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    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Default Enneagram 6: What are your variants and what scares you?

    For all of the enneagram type 6's out there, what is your variant stacking and what types of things frighten you? For instance, I believe that I am a 6w7 Sp/sx and I become extremely disoriented when I don't have money, food, shelter, and don't have my survival needs met. If money is low, then I tend to become extremely frightened and it will send me into a panic instantly. Literally, the more money, and the more resources that I have, the safer that I feel. Also, if I am in a situation of danger and I'm not sure how it will turn out, I will often go bat shit crazy as well. For instance, once I pissed off a drug dealer and he told me that he was going to shoot up my house. This terrified me to the max, not knowing if and when he would strike: my mind literally went crazy thinking about the possibility of death, and grasping at straws to try to preserve myself. Luckily he was just bluffing, and it never happened, but it clearly illustrates the principle that if I feel like my self preservation is threatened I go nuts. For instance, some people would have automatically assumed he was bluffing, and just went on with day. However, I was sent into a state of pure panic.

    When it comes to sx needs: I often feel the need to be in a relationship, but if I am not it will bug me quite a bit and make me feel sad. However, I am not thrown into a sense of panic without it. Often times though, I often fear things that could hurt my appearance and hurt my chances of attracting a mate. For instance, many times, I am terrified of things like fire that could distort my looks, and I am afraid of getting hit by a car for fear of being crippled and never being able to experience sex again. I should mention however, that my secondary sx need is more of a strong hunger but not an absolute necessity: I hunger for passion, I hunger for intensity, and I hunger to be in a relationship. I should mention though, that if I am in a relationship, I will often times become obsessed with the person that I am with within a very short period of time of knowing them: They are all that I can think about, I get a very "hot" feeling inside when I am around them and just being in their presence makes me feel better, and I constantly fear losing them.

    What about you other type 6's?

    @skylights
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    @AffirmativeAnxiety

    You folks might want to check out my thread as well.

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    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    I have a question about 6 and instinctual variants. I have a friend who, after some investigation, believes she is a 6w7. She's now trying to determine her instinctual variants and automatically tested as Sp first. Isn't that pretty common though for a 6? Just as it would be common for a 4 to type pretty high Sx? I myself had to read a crap ton of info about Sx before I accepted it as truly my strongest instinct, and not just my 4-ness.

    So my question (in short) is: How does a 6 know if they are truly Sp first, or just a 6? Could it be that they only seem Sp because of their 6 tendencies?

    Also, what does an So first or Sx first 6 look like? @skylights, I believe you are So/Sx. That's the type I suspect my aforementioned friend is. Did you struggle with just typing as Sp first because of your 6-ness or did you identify with So/Sx right away?

    All thoughts welcome, thanks! -^_^-
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

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    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I'm a 6 (cp) variants sx/sp. I'm pretty well balanced and healthy. What scares me. Hmm. I think finding good things (amazing good things) in life and thinking that they will disappear. Deep down I feel I may have 'bad luck'. I'm sure that stems from childhood issues. I may well be at peace with understanding why I feel a certain way and have gotten better at not letting it become a 'superstition' but I still receive that 'alarm'.

    I just have a sense of wellness that erodes that fear. It's pretty cool. Generally, I've let go of a lot of fear. I feel it but I don't let it control me or alter my decisions. I just let it wash over and move on.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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    Summoned twice and didn't answer, skylights fail Good thing I didn't answer earlier, anyway, I would have had my variant wrong!

    I believe that I am so/sx.

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder
    That's the type I suspect my aforementioned friend is. Did you struggle with just typing as Sp first because of your 6-ness or did you identify with So/Sx right away?
    Actually, I misidentified as sx/so. That I am sp-last has always been fairly clear to me because I am a relative failure at keeping up with myself - I only really do it for the sake of others. But I do often test as sp-dom. The difference is that sp-doms will be really focused on, and direct a lot of mental energy to, survival needs - food, housing, finances, clothing, transportation, hygiene, and so on. While other 6 variants will probably still maintain those things to some degree, they won't focus on them nearly as much.

    As for my fears - being alone, being trapped, locked-in syndrome, being buried alive. I could relate it to so-first by noting that in all of those situations, I am completely isolated from everyone I care about.

