[Type 4] Type 4 and Competency

[Abbey]

How concerned are you with competency?
Very, I want to be perfect in every aspect of life.

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Definitely, I desire to be the best at everything.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
I do it for myself. I just want to know personally that I'm talented; I could care less if anyone else knew.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Maybe a little bit, I would feel like my accomplishment was compromised, but in a way public things are a sort of confirmation of reality.

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
Yes, if something is spelled incorrectly I usually can't believe the actual content. My view of life is black and white: something is perfect, complete and real, or it's flawed, incomplete and not worthy of being recognized.

Do you edit your posts?
Yes, I edit everything in my life. Everything I do is double-checked because I'm afraid of messing up.

All my answers may sound extremely hyper-perfectionist and that's pretty accurate. I am such a perfectionist, so much so it turns me into a mess of a person because I can't accept anything as being real. Therefore, it doesn't matter to me. Anyways, my disclaimer here is in real life I'm not a really uptight person about most things though one could conclude that from my answers.

 

[Newbyagain]

Oh my! I am so glad I found this. I was just thinking about how throughout my whole life I have had this disdain for competency and professionalism. It does take away from who I am and being authentic. I just hit me that that is part of my Four side. Thanks for making this thread. I am so envious of people with doctorate degrees and that kind of success, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to be that type of person day in and day out, which feels like a shame because at times, I love research and writing papers. It's an internal conflict. I am now thirty years old and sort of ashamed of my failure, but after so much failure, I realize society and myself have been trying to cultivate me in the wrong direction. Everyone thinks here in the U.S. you are supposed to be some huge success as a doctor or famous artist, but I want to be my withdrawn self, good mother, and get into something artistic, so maybe poetry, writing, or even trying out for some small film roles in L.A. would be just what I need. I just know I need to make some serious life changes, although it does feel good to be challenged doing something more typical professional, but I just don't think I can commit to that much on a regular basis very easily. So what I have in mind is getting a masters in counseling and that should pay enough part time to allow me to do the side gigs I want to get into, regardless of whether anything comes of it.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Hi, [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION]. I'll take a crack at these because this is particularly relevant.

How concerned are you with competency? VERY concerned. I can't stand being or looking incompetent. It is something that bothers me in other people, and it's something that bothers me in me. I don't wanna be that way, or be perceived that way, that's all. A cut above, please and thank you. I actually considered 5 for a long time partly because of the way these issues play out for me.
- I have to be good at whatever I do
- I seek mastery in whatever I undertake. If I haven't mastered it, I feel insecure.
- Everything I do has to be up to par (based on my internal vision)

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something? It does give me a sense of identity to be good at things. I'm the one who's "good at everything". I can't stand NOT being good at something.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself? Others .

But, that said, "mastery" is also extremely important to me, and that's something no one else really needs to see. Two different kinds of competency here, and I feel 'em both.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off? Generally I feel embarrassed to just "show off", though if it were something I was particularly proud of (a work of art, a degree, etc) I might display it prominently. I wouldn't TALK about it or anything, I'd just display it. I can be very good at promoting myself to forward my own agenda. It doesn't feel "inauthentic" for me to do this, though perhaps a bit shameless.

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity? It's not part of my definition of authenticity. It's simply a small compulsion I have when trying to complete a project. I hardly even see this as "perfection", which, after all, is not readily attainable. I see it as trying to make reality conform to the vision in my head. I just want to get it close to that (frustration can result). It's not part of the other competency issues, just my own inner compulsion to get things the way I want them.

Do you edit your posts? I look them over about 3-5 times each, at least. Fix mistakes, alter the things that might read better another way. If I can't figure out how to spell a word, I go look it up. This is why commenting is so time consuming for me.

Thanks for bringing this up, btw. I was just thinking about this the other night--shouldn't 4s have major competency issues? We're between 3 and 5, and we have a connection to 1. That's all three competency types. It's true for me--competency is a huge unarticulated thing in my life. But I can't be anything less than competent.

