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  1. #1
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    Question Deflecting irational anger towards the cause

    I dont think I am a gut center...
    But I do have a ton anger which is a relatively new thing for me, and a subject which you guys seem to excel at. So I will ask you:

    do you find yourself realizing you are deflecting irational anger you have towards yourself in the direction of its rational causality (the person making the choice to inflict the harm you are angry about)?

    How would you deal with that?

  2. #2
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Yes, I do, but I don't have a solution, unfortunately, other than trying to develop awareness.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Yes, I do, but I don't have a solution, unfortunately, other than trying to develop awareness.
    Fully aware of it, still do it.

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    or move away from your parents.
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

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    Quote Originally Posted by gasoline View Post
    or move away from your parents.
    Rofl, I might clearify:
    My irational anger is towards myself for not being there for my boy.
    The rational deflection is towards my ex wife for not letting me see him.

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    Neither of the examples seem to have anything to do with what I am talking about @Maybe .....

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    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    Neither of the examples seem to have anything to do with what I am talking about @Maybe .....
    Okay can you explain what you mean then?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    Okay can you explain what you mean then?
    The pattern is that the angery at yourself for something you cant change and didnt choose, that anger is there but you cant justify it or make sense of it, so your mind direct it towards were were it would be if it was a rational emotion.

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    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    I dont think I am a gut center...
    But I do have a ton anger which is a relatively new thing for me, and a subject which you guys seem to excel at. So I will ask you:

    do you find yourself realizing you are deflecting irational anger you have towards yourself in the direction of its rational causality (the person making the choice to inflict the harm you are angry about)?

    How would you deal with that?
    Are you talking about projection? I think that's something that everyone tends to do. It's what all unjustified anger is, to a degree -- right?

    I'm sure there have been times when I've thought I was angry at someone else, but was really angry at myself. Can't think of an instance right now, because my tendency is usually to give myself too much blame, instead of too little. (However, that tendency is relatively recent.)

    This is going to sound sappy, and maybe too Fi-heavy, but I'd suggest exploring that anger, unpacking it and trying to understand it better -- because it's easier to fix/minimize a problem if you know what the problem actually entails.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    The pattern is that the angery at yourself for something you cant change and didnt choose, that anger is there but you cant justify it or make sense of it, so your mind direct it towards were were it would be if it was a rational emotion.
    All emotions exist for a reason. Your anger is there for a reason. Cause and effect. If it's not rational, it doesn't really matter, as long as you understand why the emotion is doing what it's doing, and how you can calm it down.
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    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    Rofl, I might clearify:
    My irational anger is towards myself for not being there for my boy.
    The rational deflection is towards my ex wife for not letting me see him.
    Is there such a thing as a rational deflection? Or are you deflecting and internalizing the anger towards your ex-wife onto yourself?

    I would suspect that the most rational source of anger is the primary source and the irrational expression of it is the deflection.
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