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Thanks. I am asking because I want to know, was it okay for someone to dump me, because I didn't meet these supreme standards of beauty and success, because of his type or if he is just immature. Please don't sweet talk me, but don't be mean either. Also consider, it's not that he just wasn't into me. He fell hard, I even think he was suicidal on occasion from dumping me, but kept insisting that he deserved someone like me, in the sense of being a loving type of family women, but better and much more successful and prettier. He rubbed this other girl in my face and said on a blog he knew I was reading that she was "illuminating," while I was plain. But then he goes right back into despair, blaming, and saying life is so cruel to him and that he made a huge mistake and still hopes for a chance, even though he wont go for it. He is such a fucking, pathetic little boy.
i think the consensus is that everyone has the right to dump anyone at any time for whatever reason, regardless if the reason is justified.
that's being said, the fact he is saying "it's not me, it's you, not good enough for me" suggests he is one hell of a douchebag, and he seems to be rating you and that other girl in terms of arm-decoration, since he is basically saying he likes you fine as a person, but you don't make for a good enough trophy. i can't imagine that kind of mentality comes with the best treatment. all in all, at least based on the information you have given so far, his personality seems far less apealing then average.
He sounds like a 1, not an 8 all the way to the unhealthy connection to 4. Sexual 1s can hold their partners to impossible standards because they are looking for the perfect partner and if unhealthy, obviously no one is going to fit.
He sounds like a 1, not an 8 all the way to the unhealthy connection to 4. Sexual 1s can hold their partners to impossible standards because they are looking for the perfect partner and if unhealthy, obviously no one is going to fit.
That is so funny, because I have thought the same thing, but I'm sure he is an Eight with a little bit of Four and Five. It seems like everyone who is or was significant in his life, he applies all of these extremely unrealistic selfish, one-sided expectations on them, all while not feeling like he needs to measure up to anyone else's needs, and of course he always has a way of justifying his though, usually blaming it on people who have absolutely nothing to do with where he is now or where he is going. For example, it seems like he over his x-wife and doesn't seem to have ever had strong feelings for her in the first place, which rather than saying they were a bad match, I bet he blames her for that, but years later he still bad mouths her for the failed marriage. Maybe he feels like a failure for getting a divorce, but rather than accepting that we all make mistakes, he has to have someone to blame. I guess that answers my questions, he can't accept me, because he can't accept himself, because he is sick in the head. I hate that guy with a passion. I know you probably think I'm hateful, and I guess I am, but if he got hit by a bus, I would feel so good.
He sounds like a 1, not an 8 all the way to the unhealthy connection to 4. Sexual 1s can hold their partners to impossible standards because they are looking for the perfect partner and if unhealthy, obviously no one is going to fit.
But I asked, because I read that Sexual Eights want to be surrounded by beauty. And actually, I think I am kind of pretty, but I'm not all of that tall, extraverted and blonde typical stuff. And personally, I have never liked those kind of girls and it pisses me off that he can't see it. Any girl can get out of bed and not give a shit and act like a man. I was in the Army for ten years, so I know it's not hard. Holding your ground and being a classy mother and lady are hard to find in this world.
Sexuals in general can have a preoccupation with beauty and idealistic romance, and if we see our SO as not fulfilling that role of aesthetic lover, then we may feel like the match is not a good one. I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with "conventional" beauty, though, nor his enneatype. I also am not sure that attempting to analyze him while you are still so angry will yield helpful results, as your natural reaction may be to vilify anything associated with him.
Thanks. I am asking because I want to know, was it okay for someone to dump me, because I didn't meet these supreme standards of beauty and success, because of his type or if he is just immature. Please don't sweet talk me, but don't be mean either. Also consider, it's not that he just wasn't into me. He fell hard, I even think he was suicidal on occasion from dumping me, but kept insisting that he deserved someone like me, in the sense of being a loving type of family women, but better and much more successful and prettier. He rubbed this other girl in my face and said on a blog he knew I was reading that she was "illuminating," while I was plain. But then he goes right back into despair, blaming, and saying life is so cruel to him and that he made a huge mistake and still hopes for a chance, even though he wont go for it. He is such a fucking, pathetic little boy.
