I actually didn't realize I was so obnoxious until I had an enfp explain to me, "you are completely ruining the tranquility of this chatroom and its abrasive and obnoxious." After that I was like, "... oh... very well I'll stop then."
Ok so I guess the gentleness they're describing is, the ability to control yourself and moderate when given the chance to use excessive force. I also wonder if this has sexual importance as well. The ability to hold myself back and control myself is sexier than showing no control whatsoever.
In otherwords, the second I start yelling and screaming is the second I've lost.
I've recently inverted my approach to teaching the boys. I used to micromanage and tell each kid directly that what they were doing was wrong and they need to sit down etc. I've now realized they are all constantly competing for my attention, so when I say "I like how guss is sitting" they all immediately go down and sit down next to guss.
But I don't think this is relevant to being an 8. I think E8 has more to do with, "I could scream at you right now but I choose not to."
I think the you are ruining the tranquility of this chatroom is an Fe ploy. I don't find that it works on me, even as an adult, unless I think peace is the main objective.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
So what's it mean to show strength by being gentle?
I'm a gymnastics instructor and I've tried being gentle. shit doesn't work. You gotta tell that bitchass kid to pull his pants up, stop picking his nose, stfu and do a back hip circle or else I'm gonna tell his mom he's being a little faggot.
I'm hoping that if I pet him on the head or something he'll magically do what I want.
Have you ever seen Full Metal Jacket?
I've always viewed the drill Sgt. as the greatest benefactor for the protagonist. He toughens up the recruits so they don't wind up with PTSD or some shit later on down the road. He's not cruel, nor does he lack self-control. He simply acts dickish because that's what his purpose is. There's an element of gentleness there.
I just have to add. When I was younger my parents put me in gymnastics and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it, because my parents were not there and I felt uncomfortable in a room full of people I didn't know. I did the bare minimum and felt anxious the entire time.
"The unconscious mind should be called the super-conconsious mind."