  5. #5
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    For all of the enneagram type 6's out there, what is your variant stacking and what types of things frighten you? For instance, I believe that I am a 6w7 Sp/sx and I become extremely disoriented when I don't have money, food, shelter, and don't have my survival needs met. If money is low, then I tend to become extremely frightened and it will send me into a panic instantly. Literally, the more money, and the more resources that I have, the safer that I feel. Also, if I am in a situation of danger and I'm not sure how it will turn out, I will often go bat shit crazy as well. For instance, once I pissed off a drug dealer and he told me that he was going to shoot up my house. This terrified me to the max, not knowing if and when he would strike: my mind literally went crazy thinking about the possibility of death, and grasping at straws to try to preserve myself. Luckily he was just bluffing, and it never happened, but it clearly illustrates the principle that if I feel like my self preservation is threatened I go nuts. For instance, some people would have automatically assumed he was bluffing, and just went on with day. However, I was sent into a state of pure panic.

    When it comes to sx needs: I often feel the need to be in a relationship, but if I am not it will bug me quite a bit and make me feel sad. However, I am not thrown into a sense of panic without it. Often times though, I often fear things that could hurt my appearance and hurt my chances of attracting a mate. For instance, many times, I am terrified of things like fire that could distort my looks, and I am afraid of getting hit by a car for fear of being crippled and never being able to experience sex again. I should mention however, that my secondary sx need is more of a strong hunger but not an absolute necessity: I hunger for passion, I hunger for intensity, and I hunger to be in a relationship. I should mention though, that if I am in a relationship, I will often times become obsessed with the person that I am with within a very short period of time of knowing them: They are all that I can think about, I get a very "hot" feeling inside when I am around them and just being in their presence makes me feel better, and I constantly fear losing them.

    What about you other type 6's?

    @skylights
    @Speed Gavroche
    @highlander
    @AffirmativeAnxiety

    You folks might want to check out my thread as well.
    I'm 6w5 sp/sx

    I fear death, I have a random ass fear of being in the dark alone that's frankly carried on for too long. I have overcome it a little within the last year mostly by reading and practicing what Byron Katie talks about in her book Loving What Is. I used to not go out past dark. It was debilitating. I still have a hard time too. For some reason I'm afraid of either someone attacking/killing/threatening me or some kinda animal with rabies attacking me in the middle of the night. If there are other people with me that I trust and that I know are intellegent I don't fear it. So maybe it's not the dark, maybe I'm afraid of but being alone? I'm still trying to figure that out. I love being alone in the day though.

    I have a fear of growing old and ending up like my parents (old, sick, no money for retirement). I have a fear when it comes to any kind of illness. I panic when I see blood and I start to loose circulation to my head...I haven't fainted yet tho. And anytime I'm sick or in pain I am scared it will last forever, also scared that I'm not diagnosing it properly...which leads back to fear of death.

    as for the sx part...I'm realizing more and more how impulsive I am. It's to the point I ignore my own well being. So quite often I'm in situations where I've broken up with a person and still have sex with them even though I know my feelings are going to be hurt afterward cause they don't really care about me. I dunno if that's sx or what but it bothers me. I'm only really motivated and impulsy when it comes to relationships though...I wish I could use that impulse to a better use...like "oh I gotta floss right now" but I don't lol I'm actually trying to balance that out currently in my life. It's hard.


    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    I have a question about 6 and instinctual variants. I have a friend who, after some investigation, believes she is a 6w7. She's now trying to determine her instinctual variants and automatically tested as Sp first. Isn't that pretty common though for a 6? Just as it would be common for a 4 to type pretty high Sx? I myself had to read a crap ton of info about Sx before I accepted it as truly my strongest instinct, and not just my 4-ness.

    So my question (in short) is: How does a 6 know if they are truly Sp first, or just a 6? Could it be that they only seem Sp because of their 6 tendencies?

    Also, what does an So first or Sx first 6 look like? @skylights, I believe you are So/Sx. That's the type I suspect my aforementioned friend is. Did you struggle with just typing as Sp first because of your 6-ness or did you identify with So/Sx right away?

    All thoughts welcome, thanks! -^_^-
    This is SUCH a good question. ha ha

    I ask myself this all the time. Why? Cause I'm a 6. ha get it? We are proned to self doubt. ha ..ha..

    Anyways I always come up with the same answer.

