[Type 6] Crazy counter-phobic impulses

[The Great One]

Do the rest of you 6's ever get crazy counter-phobic impulses? If so how do you control them? I personally get these crazy counter-phobic impulses all the time. For instance, I am normally terrified of getting my ass kicked, but the other day a huge guy cut in front of me in a line at my local grocer. Anyway, this guy had huge rippling muscles and looked like he could have snapped me like a twig, but a part of me just had to face the fear and I told him, "Dude get to the back of the damn line now! Anyway, I said this in a very forceful way, and somehow (I have no idea how) but I intimidated the guy into going to the back of the line." Another example is recently I had a friend that wanted to go cave diving and if you get trapped in those underwater caves, you could easily drown. Despite the overwhelming fear, I just said, "Fuck it" and I decided to go. I'm constantly fighting a battle between phobia and counter-phobia in my head and I'm constantly having impulses to do crazy shit. Do any of the other 6's get these? If so could you describe these impulses for me? Also, how do you control them because I think that these impulses could get me killed one day.
[MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION]
[MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION]

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I think it's the difference between "planning" and reaction. When we have time to think about scenarios our natural troubleshooting ability can conjur so many scenarios and it's easy to let the anxiety of those scenarios in (Similar to a panic attack: I think CP6's have a unique ability to actually put themselves body, emotions and mind into their scenarios without consciously doing so. Our whole fight or flight system is hardwired into it naturally.) So we often say, fuck it let's try it to see if I'm right or wrong about this. It's like we have hypothesis snd doing crazy shit is the resulting expirament.

Anyway, the key to getting command of this, for me, is slowing my brain down and realizing my body's reaction is not based on real life, only perceived "what could go wrong's". Or I'm getting older. Eh. Lol.

Strange thing I've noticed is I've gotten more cautious as I've gotten more peaceful internally.

About the impulses? We build up so much anxiety in our heads with those worst case scenarios that IRL we can look really (brave, reckless -depending on who's watching) because things IRL almost never are as bad as we have imagined. So it's an immediate reaction based on previous thought and our bodies conditioned response to it. We know how to handle things going wrong. Mostly subconsciously. If your guy who cut in line decided to hit you - I guarantee you would've felt no pain or fear. Just intense focus and righteous anger and shit would have gone down!! Lol.

Most people back down from cp6 anger because it comes from such a pure place - it's downright scary.

 

[Stansmith]

Lol, no. Very light stuff. What you describe is very Sx-6 though.

I'd probably have to be at level 9 to experience something like this, but even then, I'd imagine it'd be closer to an isolated hysteria or psychosis than complete wrecklessness.

 

[skylights]

Mine pretty much only occur in deciding when and how to confront people. About two years ago I got bullied by a manager at work - she tried to get me in trouble for a mistake she made - and I guess something inside me snapped, because I called her out in front of all our coworkers, then yelled at her in front of our supervisors when she tried to get me fired for calling her out, and confronted her more and more during her time in that role. Eventually she was asked by the company to step down, as they (finally) confirmed that she was falsifying huge amounts of information.

I don't tend to get angry enough to react like that unless I feel like someone is hurting everyone - like our manager who was dumping all her work on others as well as regularly blaming others for her mistakes. After she stepped down I really had to shift gears into being an assertive leader because I temporarily filled her position. Since then I feel like I've retained the confidence that I can confront like that, but I try to avoid it and temper myself. Yesterday at work a stranger came up to me and started complaining to me about what I had done wrong, and I was proud that I retained my internal equinamity, spoke neutrally, offered to help him, and he left not having rattled me. I felt like that was a major victory in terms of controlling my instinct to defend. It feels like I've grown enough to know I can use that power but do not have to if I do not choose to, though I still have much work to do learning to soothe that inner feeling of compulsion to react.

 

[The Great One]

I think it's the difference between "planning" and reaction. When we have time to think about scenarios our natural troubleshooting ability can conjur so many scenarios and it's easy to let the anxiety of those scenarios in (Similar to a panic attack: I think CP6's have a unique ability to actually put themselves body, emotions and mind into their scenarios without consciously doing so. Our whole fight or flight system is hardwired into it naturally.) So we often say, fuck it let's try it to see if I'm right or wrong about this. It's like we have hypothesis snd doing crazy shit is the resulting expirament.

