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  1. #1
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    Default Do Fours deal with pride also?

    I ask because I am sure my dad is a Four, but I see a lot of pride, arrogance, and egocentrism in him. He is definately unhealthy and immature. Maybe it's the Eight in him. He is an INFJ, so I have wondered if he is a full blown Eight, but maybe his MBTI type makes him look softer. Maybe being a Four and Eight, both having connection points to Two could be bringing the pride out. I don't know, but I know he can be irritating as hell with his expectations he puts on people. He thinks for whatever self-entitled reasons that he has a right to go around making unreasonable demands, such as asking to know personal business or getting upset because people don't do things that they are no-where near required to do. Then he gets ticked off when he doesn't get his way, when any reasonable person would have never expected people others to go along with these things. Then after he loses the game, he goes and sulks. It makes no sense to me. It reminds me of characteristics of an unhealthy Two or One in a way, but I'm positive he is not those types, because I have never seen him up-tight over being pure, religious, or any sort of standard, unless maybe it is him imposing these things on someone else, although he used to badmouth people who would get pregnant at an early age. He does have some issue with promiscuous behavior but doesn't seem to follow these rules himself. He is a stickler about being on time. I also don't see him putting other people's needs before his own or being clingy, so I don't think he could be a Two. But damn does he have pride and entitlement.

    Maybe any type could be this kind of controlling asshole if their own life is out of control...

  2. #2
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    How old are you?

  3. #3
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    How old are you to ask a question like that? Or are you just having a bad day?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newbyagain View Post
    How old are you to ask a question like that?
    10 yrs of age.

    Or are you just having a bad day?
    You're most kind for justifying my behavior for me. Rude people would just call me an asshole. I see that you have class and can look beyond words using your super intuition skills to see hidden meanings. Thank you.

    And I don't know if it's my being a ripe 10 yrs of age (naive due to lack of experience) or you rambling about nonsense, but I can't make heads or tails of the connection between what you mentioned in the OP and Etype.

  5. #5
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    Pride and entitlement? Sounds e3 to me. 4w3 if you're sure he's a 4, but he's sounding 3w4 from your take on it.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    10 yrs of age.



    You're most kind for justifying my behavior for me. Rude people would just call me an asshole. I see that you have class and can look beyond words using your super intuition skills to see hidden meanings. Thank you.

    And I don't know if it's my being a ripe 10 yrs of age (naive due to lack of experience) or you rambling about nonsense, but I can't make heads or tails of the connection between what you mentioned in the OP and Etype.
    Then you must enjoy joining in on nonsense. And if you can't make a connection between behavioral characteristics and the Enneagram, then maybe you need to go read up it. But please don't come back with the bitter attitude.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newbyagain View Post
    Then you must enjoy joining in on nonsense. And if you can't make a connection between behavioral characteristics and the Enneagram, then maybe you need to go read up it. But please don't come back with the bitter attitude.


    Okay, I apologize.

    To answer the question in the OP, I'd say yes and no. Yes in the colloquial use of the word (everyone has pride), but no in relation to the passions (pride in the context of e2). There's counter shame in e4 that comes across as pride, but that's not exactly the same as the passion of pride associated with e2.

    Why not simply e2 for your father? He sounds like some variation of 1w2/2w1 with a strong dose of Fe. You've already acknowledged it yourself that he seem to have some 1 and 2 in him. And your reasoning against it was this:

    because I have never seen him up-tight over being pure, religious, or any sort of standard, unless maybe it is him imposing these things on someone else, although he used to badmouth people who would get pregnant at an early age.
    You are narrowing e1/e2 to the Mother Teresa archetype. If you want to go for archetypes, then I can see a dichtonomy in e2, and that is the madonna and the whore. I agree with Skylights that there's a possibility that he may be a 3w4/4w3, but there's alot of should/shouldn't (superego stuff) and controlling behavior that throws me off.

  8. #8
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    The most straightforward e4 pride tends to come of a three wing, but there's also a kind of backdoor pride that can occur in unhealthy/depressive fours of any subtype: they don't just feel like they're bad when they're down on themselves, but like they are evil. They don't just feel guilty when they mess up, but like they upset the balance of the whole universe. Feel the grandiosity yet?

    When they find their type, their immediate reaction might be to fear that four is the worst of all types. The worst is singled out and special for its outlier status, just negatively rather than positively. A four identifies with being singled out, so if they are desperate and think that being singled out negatively is all they can get, they might just go for that rather than risk disappearing into the group, which would be to lose their perceived identity.

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