    Here's an example:

    The other day I went to my friends house. They just bought two snapping turtles. So anytime I was in the room with these turtles I was plagued cause I was concerned ( for no damn reason) that they'd get out. I went by the tank every now and then to count them lol...that's how damn anxiety stricken I can be. (Of Course I did it when no one could see...you learn to do these things because others do not understand lol) So I only see one. And then my friend walks into the room and I asked them how many they were supposed to have. And they told me and I kept looking, and as I am, my friend sort of made some kind of gasp sound. For some reason I took this as a "Gasp there's one behind you" Kinda thing. lol...(which there wasn't) I finally saw the second one under a log in the tank. So I told my friend (isfp 9w8 so/sx) that I thought they were going to say it was behind me. And the conversation led to me wanting to know if the turtle was out because I don't want it to bite me. And he wanted to know if the turtle was out because he would be concerned for the turtle.

    THAT LITERALLY NEVER CAME TO MY MIND. I was concerned about preserving myself. In literal terms. That's how I know I have sp first. I will not become an EMT cause I have sp first...stuff like that.

    Another scenario(not my life this time) would go something like:

    A girl joins a group because she's madly in love with someone. This group is making a decision about something and the guy she's in love with says one thing, the group says another

    I'm assuming that : sx dom goes with the choice that the dude she loves picks
    so dom goes with the choice of the group
    sp dom goes with what they actually believe


    That's just the impression I've gotten from the varients I could be wrong though.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
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    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    The other day I went to my friends house. They just bought two snapping turtles. So anytime I was in the room with these turtles I was plagued cause I was concerned ( for no damn reason) that they'd get out. I went by the tank every now and then to count them lol...that's how damn anxiety stricken I can be. (Of Course I did it when no one could see...you learn to do these things because others do not understand lol) So I only see one. And then my friend walks into the room and I asked them how many they were supposed to have. And they told me and I kept looking, and as I am, my friend sort of made some kind of gasp sound. For some reason I took this as a "Gasp there's one behind you" Kinda thing. lol...(which there wasn't) I finally saw the second one under a log in the tank. So I told my friend (isfp 9w8 so/sx) that I thought they were going to say it was behind me. And the conversation led to me wanting to know if the turtle was out because I don't want it to bite me. And he wanted to know if the turtle was out because he would be concerned for the turtle.

    THAT LITERALLY NEVER CAME TO MY MIND. I was concerned about preserving myself. In literal terms. That's how I know I have sp first. I will not become an EMT cause I have sp first...stuff like that.


    I have the opposite problem - given, I'm terrified of fatally poisonous creatures - but I'm sort of oblivious to myself. I feel like I'm way better suited to a job advocating for someone else, because I just fail when it comes to self preservation. It's not that I can't, I just don't care enough to devote attention to it. Turtle nips me, oh well, injury. It'll heal, and at least it'll be fun to clean up and bandage. I'd worry more about looking uneducated or incompetent while getting bitten. A lot of times I do end up taking care of sp needs fairly well but for completely so or sx reasons, like looking successful or being more appealing to my significant other.

    Another scenario(not my life this time) would go something like:

    A girl joins a group because she's madly in love with someone. This group is making a decision about something and the guy she's in love with says one thing, the group says another

    I'm assuming that : sx dom goes with the choice that the dude she loves picks
    so dom goes with the choice of the group
    sp dom goes with what they actually believe

    That's just the impression I've gotten from the varients I could be wrong though.
    Yeah, probably close. For me it'd be like trying to mediate between the group and the guy so that the decision is diplomatic but he still feels heard and valued. It'd be preferable for his decision to be chosen but only if it's really beneficial for everyone. I couldn't harm the group for the sake of the guy, regardless of how wonderful he may be. I did cave to that impulse with one very charismatic crush of mine and really regretted it afterwards - I felt like I'd betrayed the group.

    Though important point, I don't really go along with group opinion as much as I try to figure out what is in the best interest of everyone in the group, if that makes sense. Sometimes group opinion is mislead by one or two overly-strong voices, or by power struggle and infighting, or by majority rule and marginalizing the minority. I want to figure out what the optimum solution is in terms of having everyone at least be neutrally affected by the choice and as many as possible benefitting from it, but no one being harmed by it if at all possible. Too often IMO group decisions are geared towards maximized benefit on the behalf of either the powerful or the majority, but the people who are benefitting could opt to receive slightly lesser benefit for the sake of not lessening quality of life for the others. (I think this sort of thinking is part of what made me believe I was sx/so - I tend to subvert the group, in a way, for the benefit of the group).

  7. #7
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post


    I have the opposite problem - given, I'm terrified of fatally poisonous creatures - but I'm sort of oblivious to myself. I feel like I'm way better suited to a job advocating for someone else, because I just fail when it comes to self preservation. It's not that I can't, I just don't care enough to devote attention to it. Turtle nips me, oh well, injury. It'll heal, and at least it'll be fun to clean up and bandage. I'd worry more about looking uneducated or incompetent while getting bitten. A lot of times I do end up taking care of sp needs fairly well but for completely so or sx reasons, like looking successful or being more appealing to my significant other.