First of all, I will start by telling you I went through a time in my life when I was SUPER unhealthy. I put a little personal story about my unhealthy relationship style inside the spoiler if you wanna read it >.>
I was a conquerer to the core, to the point where ten years later, a man named his baby (with another women) after my male alter ego, I've had songs and even entire albums (and one double-album) written about me and how I broke hearts, and three guys got shit that I drew tattooed on their arms, and I'm a really shitty artist. None of them were someone I agreed to commit to for more than a couple months; some I never committed to at all; some I was not even that physical with. I did what and who I want, threw them out, won power games and allowed them to "seduce me" at my convenience. I hardly ever told anyone off - unless they were in my way. (I hit and yelled at one guy because he kept showing up at my parents' house and insisting he loved me at 2am, for instance.) I was just too damn selfish to deal with his crap. I have never lied or cheated or been unclear; I was straight up about my terms and what my intentions were. The way I saw it back then, if they wanted more, that's not my problem because I was honest, so they can cry themselves to sleep all they want but I won't feel remorse for their bad choices. I'm not proud or happy about any of this but that is what a SX 8 looks like when they're unhealthy.
I got dumped once, by someone I really liked, more than anyone else I'd ever liked. I was absolutely infatuated but we weren't "official" and he ended it anyway. This was the first time I ever got dumped or didn't "win." He told me, " I think we should be friends," and I said, "Okay." He kept apologizing, crying, asked me to stay the night. I stayed the night & got what I wanted, but did not protest or show any emotion. There was no way I'd "let him win" by showing emotion. In the morning he stepped out to get cigs and I left without a word. Then he groveled for another 2 years trying to get my attention back, which he ultimately did, more than I wanted to admit; and when I thought he had too much "power over me" I told him that I'd be up for a commitment, which I had never wanted before. He said he couldn't commit. We kept playing music together (we were in a band at that point) but we weren't physical anymore. I moved to the city a couple months later, to do my own music and get away from him. I wrote a bunch of songs and sang about it, and he was a great musician; but I finished my album first. He was so upset that he "wasn't doing anything with his life" and I felt a sense of revenge because I did it first and I did it without him. Part of me felt bad, because he's sweet, and I want him to do something with his music, but a bigger part of me felt satisfied that I "won." He showed mild interest after that but I was done. I'd gotten a sense of triumph and I had no more interest; I wish him the best.
You'd have to put a gun to my head to get me on my knees begging someone not to break up with me, or to take me back. I won't willingly set myself up for rejection - in fact when I'm unhealthy (or admittedly, even still) I'd go out of my way to avoid making myself vulnerable to rejection, and to be sure that I always "win." His back and forth behavior and groveling is not very 8ish especially when unhealthy - unhealthy 8s will think it's weak to be needy, emotional, or vulnerable, or to beg someone to be with them. (Oddly I think if I ever did that it would be because I'm really healthy, but the thought makes me shiver.) I also can't imagine a scenario in which I would "flaunt my vulnerable feelings" by blogging about the people I'm currently dating? Why I would do that? That is giving way too much power to them, and also, to strangers.
The type of stuff this guy is doing sounds unhealthy, and I would not claim he's more unhealthy than I was. I was pretty bad, and no better than anyone else so I'm not judging, or saying another type is worse than 8. But I was an asshole in a completely different way. I wasn't playing manipulative heart-games with blogs, and I wasn't waffling back and forth like "I love you, take me back" and "Now I love someone else." I'd admit that what I did was also crude, but certainly not in that vain. What he did was hot-blooded, whereas 8s will be cold-blooded, especially when disintegrated. Think about the connection to 5 and what that means? Cold-blooded; 8s are expansive animalistic creatures and when we start strategizing and thinking and retracting to protect ourselves it's not pretty or warm at all.
