to thing. Creative projects, writings, books, etc. one thing I've done this past year or two was pick up typology as an interest and was intro'd into the forum world online. Like a fish to water I took to, and essentially, it's like the most fabulous form of distraction. So I find I distract myself with people/forum interactions when I'm bored or stressed or wanting to hide(hermit) myself from irl people. It's so lame. Meh. So anyways that's not the retarded part. I find that I have this predicament where I'm in this weird internal fight where I want to be in a happy relationship and maybe be normal for like 5 fucking minutes. But because my life circumstances are complicated and incredibly difficult, I'm stubbornly constantly trying to assert my independence (which I realize sorta pushes people away). And I find no matter how much I miss someone, I'm afraid or nervous to reach out. Not because I'm afraid of rejection. But rather, I don't want them to think I'm needy. It's so stupid, lol! Also, to make matters worse, I can't bring myself to ask for help but am always craving a teacher of sorts and the whole thing makes me feel like I'm completely ridiculous. So I just go with it and have fun(left un satisfied) anyways, I've decided I must be retarded :p (not the literal meaning of the word! Please don't give me a lecture over the word usage. It's just for lack of a better term. Ugh.
There's more I guess but I'll spare you. The question is, I don't know my instinctual variants or the other types on my tripod and I'm thinking maybe there would be some value in understanding that. Maybe there's those influences to consider. Essentially, my goal is to determine how high do I need to jump to get over myself. :p I'm seriously standing in my own way. And I always feel like I'm wasting time! But I haven't figured out how to conquer this skeleton I found in my purse last night.
Honest feedback will be appreciated. I'm not easily offended so don't hesitate to spit it out. I'm more or less in analytical mode so expect me not to accept notions blindly but rather, I'll enjoy taking them apart to help me understand. Thanks for any input in advance!!