Anyway, the key to getting command of this, for me, is slowing my brain down and realizing my body's reaction is not based on real life, only perceived "what could go wrong's". Or I'm getting older. Eh. Lol.

Strange thing I've noticed is I've gotten more cautious as I've gotten more peaceful internally.

About the impulses? We build up so much anxiety in our heads with those worst case scenarios that IRL we can look really (brave, reckless -depending on who's watching) because things IRL almost never are as bad as we have imagined. So it's an immediate reaction based on previous thought and our bodies conditioned response to it. We know how to handle things going wrong. Mostly subconsciously. If your guy who cut in line decided to hit you - I guarantee you would've felt no pain or fear. Just intense focus and righteous anger and shit would have gone down!! Lol.

Most people back down from cp6 anger because it comes from such a pure place - it's downright scary.

You are very right. I constantly put myself in scenarios before they happen. I am prepared for 90% of the the bad things that happen to me. I literally can see every possibility, every angle, every scenario, and every small little thing that could happen. You are also right that of those scenarios, I generally think that the worst thing that could possibly happen will happen. So then when something happens in real life, it's like a relief to me because it's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be. I literally could see myself planning out a Walter White scenario like this one, and then doing it just to face the overwhelming fear...

Also, I've noticed that the less that I have intimacy with a woman and have an intense connection with someone, the more those impulses come out. Earlier this year I felt close to a woman and the impulses went away almost completely, but as soon as I stopped seeing that woman the impulses came back worse than ever. It's very strange. The impulses tend to be sexual in nature, if that makes any sense.

Lol, no. Very light stuff. What you describe is very Sx-6 though.

I'd probably have to be at level 9 to experience something like this, but even then, I'd imagine it'd be closer to an isolated hysteria or psychosis than complete wrecklessness.

I experience this shit all the time.

Mine pretty much only occur in deciding when and how to confront people. About two years ago I got bullied by a manager at work - she tried to get me in trouble for a mistake she made - and I guess something inside me snapped, because I called her out in front of all our coworkers, then yelled at her in front of our supervisors when she tried to get me fired for calling her out, and confronted her more and more during her time in that role. Eventually she was asked by the company to step down, as they (finally) confirmed that she was falsifying huge amounts of information.

I don't tend to get angry enough to react like that unless I feel like someone is hurting everyone - like our manager who was dumping all her work on others as well as regularly blaming others for her mistakes. After she stepped down I really had to shift gears into being an assertive leader because I temporarily filled her position. Since then I feel like I've retained the confidence that I can confront like that, but I try to avoid it and temper myself. Yesterday at work a stranger came up to me and started complaining to me about what I had done wrong, and I was proud that I retained my internal equinamity, spoke neutrally, offered to help him, and he left not having rattled me. I felt like that was a major victory in terms of controlling my instinct to defend. It feels like I've grown enough to know I can use that power but do not have to if I do not choose to, though I still have much work to do learning to soothe that inner feeling of compulsion to react.

This happened to me at my former job too. Except the difference is that when my boss kept bullying me around, I wound up getting in a fist fight with him. He almost broke my kneecap and I gave him a huge black eye. However, then someone called the police and the cop was ready to arrest me and put me in cuffs, but luckily a witness told the cop that my boss attacked me first. Well that and my boss fleed the fight, when he saw the cops coming and go the fuck out of there and that made him look guilty. So I wound up not getting arrested.

The problem for me is that this sort of shit happens to me all the time. It's interesting because you claim that you rarely feel anger but yet I CONSTANTLY feel anger. It's VERY difficult for me not to feel anger. In fact, I think that most people avoid confrontation because of fear, and they fear the other person. However, I don't fear the other person that I could potentially get into conflict with. I, on the other hand, fear confronting them in a really crazy ass way and doing fucking crazy shit, and as a result wind up going to jail and getting a criminal record.

I just can't calm down! I find that drugs are very appealing to me because they seem to be the only thing that calm me down. I have smoked pot, cigarettes, been addicted to Xanax and Klonopin, and I've indulged in a little too much alcohol. It's like I just want to calm down, and I don't know how! I should also mention that I have a strong potential to become addicted to sex as well.

 

[skylights]

This happened to me at my former job too. Except the difference is that when my boss kept bullying me around, I wound up getting in a fist fight with him. He almost broke my kneecap and I gave him a huge black eye. However, then someone called the police and the cop was ready to arrest me and put me in cuffs, but luckily a witness told the cop that my boss attacked me first. Well that and my boss fleed the fight, when he saw the cops coming and go the fuck out of there and that made him look guilty. So I wound up not getting arrested.