    Yeah, probably close. For me it'd be like trying to mediate between the group and the guy so that the decision is diplomatic but he still feels heard and valued. It'd be preferable for his decision to be chosen but only if it's really beneficial for everyone. I couldn't harm the group for the sake of the guy, regardless of how wonderful he may be. I did cave to that impulse with one very charismatic crush of mine and really regretted it afterwards - I felt like I'd betrayed the group.

    Though important point, I don't really go along with group opinion as much as I try to figure out what is in the best interest of everyone in the group, if that makes sense. Sometimes group opinion is mislead by one or two overly-strong voices, or by power struggle and infighting, or by majority rule and marginalizing the minority. I want to figure out what the optimum solution is in terms of having everyone at least be neutrally affected by the choice and as many as possible benefitting from it, but no one being harmed by it if at all possible. Too often IMO group decisions are geared towards maximized benefit on the behalf of either the powerful or the majority, but the people who are benefitting could opt to receive slightly lesser benefit for the sake of not lessening quality of life for the others. (I think this sort of thinking is part of what made me believe I was sx/so - I tend to subvert the group, in a way, for the benefit of the group).
    I find that difference to always be amusing. That's y I was so shocked when he was concerned for the wellbeing of the turtle. He could be sx first. I considered us all to be in a groupp me him and the turtle and the turtle was the only one that wasn't living in harmony so he would want to re-establish that by saving it and putting it back in the tank. <--just a thought I had. The ISFP also has a hero complex! guh. So it could just be that. But he didn't care about his own safety. I found that so unfamiliar and strange lol. I wish I did more stuff like that. I'd be an awesome firefighter or EMT if i was counterphobic lol. oh well

    I don't take care of myself sometimes though. It seems like I take care of bills (mine and other ppls), and sick people (not my own, only others), and mommy type stuff like that. But when it comes to having any kind of routine. Like I can't put make up on in the morning, cause I don't have a routine, I can't eat well cause I don't have a routine, I can't clean enough cause I don't make it a routine, the list goes on...Stupid crap like that. I'm not good at. But paying the bills and taking reseponsibility where no one does. That's me. <--woah( Just came to the realization of maybe myself having a hero complex, not kool, must be why it bothers me that he has one) Ha gotta love shadows. Anyways does that sound like sx? I really want to know cause I really want to figure out how to put my energy towards that stuff moer naturally.

    Also skylights, I read that somewhere about u and the group and the guy, and it inspired my theory... Or I stole urs lol Either one I use that situation a lot now. lol

    And the group dynamic thing, I can see how an so could still do that. so's have this amazing unwavering "ness" to them. They can be very stick to their guns cause of their beliefs...Which I have zero. lol It's like when so's believe in something they see it through kind of thing.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    I find that difference to always be amusing. That's y I was so shocked when he was concerned for the wellbeing of the turtle. He could be sx first. I considered us all to be in a groupp me him and the turtle and the turtle was the only one that wasn't living in harmony so he would want to re-establish that by saving it and putting it back in the tank. <--just a thought I had. The ISFP also has a hero complex! guh. So it could just be that. But he didn't care about his own safety. I found that so unfamiliar and strange lol. I wish I did more stuff like that. I'd be an awesome firefighter or EMT if i was counterphobic lol. oh well
    Hm, that's interesting. I'd be wary of a snapping turtle too but I can't imagine having as much of a focus as you described on it. I'd probably be caught up in something else... discussion or whatever. Or I'd be trying to make friends with them and feed them carrots or something funny.

    I don't take care of myself sometimes though. It seems like I take care of bills (mine and other ppls), and sick people (not my own, only others), and mommy type stuff like that. But when it comes to having any kind of routine. Like I can't put make up on in the morning, cause I don't have a routine, I can't eat well cause I don't have a routine, I can't clean enough cause I don't make it a routine, the list goes on...Stupid crap like that. I'm not good at. But paying the bills and taking reseponsibility where no one does. That's me. <--woah( Just came to the realization of maybe myself having a hero complex, not kool, must be why it bothers me that he has one) Ha gotta love shadows. Anyways does that sound like sx? I really want to know cause I really want to figure out how to put my energy towards that stuff moer naturally.
    That's interesting. You sure you're not ENFP? I struggle with routine too, but I always put on makeup, lol. You sound a lot like my sp/so mom, actually. She does all of those things, too - paying the bills, getting the groceries, doing the finances, sorting and reading the mail, and general tending to everyone else's needs.

