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[Type 4] Escaping unhealthy levels
- Thread starter Chiharu
- Start date
OrangeAppled
Sugar Hiccup
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2009
- Messages
- 7,626
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Okay, less theoretical & more practical input:
- Interact more with people (in person, not online). Even when you're not in the mood. This can help you to regulate the mood in real time when around others. The mood doesn't rule you.
- Be honest & open with people. The shroud of mystery just alienates & you're not being self-absorbed when you open up. They are likely not going to reject the you at core that you think is so ugly (or whatever).
- Don't make people come to you so much, including doing things to attract them; go to them instead. Do it with the idea that you have something significant to bring them, not because you need them to feel more whole or whatever.
- Develop some kind of schedule for eating, sleeping, work, etc. You might want to start a workout routine. This is going to help you stabilize moods.
- Find something unselfish & "noble" & start devoting time to it. Bonus if it conflicts with your image of yourself or makes you compromise it in the name of something higher. Looks for way to be principled.
- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones as they occur & focus on what you HAVE & appreciating it over what is missing or lost.
- Let go of the past. It's not who you are anymore & doesn't dictate what will be. Don't over-fantasize about the future. Just be in it as it unfolds.
I have no idea if that addresses your actual situation, but hopefully some of it helps a bit.
- Interact more with people (in person, not online). Even when you're not in the mood. This can help you to regulate the mood in real time when around others. The mood doesn't rule you.
- Be honest & open with people. The shroud of mystery just alienates & you're not being self-absorbed when you open up. They are likely not going to reject the you at core that you think is so ugly (or whatever).
- Don't make people come to you so much, including doing things to attract them; go to them instead. Do it with the idea that you have something significant to bring them, not because you need them to feel more whole or whatever.
- Develop some kind of schedule for eating, sleeping, work, etc. You might want to start a workout routine. This is going to help you stabilize moods.
- Find something unselfish & "noble" & start devoting time to it. Bonus if it conflicts with your image of yourself or makes you compromise it in the name of something higher. Looks for way to be principled.
- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones as they occur & focus on what you HAVE & appreciating it over what is missing or lost.
- Let go of the past. It's not who you are anymore & doesn't dictate what will be. Don't over-fantasize about the future. Just be in it as it unfolds.
I have no idea if that addresses your actual situation, but hopefully some of it helps a bit.
Fluffywolf
Nips away your dignity
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 9,581
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Escaping unhealthy levels is a long and ardious process. Not something that can be decided on just like that.
But, although it's a bit cliché, realization of ones unhealthy levels is the first and most important step towards betterment.
A good way to train is to move yourself into positions in which you exhibit those unhealthy levels, catch yourself in the act, stop yourself (very hard to do), take a step back and find a better way to deal with the situation (may require sacrifices in the form of time or even humility).
Basicly, what OrangeAppled said is a good starting point to do this.
Unhealthy levels are often like an addiction. It's your 'easy way out' (even though it never really is an easy way out, but it does feel like that to you at that time). The only way to deal with addiction is by depriving yourself of it forcefully.
As you do this, you will start to develop the tools you need to avoid these unhealthy levels alltogether, and it just keeps on getting better and better. and you'll exhibit these unhealthy levels less and less.
Although this is pretty general. It's pretty much how I dealt with some of my shortcomings over the last 10 years of my life.
But, although it's a bit cliché, realization of ones unhealthy levels is the first and most important step towards betterment.
A good way to train is to move yourself into positions in which you exhibit those unhealthy levels, catch yourself in the act, stop yourself (very hard to do), take a step back and find a better way to deal with the situation (may require sacrifices in the form of time or even humility).
Basicly, what OrangeAppled said is a good starting point to do this.
Unhealthy levels are often like an addiction. It's your 'easy way out' (even though it never really is an easy way out, but it does feel like that to you at that time). The only way to deal with addiction is by depriving yourself of it forcefully.
As you do this, you will start to develop the tools you need to avoid these unhealthy levels alltogether, and it just keeps on getting better and better. and you'll exhibit these unhealthy levels less and less.
Although this is pretty general. It's pretty much how I dealt with some of my shortcomings over the last 10 years of my life.
Fluffywolf
Nips away your dignity
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 9,581
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Enneagram has a sort of level system with various stages. The lower levels usually being linked to depressions, lack of self-confidence, frustrations, detachement, etc. And it explains in what way the enneagram type will react to their surroundings when experiencing this.
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