Damn.

The problem for me is that this sort of shit happens to me all the time. It's interesting because you claim that you rarely feel anger but yet I CONSTANTLY feel anger. It's VERY difficult for me not to feel anger. In fact, I think that most people avoid confrontation because of fear, and they fear the other person. However, I don't fear the other person that I could potentially get into conflict with. I, on the other hand, fear confronting them in a really crazy ass way and doing fucking crazy shit, and as a result wind up going to jail and getting a criminal record.

Well, more precisely, I feel anger fairly often, but rarely strongly enough to override my internal personal cost-benefit analysis. When I do, it's typically a very Fi judgment call of "this needs to be stopped for everyone's sake." I fear confronting people because of the potential fallout affecting me negatively - like I generally hold my tongue with my current manager so that he doesn't give me a shitty schedule, which he has been known to do. I also feel a deep desire to have everyone get along, so I try to avoid conflict in the pursuit of that ideal.

I just can't calm down! I find that drugs are very appealing to me because they seem to be the only thing that calm me down. I have smoked pot, cigarettes, been addicted to Xanax and Klonopin, and I've indulged in a little too much alcohol. It's like I just want to calm down, and I don't know how! I should also mention that I have a strong potential to become addicted to sex as well.

You feel like you're always a live wire, so to speak?

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Damn.

Yeah, that was a pretty crazy event.

Well, more precisely, I feel anger fairly often, but rarely strongly enough to override my internal personal cost-benefit analysis. When I do, it's typically a very Fi judgment call of "this needs to be stopped for everyone's sake." I fear confronting people because of the potential fallout affecting me negatively - like I generally hold my tongue with my current manager so that he doesn't give me a shitty schedule, which he has been known to do. I also feel a deep desire to have everyone get along, so I try to avoid conflict in the pursuit of that ideal.

Well, I generally could give less of a shit about everyone else, and all I generally care about is me and the people that I am personally close to. Generally when I lose my shit is when I feel like I am being controlled by someone, bullied by someone, being constantly harassed by someone, or when I feel like I'm someone else's bitch. These types of things will set me off.

Also, I don't know how I would deal with your current manager. It would greatly anger me if I had to let a manager just shit all over me (so to say) just so I could get a decent schedule. That would drive me absolutely crazy because I would feel like I was under his thumb.

You feel like you're always a live wire, so to speak?

I'm always manic.

 

[skylights]

Well, I generally could give less of a shit about everyone else, and all I generally care about is me and the people that I am personally close to.

Soc-last

Generally when I lose my shit is when I feel like I am being controlled by someone, bullied by someone, being constantly harassed by someone, or when I feel like I'm someone else's bitch. These types of things will set me off.

Mm, I understand that.

Also, I don't know how I would deal with your current manager. It would greatly anger me if I had to let a manager just shit all over me (so to say) just so I could get a decent schedule. That would drive me absolutely crazy because I would feel like I was under his thumb.

Well, that's the thing, it's all about control. I maintain my independence because I excel at my job and I can do his job very well, too, which he was well aware of from the moment he stepped into the position, as I had to help train him (I had also applied for the job, but he was chosen because he had more management experience). I also have other skills that higher management values and utilizes me for, which he does not have. If he gives me a bad schedule, I can generally get out of it by switching with my coworkers, or by appealing to higher management. I don't mind dealing with him as much because even though he can be micromanaging, he's also fairly complacent, and it's relatively easy for me to escape based on my competence and skill. He's much better than the histrionic manager I once had who threw our department under the bus to higher management all the time so that she wouldn't look bad, or another manager who outright lied all the time so she'd get accolades.

This is my crappy part-time job while I'm doing my career pre-req courses, though, not my eventual career, and to be honest they make shit management decisions 99% of the time because they're a business whose executive leadership went south when the company passed from father to son. I miss my on-campus college job, which was so much more in line with my talents and interests, and where I had an ESTJ 1w2 for a boss, who was micromanaging too but she was also visionary, ethical, well-intentioned, and people-conscious. My current manager has said "it's just a job" and he works it to have some money to live the rest of his life. That's not my sort of thing and I'll be so happy to get out of that workplace. I don't want to be the stereotypical 6 who's in conflict with their authority figures all the time; I want to have a positive working relationship with my boss someday. (I'd also like to be my own boss eventually, but that's a long ways down the road).