Each enneagram fixation is, in essence, a protective reaction against their vulnerable soul-child, which is their integration point. Type 2 is the integration point for 8s. That means the 8's personality develops as a reaction against this needy/ giving behavior. Giving, and needing someone else's approval, and being selfless, makes an 8 feel too vulnerable, and so instead, the 8 will say "I don't need anyone, I can do everything on my own." An unhealthy SX 8 will be possessive and magnanimous - on their own terms - rather than generous or "merged" with someone or groveling or meeting their needs; "giving in order to receive love" like a 2 feels too vulnerable. If you're vulnerable, and giving of yourself, and the other person shows signs of betraying you, you "reject first." The 8 missed the childhood message "You will not be betrayed" - so an SX 8 will be likely to apply that to an intimate or people they're very close to and share intensity with. Revenge, for me, would come in the form of "you betrayed me, I don't need you anymore." I wouldn't bother with them any more than that unless they really got in my way - stalked me, bothered my new lover, hurt someone else that I care about etc. It's an over-sensitivity to rejection. You also have to realize 8 is a rejection type, and integrates to 2 - a rejection type, and disintegrates to 5 - a rejection type. No matter what you do, you can't escape this tremendous rejection issue. So if someone doesn't want me, I don't want to be where I'm not wanted and I don't need them. If someone 'belongs' to me and I feel myself "giving" to them and "going out of my way for them" I feel vulnerable, and my instinct can be to feel out of control when things aren't going my way, and try to get control through possessiveness. If that doesn't work, I don't need them anymore & cut them off, at least on an emotional level: they can't get to me any more, ever again. That's different from playing the sort of games you're describing here - blogs, and waffling.
Let me know if that makes sense.
But I asked, because I read that Sexual Eights want to be surrounded by beauty.
Sexuals in general can have a preoccupation with beauty and idealistic romance, and if we see our SO as not fulfilling that role of aesthetic lover, then we may feel like the match is not a good one. I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with "conventional" beauty, though, nor his enneatype. I also am not sure that attempting to analyze him while you are still so angry will yield helpful results, as your natural reaction may be to vilify anything associated with him.
I'm not sure but that might be a super-ego thing with SX; the lover has to meet a certain standard that is congruent with your ideals? I do have standards, but it's not "one blanket standard" like they have to fit some greater ideal... it's more like, 1) am I turned on? 2) can I trust you/ are you gonna betray me? 3) does this pairing make logical sense (and if not, I will try to make it work anyway, but I won't wait for someone forever...)
I dated a guy who I strongly suspect is an SX 1, and he was so "turned on" by me, and found me so sexy and loved my mind, but physically I wasn't his "type" - he's into blonds, big boobs, etc. He used to actually cry because "so many guys would die to be with you and you're so beautiful by most standards but you don't fit MY standard of physical beauty" ... well anyway, that didn't last very long. I broke it off, even though he didn't understand why, because he loved everything else about me and he could "deal with" me not being his "type" even though he would rather that I was.
I would never be in that sort of situation - if I like someone I like them; I don't have outside standards which need apply or else I'm conflicted.... beyond the obvious: I need trust, and communication.
Sexuals in general can have a preoccupation with beauty and idealistic romance, and if we see our SO as not fulfilling that role of aesthetic lover, then we may feel like the match is not a good one. I don't think that necessarily has anything to do with "conventional" beauty, though, nor his enneatype. I also am not sure that attempting to analyze him while you are still so angry will yield helpful results, as your natural reaction may be to vilify anything associated with him.
I agree with [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION]; I don't relate to beauty or idealistic romance. I want one thing and that's a person who accepts the totality of me and that's pretty much it. A person I can trust enough to open up myself to without being judged.
I am not sure if this is idealistic romance and it certainly does not pertain to any specific beauty standards.
First of all, I will start by telling you I went through a time in my life when I was SUPER unhealthy. I put a little personal story about my unhealthy relationship style inside the spoiler if you wanna read it >.>
I was a conquerer to the core, to the point where ten years later, a man named his baby (with another women) after my male alter ego, I've had songs and even entire albums (and one double-album) written about me and how I broke hearts, and three guys got shit that I drew tattooed on their arms, and I'm a really shitty artist. None of them were someone I agreed to commit to for more than a couple months; some I never committed to at all; some I was not even that physical with. I did what and who I want, threw them out, won power games and allowed them to "seduce me" at my convenience. I hardly ever told anyone off - unless they were in my way. (I hit and yelled at one guy because he kept showing up at my parents' house and insisting he loved me at 2am, for instance.) I was just too damn selfish to deal with his crap. I have never lied or cheated or been unclear; I was straight up about my terms and what my intentions were. The way I saw it back then, if they wanted more, that's not my problem because I was honest, so they can cry themselves to sleep all they want but I won't feel remorse for their bad choices. I'm not proud or happy about any of this but that is what a SX 8 looks like when they're unhealthy.
