@Starry how did you get out of that? And how did it change you?
I know exactly what you're saying. Something also happened to me that felt like a big slap, like life was governing me and not the other way round anymore... I always felt like i was free and my imagination was the limit, and i could do anything i wanted and be a happy wallflower etc. and then shit happened that made me feel like i was a train that goes out of the rails...made me question my entire identity...made me start having anxiety issues and being afraid of doing new things, and i didn't recognise myself, because i'd never had anxiety issues (had rage issues, if anything) and i was always courageous (or should i say unconscious of danger) to do anything. it's been over 5 years and i'd doing much better now, but i feel different from who i was at say 20, and i'm not sure if it's for the better. i'm not sure if having subliminal anxiety and being more aware of my limitations is actually a positive thing or not. sometimes i crave who i was at 20, or even as a child. more innocent. more open to the world.