I'm always manic.

Huh. Is it enjoyable?

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Soc-last

Maybe I am. However after reading the other thread that I just created on fame, it's making me think that I'm not social last.

Well, that's the thing, it's all about control. I maintain my independence because I excel at my job and I can do his job very well, too, which he was well aware of from the moment he stepped into the position, as I had to help train him (I had also applied for the job, but he was chosen because he had more management experience). I also have other skills that higher management values and utilizes me for, which he does not have. If he gives me a bad schedule, I can generally get out of it by switching with my coworkers, or by appealing to higher management. I don't mind dealing with him as much because even though he can be micromanaging, he's also fairly complacent, and it's relatively easy for me to escape based on my competence and skill. He's much better than the histrionic manager I once had who threw our department under the bus to higher management all the time so that she wouldn't look bad, or another manager who outright lied all the time so she'd get accolades.

This is my crappy part-time job while I'm doing my career pre-req courses, though, not my eventual career, and to be honest they make shit management decisions 99% of the time because they're a business whose executive leadership went south when the company passed from father to son. I miss my on-campus college job, which was so much more in line with my talents and interests, and where I had an ESTJ 1w2 for a boss, who was micromanaging too but she was also visionary, ethical, well-intentioned, and people-conscious. My current manager has said "it's just a job" and he works it to have some money to live the rest of his life. That's not my sort of thing and I'll be so happy to get out of that workplace. I don't want to be the stereotypical 6 who's in conflict with their authority figures all the time; I want to have a positive working relationship with my boss someday. (I'd also like to be my own boss eventually, but that's a long ways down the road).

See this is one of the main reasons that I am going to school right now. I feel like in low-wage, part-time jobs, they feel like they can treat you any old way. Almost anyone can do those jobs, so they figure that you are easily replaceable. I want to get advanced degrees and a lot of experience so that I will be much more in demand and not so easily replaceable.

Huh. Is it enjoyable?

No it's not. I am constantly in fear of being arrested.

 

[skylights]

Maybe I am. However after reading the other thread that I just created on fame, it's making me think that I'm not social last.

Mostly I'm teasing you, but I don't really suspect wanting fame or not is a very reliable indicator of your stacking.

See this is one of the main reasons that I am going to school right now. I feel like in low-wage, part-time jobs, they feel like they can treat you any old way. Almost anyone can do those jobs, so they figure that you are easily replaceable. I want to get advanced degrees and a lot of experience so that I will be much more in demand and not so easily replaceable.

Indeed. Myself as well. I actually have carved a fairly good niche there and have made myself less replaceable, but I still resent the way I am treated by the public and management alike. Maybe in true soc-dom fashion, I seek status, because frankly I'm tired of being treated like I'm an idiot and a servant. I'd like my advanced degrees because I want to be truly good at what I do, because I'd like to have the power to do what interests me, and least importantly but still significantly because I do desire the respect and better treatment those titles confer.

No it's not. I am constantly in fear of being arrested.

That sounds frustrating. You've spoken to a psychologist or psychiatrist?

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Mostly I'm teasing you, but I don't really suspect wanting fame or not is a very reliable indicator of your stacking.

What social last wants fame as badly as I?

Indeed. Myself as well. I actually have carved a fairly good niche there and have made myself less replaceable, but I still resent the way I am treated by the public and management alike. Maybe in true soc-dom fashion, I seek status, because frankly I'm tired of being treated like I'm an idiot and a servant. I'd like my advanced degrees because I want to be truly good at what I do, because I'd like to have the power to do what interests me, and least importantly but still significantly because I do desire the respect and better treatment those titles confer.

Well, I don't give a shit about building my social status. Instead, I care about building a skillset that will allow me to make a lot of money for myself and others. People won't hire you because you are socially prestigious, but they will hire you if you can make them a great deal of money. So this is my goal.

That sounds frustrating. You've spoken to a psychologist or psychiatrist?

Can't afford it right now, but hopefully I will be able to when Obamacare kicks in, in January.

 

[skylights]

@skylights



What social last wants fame as badly as I?

I don't have enough knowledge of people who desire fame to be able to answer that question, but in general the instinct seems to impart an awareness of "movement" and "currency" in the social sphere - like the way I perceive social status as one key to obtaining opportunities that may not be available otherwise.