I got dumped once, by someone I really liked, more than anyone else I'd ever liked. I was absolutely infatuated but we weren't "official" and he ended it anyway. This was the first time I ever got dumped or didn't "win." He told me, " I think we should be friends," and I said, "Okay." He kept apologizing, crying, asked me to stay the night. I stayed the night & got what I wanted, but did not protest or show any emotion. There was no way I'd "let him win" by showing emotion. In the morning he stepped out to get cigs and I left without a word. Then he groveled for another 2 years trying to get my attention back, which he ultimately did, more than I wanted to admit; and when I thought he had too much "power over me" I told him that I'd be up for a commitment, which I had never wanted before. He said he couldn't commit. We kept playing music together (we were in a band at that point) but we weren't physical anymore. I moved to the city a couple months later, to do my own music and get away from him. I wrote a bunch of songs and sang about it, and he was a great musician; but I finished my album first. He was so upset that he "wasn't doing anything with his life" and I felt a sense of revenge because I did it first and I did it without him. Part of me felt bad, because he's sweet, and I want him to do something with his music, but a bigger part of me felt satisfied that I "won." He showed mild interest after that but I was done. I'd gotten a sense of triumph and I had no more interest; I wish him the best.
You'd have to put a gun to my head to get me on my knees begging someone not to break up with me, or to take me back. I won't willingly set myself up for rejection - in fact when I'm unhealthy (or admittedly, even still) I'd go out of my way to avoid making myself vulnerable to rejection, and to be sure that I always "win." His back and forth behavior and groveling is not very 8ish especially when unhealthy - unhealthy 8s will think it's weak to be needy, emotional, or vulnerable, or to beg someone to be with them. (Oddly I think if I ever did that it would be because I'm really healthy, but the thought makes me shiver.) I also can't imagine a scenario in which I would "flaunt my vulnerable feelings" by blogging about the people I'm currently dating? Why I would do that? That is giving way too much power to them, and also, to strangers.
The type of stuff this guy is doing sounds unhealthy, and I would not claim he's more unhealthy than I was. I was pretty bad, and no better than anyone else so I'm not judging, or saying another type is worse than 8. But I was an asshole in a completely different way. I wasn't playing manipulative heart-games with blogs, and I wasn't waffling back and forth like "I love you, take me back" and "Now I love someone else." I'd admit that what I did was also crude, but certainly not in that vain. What he did was hot-blooded, whereas 8s will be cold-blooded, especially when disintegrated. Think about the connection to 5 and what that means? Cold-blooded; 8s are expansive animalistic creatures and when we start strategizing and thinking and retracting to protect ourselves it's not pretty or warm at all.
Each enneagram fixation is, in essence, a protective reaction against their vulnerable soul-child, which is their integration point. Type 2 is the integration point for 8s. That means the 8's personality develops as a reaction against this needy/ giving behavior. Giving, and needing someone else's approval, and being selfless, makes an 8 feel too vulnerable, and so instead, the 8 will say "I don't need anyone, I can do everything on my own." An unhealthy SX 8 will be possessive and magnanimous - on their own terms - rather than generous or "merged" with someone or groveling or meeting their needs; "giving in order to receive love" like a 2 feels too vulnerable. If you're vulnerable, and giving of yourself, and the other person shows signs of betraying you, you "reject first." The 8 missed the childhood message "You will not be betrayed" - so an SX 8 will be likely to apply that to an intimate or people they're very close to and share intensity with. Revenge, for me, would come in the form of "you betrayed me, I don't need you anymore." I wouldn't bother with them any more than that unless they really got in my way - stalked me, bothered my new lover, hurt someone else that I care about etc. It's an over-sensitivity to rejection. You also have to realize 8 is a rejection type, and integrates to 2 - a rejection type, and disintegrates to 5 - a rejection type. No matter what you do, you can't escape this tremendous rejection issue. So if someone doesn't want me, I don't want to be where I'm not wanted and I don't need them. If someone 'belongs' to me and I feel myself "giving" to them and "going out of my way for them" I feel vulnerable, and my instinct can be to feel out of control when things aren't going my way, and try to get control through possessiveness. If that doesn't work, I don't need them anymore & cut them off, at least on an emotional level: they can't get to me any more, ever again. That's different from playing the sort of games you're describing here - blogs, and waffling.
I read that in that Richard Rohr book. I can't remember the name. It does make sense. And he was only doing the back and forth thing when I was playing into it. When I put my foot down and stopped entertaining it or getting angry and firing back, he finally shut his mouth, and I could tell he did it to act like I didn't reject him and he wanted to be in charge of who was doing that. I don't mean to make you feel too sappy, but I always love your responses. I love being around Eights. Thanks.