    No idea if this would work for you but lately I've been trying to piggyback my personal care into other activities or needs so that I don't feel like it's a waste of time while I'm getting it done - like doing laundry at the same time as my boyfriend, so I can just enjoy talking with him, or eating while I'm driving to work, or cleaning while listening to music or waiting for laundry to dry, or going to the bank during my lunch break, or applying for school and jobs while my boyfriend is sleeping. It makes it easier to not try to care... lol...

    Also skylights, I read that somewhere about u and the group and the guy, and it inspired my theory... Or I stole urs lol Either one I use that situation a lot now. lol
    Hey, I'm happy for you to use it if it's helpful. Might as well have some good come of it.

    And the group dynamic thing, I can see how an so could still do that. so's have this amazing unwavering "ness" to them. They can be very stick to their guns cause of their beliefs...Which I have zero. lol It's like when so's believe in something they see it through kind of thing.
    Yeah... I don't know why. It feels like a compulsion. I don't know how others experience it but for me it almost is a protective impulse. I feel like the most important thing to do is to protect everyone from harm and I'm not satisfied until it's acted on and things are restored back to safety. It's funny that I thought that was sx, if you see it in other Socials.

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    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Hm, that's interesting. I'd be wary of a snapping turtle too but I can't imagine having as much of a focus as you described on it. I'd probably be caught up in something else... discussion or whatever. Or I'd be trying to make friends with them and feed them carrots or something funny.



    That's interesting. You sure you're not ENFP? I struggle with routine too, but I always put on makeup, lol. You sound a lot like my sp/so mom, actually. She does all of those things, too - paying the bills, getting the groceries, doing the finances, sorting and reading the mail, and general tending to everyone else's needs.

    No idea if this would work for you but lately I've been trying to piggyback my personal care into other activities or needs so that I don't feel like it's a waste of time while I'm getting it done - like doing laundry at the same time as my boyfriend, so I can just enjoy talking with him, or eating while I'm driving to work, or cleaning while listening to music or waiting for laundry to dry, or going to the bank during my lunch break, or applying for school and jobs while my boyfriend is sleeping. It makes it easier to not try to care... lol...



    Hey, I'm happy for you to use it if it's helpful. Might as well have some good come of it.



    Yeah... I don't know why. It feels like a compulsion. I don't know how others experience it but for me it almost is a protective impulse. I feel like the most important thing to do is to protect everyone from harm and I'm not satisfied until it's acted on and things are restored back to safety. It's funny that I thought that was sx, if you see it in other Socials.
    Yea I'm not ENFP lmao but I read on socionics that my "vulnerable function" is Si...so that's why I'm bad at that crap. Si plagues me.

    I relate to ur thing about compulsion but mine is more like...I need to know things about the people I care about...well it's more like possessive....hmm...compulsive things I do involve things like when I was younger if I wanted to talk to a guy i was into or say hi. I would wait like a puppy dog around the corner or something. That's what my stupid impulses tell me to do. I have to really force myself to not be compulsive about the people I care about. If I don't know you tho. I'm not like that. It's hard to explain. Very ture I could be a sp/so...an unhealthy so tho lol. I have no clue. I think too hard about this stuff sometimes and I go in circles trying to figure it out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yea I'm not ENFP lmao but I read on socionics that my "vulnerable function" is Si...so that's why I'm bad at that crap. Si plagues me.

    I relate to ur thing about compulsion but mine is more like...I need to know things about the people I care about...well it's more like possessive....hmm...compulsive things I do involve things like when I was younger if I wanted to talk to a guy i was into or say hi. I would wait like a puppy dog around the corner or something. That's what my stupid impulses tell me to do. I have to really force myself to not be compulsive about the people I care about. If I don't know you tho. I'm not like that. It's hard to explain. Very ture I could be a sp/so...an unhealthy so tho lol. I have no clue. I think too hard about this stuff sometimes and I go in circles trying to figure it out.
    Oh, well, I didn't really mean to imply that you could be Sp/So, what you said just reminded me of how my mom is, and she happens to be that type. It could easily just be a Sp thing. But haha I totally used to do that waiting around for guys stuff too! I'd pose myself just right... and then wait for the encounter... lmao... and then later I learned that it's way more fun and natural to NOT do that!

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