 

[IluvHSJ]

So I am wondering:

How concerned are you with competency?
Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?

Do you edit your posts?

Competency is a source of shame for me. If I am not competent in my school work or job, I feel lots of shame. I blame this on my Type 1 connection. If I feel like I "don't know" a lot about a subject, that I am "supposed" to know about, I also feel lots of shame. I think this is because my connection to Type 5.

It does give me a sense of purpose to be good at something. But it won't be my ONLY source of purpose. If anything, it just makes me happy to be good at something.
I first off want myself to feel like I am good at something, but then I might look for others to validate it. I kind of wish that I didn't because when they don't like it or have criticisms, I immediately lose confidence.
Hmm.. I wonder. I don't like to draw much attention to myself, which I think comes from being a 4w5, but when others appreciate what I do and pay compliments, it is a happy feeling.
Perfection and correctness was very important to me, my connection to 1, but I'm trying to learn to cool that down, since it brings lots of angst too. I don't think it is part of my definition of authenticity. If anything, it makes me feel less authentic sometimes when I try to be "perfect" because it is usually by society or someone else's standards that I am trying to fit in with.

Yes, I edit my posts. But maybe just once after I post it, no more that that.

 

[autumnandtherain]

How concerned are you with competency?
I relate so well to [MENTION=20036]IluvHSJ[/MENTION] on this one. If I can't do something myself having to do with work, school, keeping promises, etc, I feel lots of shame. Even when others involved in it don't mind. I get ashamed that I couldn't do it and get a feeling of "I'm stupid".
Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Yes. But it's not all of my identity by any means. My identity is way more complex.
Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
I do like when people compliment me, but it also embarrasses me sometimes, especially if it's someone I don't know. But I do it for myself, mostly.
Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Yes.
Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
Yes, but it's hard to fit *my* idea of "perfect", and it's also hard to fit society's idea of "perfect", let alone both of those. However, I think part of my perfectionism comes from my mother who was always very critical of things I did growing up. It gives me some anxiety sometimes when I am in a situation when I don't feel I can be authentic. I guess the short answer though, is yes, and yes.
Do you edit your posts?
Absolutely, if I've made some kind of grammatical mistake or didn't add something I'd wanted to say. But I don't edit obsessively or anything.

 

[Standuble]

How concerned are you with competency?
This varies. The central question is whether I can forgive myself and others for lacking competence (which is actually a lot of the time in both cases). If its for a reason or cause which falls outside my needs and/or desires (with no apparent way of it ever coming to influence them) then why should I let it get to me?

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
No. It only provides some sort of external credibility (even if minuscule) that I have the potential to be significant/that my personality has the potential to amount to something.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
This depends. I only feel the need to let others know if a) I'm at the risk of being devalued and/or overlooked for a task I know I can do well at or b) if I'm in a funk and I need some sort of appreciation to have my spirit raised. Keeping my skills and talents a secret has the concept of a "double life" as one of its logical extremes and I find that whole idea compelling and exciting.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Not in itself but it does accelerate the dissipation of romance from an accomplishment as a side effect. Creating something and receiving the feedback of others makes an accomplishment (in my eyes) a mere lifeless, imperfect construct (the romanticised "essence" I enthused it with inside my mind not being translated over for the most part). By keeping it to myself some of the magic (or perhaps illusion) is maintained, at least for a time. Most things I keep inside my head for this purpose as I know that once they are outside they are no longer important to me and no longer treasured. I think for the most part I don't truly bother or value the feedback of others, just the insights the feedback provides so I don't think the presence of an audience has this direct effect.

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
See the first response. I don't enjoy falling short of what I envisioned but I've learnt to forgive myself for my failings as I've got older (or flirted more with apathy).

Do you edit your posts?
On occasion. Most of my posts on this site I do not proofread so they no doubt look a mess to the observer (I essentially write by having my fingers work on automatic as I use introspection to determine a response). If I care for the content or the occasion I will amend and adjust. I have made a few edits on this response.