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  1. #11
    Stansmith
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    Angry Four

    E4 - I hate you. Leave. You're a whore.

    SO - Why? blah, blah, blah.

    E4 - No. Leave. I never want to see you again and I hope you rot in your filth.

    SO - blah, blah, blah

    E4 - I'm not dealing with you anymore. Out!

    *Forces them out and slams the door in their face in one swift motion*

    Angry Phobic Six

    E6 - I'm gonna need you to leave.

    SO - Why? blah, blah, blah

    E6 - Yeah, but just--no. You've been doing blah blah blah for all this time, and I just can't have it anymore. I'm tired of it.

    SO - blah, blah, blah

    E6 - No, no, no, no, no. Just no this time. I'm sorry, but I'm just not gonna be doing this anymore.



    ----------------------

    Notice the connection to 1 vs the connection to 9.
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  2. #12
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I don't identify a lot with anxiety. Sure, I've been anxious, but I don't think it has ever been a big issue for me. I think I struggle more with violent emotions, destructive impulses, judginess, envy, arrogance and shame.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    I've got a cousin who is a definite 4, and she's struggled with anxiety among other things. My sister is also a probable soc-4, and I've definitely seen that whole, "They're looking at us and judging us" thing come out, which I feel is a sort of anxiety. And speaking for myself, I am likewise a 4 (lots and lots of 4ness in our family, lol) and I'd say I'm higher anxiety than my sister--I was kind of a worrywart as a kid, I had separation anxieties, and I'm something of a hypochondriac. (I am 5-winged and 6-fixed, though, so lots of fears of the outer world.) Apparently I come across as "insecure" in social situations, as much as I hate to admit it.

    But the difference is that I don't experience "existential" anxiety as my core issue. I've got more problems with feelings of exclusion, isolation, shame, self-pity, and all that other ugly stuff, rather than fears and anxieties. Having a 6-fix can raise a 4s issues with "fear" and "insecurity" pertaining to the unknown, so yes, it's possible. But it will likely be a lesser issue in the life of the 4. If a 4 struggles with fear as a major psychological neurosis, s/he should consider the possibility of being a head-type instead.

  4. #14
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    I don't have anxiety issues at all. I'm the kind of person who could benefit from a healthy dose of fear. The only anxiety I have is related to my body and it's visceral and immediate. I'm phobic of having part of my body numbed (at the doctor for procedures). I have a solid panic attack until I can feel all of my body again. I hate "not knowing" - I'd rather feel the pain. Same with vomiting; if I am nauseous I panic, and do anything in my power to prevent vomiting and usually it works.

    I have anxiety for a few hours before I go on stage, because I'm performing my own songs and spilling out my soul... though it manifests more as not wanting to be bothered, desperate need for solitude before shows. The other problem is tremendous visceral fear of rejection, but it's not really anxiety.. it's more like.. I find myself speechless and unable to actually open up my heart. It has nothing to do with thinking, over-thinking, panicking. I just find myself having no thoughts at all, speechless, stuck, like a wet mouse in a snake cage, helpless, frightened and shocked.

    Aside from that I would not say I have any anxiety. Since I was a child I was fearless. I was the kind of 8-year-old who loved traveling by plane to see relatives by myself, and hanging around their areas alone. I spent nights in the woods as a kid because I didn't want to do things my parents were trying to force me to do. My wig fell off when I was starring in the school play in Kindergarten and I made a comment about it *in character* and then resumed my lines. I'm independent, fearless, and almost impossible to embarrass. My 5w4 friend calls me "decidedly mindless."

    However my 4w5 ex has twice as much anxiety as any 6 I've met. He has more anxiety than five 6's combined. If he encountered enneagram he would probably mistype at 6.
    Art is the blood of the Exile
    4w3 6w7 8w9 ~ Sx/Sp ~ ISTP ~ LSI-Se

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    But it is usually shame-fueled anxiety for me.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #16
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    But it is usually shame-fueled anxiety for me.
    What is this shame e4s talk of and the envy? Curious.

  7. #17
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    What is this shame e4s talk of and the envy? Curious.
    A burning desire to achieve your vision of perfection. The other side of that coin however is the total feel of devastation and shame when you realize you will never be that vision no matter how you try coz you re a flawed human being, and the intense feel of despair and disgust for not being that perfect - especially when you then see others around you who have realized [insert a piece of the perfect vision], which is where envy comes in.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #18
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    This makes sense to me.

    Also, agree with @decrescendo who noted so-dom 4's as maybe being more prone to it. I know that I've always had quite a bit of social anxiety, and relate to the preoccupations and particular issues so-dom 4's have (per specific so 4 descriptions online).
    Yeah, that may be why social fours often seem six-ish to me. I get more irritable, angry, depressed and nihilistic than anxious. I'm wondering if sexual four's default state is kind of a hypomanic irritability (or a dysphoric hypomania).

  9. #19
    Stansmith
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    Social 4: phobic 6 or 9-esque

    Sexual 4: 8-esque

    SP-4: 1-esque
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  10. #20

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    Well...I used to deal with problems such as over emotionality, shame, low self esteem, envy, depression, self hate/destruction... Which are pretty characteristic for 4s, but as long as I went without paying any attention to make them better, or to find some way to deal with them they've become much more feelings of inner insecurity, fear, anxiety and it's more now about outter world around me...Finding security in a world I live in, it's not about inner feelings of shame, or depression anymore for me. Sure envy and shame are still pretty big part of me, but it's not so bad now, what is really hard for me now is just finding the balance and meaning and security in the world and sociaty I live in.

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