Every time I go to communicate…I automatically generate a hundred holes because it is just not possible for me to put everything I think/feel into words <--which is why I started writing poetry at such an early age btw because I could load a 100 thoughts & images into one verse and people understood! iow, I didn’t fall in love with the art…I fell in love with the ‘shorthand’ or translative qualities it afforded me (and no, ‘translative’ is not a real word). The people that are close to me are close to me because they somehow fill in those holes. They hear what I’m not communicating.
I truly mean everything I put forth in this thread. I imagine you understand the ‘neatness’ of it because you share some of the same feelings when it comes to the e6 type…and the fact it seems to not have the reputation it deserves. And when you consider all the misinformation that feeds the misconception…it’s quite understandable why many people would fail to see themselves as e6 when they should. Counterphobia complicates things in this regard (for me I do believe in ‘pure counterphobia’ having enough examples of this in my family alone…but I am referring to cp in all its variations.) And I wanted to speak to how brilliant the entire e6 type is…and highlight the potential I know exists in the curse/gift of counterphobia. <--That absolutely does not mean that I don’t believe it shouldn’t be understood, managed and in a healthy state prior to it being of much benefit to anyone really...especially the individual. And I very much appreciate you filling in that hole.
When I first came to this site and subsequently the enneagram I believed I was a counterphobic e6, yes. It was all very confusing because…I primarily tested as a 7w6…I understood the e7 core issues fit me… and when I read the e9 integration pathway I’d think ‘Okay, that’s about the last thing I need…’ (what I’d do with e9 integration would be to construct a hammock between two trees and sleep for the rest of my life). But the connection to many of the aspects of counterphobia…this sort of idealistic identification with loyalty, justice, integrity, courage…with a real hatred of authority and the exploitation by those in power… All of that was so strong in me I thought there was no other choice. Until I heard Tom Condon mention cp-wings.So, wait, are you identifying as a CP 6 yourself? Or having a CP 6 wing?
But like a member/friend mentioned…all of the above severely hinders my ability to comprehend an e6s desire to establish trust in relation to the world. There’s a bit of a reverse process going on as I started from a place of total trust…literally believing (not metaphorically but literally believing)…the world was a magical place…kinda like Neverland or Disneyland <--until life experience finally robbed me of the last of my ability to see that magic. Faith can only seem like a really bad idea to someone that has been crushed by it. But it’s all a balancing act I imagine. Well, maybe…I’m not ready to believe anything just yet haha. But I always appreciate being reminded of differing perspectives when I’ve lost track of them.
The hype & misunderstanding caused me to mistype as well. Although…flashy, intimidating, flamboyant…those weren’t necessarily the qualities that deterred me as I could have somehow reworked them to fit under the banner ‘intensity’. I’ve always had an understanding of being a bit more intense than others…things/experiences filled with more meaning in my mind… What blocked my ability to see it was this supposed commitment to a sexually attractive physical appearance and traditional female roles which had me thinking ‘Oh fuck no.’As for sexual dominance, I think that there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding the instinct variants.
I most definitely believe in sx-doms that are romantic dreamers with an immersive/addictive streak because I’m one of them. What I have not noticed in you which is a compliment in my mind…is a polarizing effect…however subtle. It doesn’t make me disbelieve…it just makes it difficult for me to see is all. It’s merely something I’ve noted in everyone that I believe is an sx-dom whether that is true in reality or not. Basically, what I believe happens is the focus on the ‘intimate realm’ is so important that many sx-doms become polarizing just to maintain the sanctity of that space. For many of us this is entirely via unconscious action. iow, I think a lot of us learn early on that the fastest way to identify a true intimate is to be as offensive as you possibly can…and see who is still around after the dust settles haha. Okay, maybe not that bad. But something along those lines. Sx-doms have a reputation for being someone people either love or hate and I am suggesting that that is no accident. Everyone loves skylights though (just explaining…not disbelieving.)