I relate to this ^
This is why people kept insisting I was SX first when I thought I could be SP first. I find myself feeling most alive through passion & purpose. Although, I'm curious about one thing - what do you mean, "the less you focus on your ego?"
The less attention I give to myself -- i.e. introspection, general selfishness -- the more grounded I feel in who I am. (Of course introspection can be good, but mine can get out of control.) There's some New Testament verse about "dying" every day in order to stay alive, and I've found that to be true for me.
and to clarify just in case, when I said "ego" I meant the conscious division of the psyche, not self-importance/self-esteem
Also how is this an SO thing? I actually don't know nearly as much about instincts as I would like, so I'm very interested how this relates to SO. =)
Oh, I don't know much about instincts either. I've just read that 9 SOs can lose themselves in "big picture" endeavors, but now that I think about it, that contradicts what I said. Those descriptions don't imply that in losing themselves, 9 SOs
find themselves...it's implied that they just get lost, their identity replaced by a cause. Or that there never was an identity to replace, that ideological fervor is a substitute for real, substantial passion.
Do you like to learn skills just for the sake of learning them, or for a bigger goal? Do you prefer if they're new, or do you find yourself refining the same one for bigger/ broader goals?
I have a lot of focus on the things I loved as a kid that never changed. Singing, piano, writing books.. I started all of these things young; wrote my first songs at 8 and my first 400-page fantasy book was done when I was 13 maybe? ... It sucked ... but nevertheless those same interests stayed with me. Almost everything I do is geared around these life-long passions, and I even go so far as to cut out pursuits that interest me but would take time away from my bigger goals. I don't need to be good at everything, but I want to maximize the things I do love and which I consider my true chosen passion & purpose.
Curious to what extent you relate?
first question: both, since any type of learning is beneficial in the long run, even if the skill isn't applicable to larger goals. I learn to keep my mind active, to see if the process will spark any new interests, to learn more about my abilities; there are honestly few things I study that apply directly to "larger goals." Kind of a stupid strategy. I'm thinking about majoring in political science, and I still don't know how a bill becomes a law. (The theory -- i.e. why this process works / why it doesn't -- is interesting to me, but the thought of having to memorize it step-by-step is nauseating.)
I definitely relate. As a kid I had a ton of interests all over the board. I've found that as I learn more about myself and what matters to me, like you, my scope of interests has become more focused. I've realized that there's really no reason for me to be learning Native American sign language or making Borrower's houses. I'm still very interested in other cultures and languages, though, and I'll always like interior design. Just not where my gifts lie, not quite where my passion is.
I tried writing a few novels when I was younger, but I hated the sound of my written voice so much that I could never finish. Encountered the problem of taste > ability pretty young. It's really impressive that you wrote a 400 page book at 13! You seem like you could be a very good novelist, with that kind of drive and with what little I've observed of your writing in general.
Interesting. This reminds me of something I said a few weeks ago when I was asked to be patient:
"My mind is like a river that's always flowing. It takes more work for me to sit still and do nothing, than it takes for me to ride the tide and move forward constantly."
The difference is, I'm not sure if I would do this to maintain harmony, per se; as much as, because I feel an ever-present "driving force" inside me, so to speak. Naranjo's description of type 8 as "Phallic-Narcissistic personality" really hits home for me. I picture my mind as this giant phallus aiming for what it wants, propelled by lust... and Lust, of course, is more than just a sex drive or passion; it's a need for triumph over adversity, a thirst for intensity, a need to chase and conquer. I am happiest when I'm being challenged, but I don't take well to being controlled or forced into things by others, so I should specify; I'm happiest when I am challenging *myself* - playing by my own rules, but constantly motivated to get to the next level, push my limits, expand.
Also curious how you relate to that?
I wouldn't say that my mind resembles a phallus. but my mind never shuts off either. and even though I usually mask it, I can be very impatient. the other day I was so frustrated by the fact that everyone around me seems to be so caught up in routine and trivialities, skirting around the heart of everything. I was incredibly irritated and pent-up the whole day, just waiting for someone to say something of significance, for
something to come into fruition. I realized I could have taken charge and done something exciting on my own, but I wanted someone to be in the same mindset as me. I wanted to spend time with someone who wouldn't think I was being overly intense. I'm usually much more mellow, but yes, I'm constantly motivated to get somewhere new as well. It could just be where I am in life.
when I'm unable to sit still, it often means that I'm avoiding my own thoughts/responsibilities, seeking catharsis through intense activities instead of through reflection & real resolution. this drive can also be healthy...like you said, "a need to triumph over adversity, push my limits, expand." And I love new experiences because they make me see the world and myself in a different context, enriching my overall outlook. Do you relate to that at all, a need to get to the next level of perception?