In general I think the Soc instinct would impart a desire for social fluidity and affirmation, which could either be secured via fame or hampered by it. My point simply being, I do not think the desire for fame or lack thereof is a strong indicator of variant. It is entirely possible that you are not Social last, but I do not think it can be determined by your feelings on fame.

Incidentally, you mentioned before:

If you don't have oodles of money and people screaming your name then how do you know that you are successful?

Because you are happy and you are fulfilling your dreams.

"Success" to me looks like a well-respected and decently-paid position in a humanitarian career, a happy romantic relationship, a loving family, a comfortable home, exciting travel plans, and a few fluffball kitties.

My face on a magazine cover... well, it might be temporarily pleasing to be that famous, but I think about the lasting impact of that, and I'm not sure it would have an overwhelmingly positive moment-to-moment impact on my life. I don't desire a career in entertainment, so I wouldn't want to go that direction. I mean, if I make some Nobel-prize-worthy discovery, then by all means, plaster my face on magazines and I will be ecstatic. But I can't see desiring fame as a goal unto itself.

Well, I don't give a shit about building my social status. Instead, I care about building a skillset that will allow me to make a lot of money for myself and others. People won't hire you because you are socially prestigious, but they will hire you if you can make them a great deal of money. So this is my goal.

I think that is a fine way to go about it, though I disagree about social prestige. Reputation is important... both from an employer and customer/client/patient perspective. People are far more likely to choose someone they are familiar with, and feel some degree of trust for. Not that you must have a good reputation to be successful, but it is not something I would feel comfortable eschewing, personally.

Can't afford it right now, but hopefully I will be able to when Obamacare kicks in, in January.

I am looking forward to that, as well.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

I don't have enough knowledge of people who desire fame to be able to answer that question, but in general the instinct seems to impart an awareness of "movement" and "currency" in the social sphere - like the way I perceive social status as one key to obtaining opportunities that may not be available otherwise.

In general I think the Soc instinct would impart a desire for social fluidity and affirmation, which could either be secured via fame or hampered by it. My point simply being, I do not think the desire for fame or lack thereof is a strong indicator of variant. It is entirely possible that you are not Social last, but I do not think it can be determined by your feelings on fame.

Yeah it seems like I need a social affirmation.

Because you are happy and you are fulfilling your dreams.

"Success" to me looks like a well-respected and decently-paid position in a humanitarian career, a happy romantic relationship, a loving family, a comfortable home, exciting travel plans, and a few fluffball kitties.

My face on a magazine cover... well, it might be temporarily pleasing to be that famous, but I think about the lasting impact of that, and I'm not sure it would have an overwhelmingly positive moment-to-moment impact on my life. I don't desire a career in entertainment, so I wouldn't want to go that direction. I mean, if I make some Nobel-prize-worthy discovery, then by all means, plaster my face on magazines and I will be ecstatic. But I can't see desiring fame as a goal unto itself.

But that just sounds like an everyday person's life. That just seems boring to me. I feel like I haven't accomplished much if I'm just an ordinary 9 to 5 Joe. I need to accomplish something amazing that makes people just look at me and say, "That guy is fucking awesome!" in order to feel successful.

I think that is a fine way to go about it, though I disagree about social prestige. Reputation is important... both from an employer and customer/client/patient perspective. People are far more likely to choose someone they are familiar with, and feel some degree of trust for. Not that you must have a good reputation to be successful, but it is not something I would feel comfortable eschewing, personally.

Yeah reputation is important. I mean I don't want to get a criminal record or anything, but I'm not gonna go around all day playing politics. That shit is just annoying. It seems like at the end of the day what companies really say to themselves is, "How much money can this guy make my company? And can he do it without bringing a reputation so horrible that people won't buy from my company because he is associated with it?" That's what I'm seeing. I'll personally leave the politics to others.

 

[Tiltyred]

Are you talking about, for example, sometimes I flash on a vision of grabbing a big handful of somebody's shirt at the chest and slamming them hard against a wall? They will never know it, and I would never do it, but it's very satisfying to occasionally think about ... and not something I can entirely help, either.

 

[The Great One]

Are you talking about, for example, sometimes I flash on a vision of grabbing a big handful of somebody's shirt at the chest and slamming them hard against a wall? They will never know it, and I would never do it, but it's very satisfying to occasionally think about ... and not something I can entirely help, either.

It's similar to that, but my impulse is so strong that I have to fight myself not to act on the impulse. It's really terrifying.