I agree with [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION]; I don't relate to beauty or idealistic romance. I want one thing and that's a person who accepts the totality of me and that's pretty much it. A person I can trust enough to open up myself to without being judged.
I am not sure if this is idealistic romance and it certainly does not pertain to any specific beauty standards.
[MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION], oh I just saw the spoiler thing. That is interesting. The older you is kind of how he is now, but I think the circumstances were much different. I think he has changed quite a bit since meeting me, but he still doesn't "get it" when it comes to relationships. He said he thought God sent me to him. Now he views me as another troubling part of his life and fails to take responsibility for it.
Oooh I have to read the Richard Rohr book, then. =) [Must know all the sources!]
I do like being around beauty but it's more in my own things, music, my house. I've moved into an old house and painted & chose rugs & decor - and on another occasion I built the loft rooms in an NYC apartment where I lived for a while - and I don't do any over the top "fancy" decorating but I get it exactly the way I want and I have an aesthetic that I love for my environment where I write songs and write books. I'm pragmatic, but I find a way to make it look awesome without spending too much money except where it counts. This is part of why I thought I was SP first for a while. I love renovating, building, knocking down & building back up... I have actually seen that specific behavior listed in 8 descriptions, which is kind of funny. I also love good music and I am absolutely in love with nature and have a million nature photos. I love all animals, but especially beautiful animals; and I'm quite specific about the type of cat that I really like =)
But when it comes to dating, I'm in the same camp with [MENTION=16405]LeaT[/MENTION] - someone who communicates with me and accepts me is all I want. I've dated some very gorgeous men, and I was especially into gorgeous men when I was unhealthy, but part of it is that I enjoyed the conquest, I think, in retrospect. I had to compete with other people to get them which was kind of a turn on. I like to win.
But then, if I'm with someone and I really like them as a person, it goes beyond being "turned on" and "winning" rather quickly. It's scary how hard I will fall and how deeply and how much I have an impulse to give, when someone seems innocent to me, as in, they don't have twisted motives or they are true to themselves and honest. I fall *so* hard and I forget all the b.s.; beauty or body parts or competitions or anything. I can start to feel really vulnerable, but the problem is that the ways I fight against it are, if I feel rejected in the slightest, I am compelled to "reject first" without even explaining myself - I just don't want to give someone the "power" of knowing I gave a shit when I feel like they betrayed me, liked someone else better or whatever; in essence, rejected me. I've been working really hard on being honest about this in recent relationships, simply making myself vulnerable by telling the person how I feel, that I'm worried they like someone else better, or I feel like they've lost interest, without being snappy or blaming them; just trying to communicate. It's so, so, so hard, but I've been trying, and it's been working well so far.
Anyway that could be what's going on underneath this guy's bravado if indeed he is an 8. But if he's unhealthy like I used to be, it would be really hard to unwind - I can't imagine *anyone* could get me to see that in myself or admit it while I felt vulnerable back then.
And he was only doing the back and forth thing when I was playing into it. When I put my foot down and stopped entertaining it or getting angry and firing back, he finally shut his mouth, and I could tell he did it to act like I didn't reject him and he wanted to be in charge of who was doing that.
That is interesting. So you rejected him in a way, but he wanted to kind of 'pretend' it was up to him? I guess I could see how that could be 8 behavior... I'd just do it a bit differently. At the first sign of rejection I withdraw. I also have 4 & 5 fixes so I can be a bit withdrawn; avaricious if you will.
I don't mean to make you feel too sappy, but I always love your responses. I love being around Eights. Thanks.
[MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION], oh I just saw the spoiler thing. That is interesting. The older you is kind of how he is now, but I think the circumstances were much different. I think he has changed quite a bit since meeting me, but he still doesn't "get it" when it comes to relationships. He said he thought God sent me to him. Now he views me as another troubling part of his life and fails to take responsibility for it.
I can tell you how I feel in relationships when I get vulnerable. I've listened to this song *at least* once a day since I first heard it years ago. I found this version, live, about 6 months ago and I can't get enough! I even put it on my profile here.
