What does that look like?
I've heard that in stressful situations / depressions, the 4w5 can exhibit a sort of dark impulsiveness. I have recently been reading Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground and he talks about it too - he goes to brothels by cover of night, alone, solitary, all the while pushing people away from him (namely, all his family and friends) until he had nothing left whatsoever.
So it's making me think. the only way that I have ever broken up with a person is extremely impulsively. I'll start to get depressed, and then feel trapped, especially because I let a lot of things slide in relationships (things that hurt my feelings, but that I'm scared to talk about for fear of being melodramatic and also because I really generally don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. at all.). It will take over my life, to the point that I can't think about things except for how horribly the relationship is going,
and then poof. no warning.
I'll just break up with the guy.
I won't even see it coming, except for like, a day before it happens.
Usually it's accompanied by a letter that explains all the problems that I have seen in our relationship from the start, and apologizes profusely for hurting him. I'll feel terrible about it afterward, but at the time, there is this inability to see that I'm destroying something beautiful and myself along with it. I also can't see a path out of it - it's the ONLY way (in my delusional mind, at the time). I just turn off and sort of explode out all of the pain that I've had over the course of the relationship. (and then I'll usually go into a depressive funk for several months afterward, blaming myself for 'breaking' someone else).
Luckily Im married now, so things are a little different, but...
Is this something akin to the dark impulsiveness that people are talking about when they talk about unhealthy 4w5? What about everyone else? Do you experience it as well? How?