The lyrics are simple & not overly "clever" but it totally captures my anger, and my state of mind. I always feel "I'll give you something more, and you'll fade away..." ... it scares me to think someone will just fade away from me. It upsets my possessiveness. When I feel that happening it hurts the most.
The lyric also says at the end, "Lives you once adored will fade away, Lies you can't ignore, you'll soon repay as you fade away" - which sounds like vengeance to me; it's like saying okay, go ahead and walk away from everything I'm giving you, but then you'll lose me and I'll never turn back so you'll have to pay for it when you decide you want me back.
The part where he sings "One last kiss before you fade away" - this is where I shiver because I know that I've been in that state of mind before, like I am just desperate for one last night (like with the one guy I really liked, who I told you about in the spoiler), and that scares the crap out of me; my usual way is to keep power, stay on top, make people come to me, and if you betray me you're gone. The desperation and surrender with which he sings this is familiar to me as well as his anger at the end as a reaction to it all.
I'd be curious if you think your guy would relate to this..
I can tell you how I feel in relationships when I get vulnerable. I've listened to this song *at least* once a day since I first heard it years ago. I found this version, live, about 6 months ago and I can't get enough! I even put it on my profile here.
The lyrics are simple & not overly "clever" but it totally captures my anger, and my state of mind. I always feel "I'll give you something more, and you'll fade away..." ... it scares me to think someone will just fade away from me. It upsets my possessiveness. When I feel that happening it hurts the most.
The lyric also says at the end, "Lives you once adored will fade away, Lies you can't ignore, you'll soon repay as you fade away" - which sounds like vengeance to me; it's like saying okay, go ahead and walk away from everything I'm giving you, but then you'll lose me and I'll never turn back so you'll have to pay for it when you decide you want me back.
The part where he sings "One last kiss before you fade away" - this is where I shiver because I know that I've been in that state of mind before, like I am just desperate for one last night (like with the one guy I really liked, who I told you about in the spoiler), and that scares the crap out of me; my usual way is to keep power, stay on top, make people come to me, and if you betray me you're gone. The desperation and surrender with which he sings this is familiar to me as well as his anger at the end as a reaction to it all.
I'd be curious if you think your guy would relate to this..
Sure, any time! I am writing a book right now, so my attention to TypoC is sporadic , but I'd love to hear from you and I'll get back asap when I am on. =)
Thanks. I am asking because I want to know, was it okay for someone to dump me, because I didn't meet these supreme standards of beauty and success, because of his type or if he is just immature. Please don't sweet talk me, but don't be mean either. Also consider, it's not that he just wasn't into me. He fell hard, I even think he was suicidal on occasion from dumping me, but kept insisting that he deserved someone like me, in the sense of being a loving type of family women, but better and much more successful and prettier. He rubbed this other girl in my face and said on a blog he knew I was reading that she was "illuminating," while I was plain. But then he goes right back into despair, blaming, and saying life is so cruel to him and that he made a huge mistake and still hopes for a chance, even though he wont go for it. He is such a fucking, pathetic little boy.
But when I was acting unhealthy I went for guys I KNEW I didn't want to be with--not the other way around. I didn't shoot for the stars because I was feeding my ego and my pride and all of my independence. I didn't want anyone I would actually be attached to.. There was a part of me that felt like a monster for thinking that way, so I pretended in public to really like these guys, but I couldn't stand them. I got with them just because I knew we'd break up later because they were genuinely awful people. I felt like I somehow had more control when I did things that way.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now, later on, I'm not trying to show them up and say, "Look asshole! I'm with a good guy now!" I made that happen by working on myself and by not acting like a total bitch.
It sounds like he's got some major issues to work through, I hope he does.
as an Sx 8, I'm a terrible worthless miserable cunt of a man, with absolutely no morals and absolutely no reason to be loved by anyone. I also dump women whenever I want, because that's how I live my life, is just dumping women for pleasure. It makes me feel good about myself when I see them in pain.
You're gonna have to suck it up, or find a real boyfriend.
Be your best self, and whoever respects you for that will stick around and treat you right.
as an Sx 8, I'm a terrible worthless miserable cunt of a man, with absolutely no morals and absolutely no reason to be loved by anyone. I also dump women whenever I want, because that's how I live my life, is just dumping women for pleasure. It makes me feel good about myself when I see them in pain.
You're gonna have to suck it up, or find a real boyfriend.
Be your best self, and whoever respects you for that will stick around and treat you right.
