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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post




    I've never associated this with being an E2, though.

    I dated a 3w2 for six years and yes he was quite good at house-keeping.

    And I associate that kind of "doting" behavior with Fe types.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    Yeah, male 2s can be ridiculously charming and I totally understand others' draw to them, but what LeaT is saying here describes my experiences so well. The overeagerness to nurture can feel like a slap in the face; like they just want to feel like you need them. (And then it feels really weirdly one-sided: you like them for who they are, and they like you for who they want to be to you.) I'm sure not all 2s are like that, obviously. But it seems like something they, out of all the types, are most prone to.
    Yeah over-eagerness to nurture is a big turn off. I had this guy who wanted to take me to Disneyland for my birthday and started singing to me in French on the phone after meeting me ONCE (and no there was no prior on-line or phone based friendship or flirtation)...and I was like "ewww omg get away from me freak."

    I prefer my romance to be shown in more practical and competent ways, not via needy, Fantasy Island bullshit.

    I find that who "chivalrous act" thing really annoying. Sure, be old-fashioned, be protective, carry my groceries, pay for my cab, need me, love me, but never ever invite me to Disneyland.

  3. #13
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Mushiness is annoying and can be really creepy. It also makes things boring.
    I really like cats and food.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Yeah over-eagerness to nurture is a big turn off. I had this guy who wanted to take me to Disneyland for my birthday and started singing to me in French on the phone after meeting me ONCE (and no there was no prior on-line or phone based friendship or flirtation)...and I was like "ewww omg get away from me freak."

    I prefer my romance to be shown in more practical and competent ways, not via needy, Fantasy Island bullshit.

    I find that who "chivalrous act" thing really annoying. Sure, be old-fashioned, be protective, carry my groceries, pay for my cab, need me, love me, but never ever invite me to Disneyland.
    Ugh! How old were you when that happened?

    I know. I tend to come across as someone in need of protection (I'm an INFP 9w1, after all), so I'm well-acquainted with the "chivalrous act." I need to be more intimidating and abrasive, I guess.

  5. #15
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    I had a fairly bad experience dating a male 2w3. He was controlling, manipulative, needy, clingy, and naturally never wrong about anything. His version of "help" was all about his desire to be needed and never took into account the feelings of the person he was nominally trying to assist. Not to be redundant, but the man had serious boundary issues.

    Needless to say, I'll pass in the future. They're all yours OP.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    Ugh! How old were you when that happened?

    I know. I tend to come across as someone in need of protection (I'm an INFP 9w1, after all), so I'm well-acquainted with the "chivalrous act." I need to be more intimidating and abrasive, I guess.
    I was in my early 30s. This happened just last year right before my birthday. It creeped me out that we just met and he wanted to 1) monopolize my BIRTHDAY and 2) that he was being so extravagant

    I am not impressed by these kinds of insane acts of romance in a guy I barely know.

    Big huge red flag. Bright red flag. Fifty shades of red.

    No I dont want you to be an inconsiderate asshole, but its weird to do all that just bc you think someone is pretty.

    I mean, its like wow, desperate much? Why not just invite me to move in!

    I like practical acts of service, though. Im all about that.

  7. #17
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    It could be because 2 is my integration point that it seems so brave to me. I cannot imagine making myself that vulnerable, the way I see 2's doing it. I have a friend who is a female 2, and she and I were both VERY VERY interested in the same guy for a while. I was seeing him first, but as beautiful as he was, and inspiring and brilliant, I could not deal with his complicated issues. The amount of dedication he needed, to overcome his trust issues and other problems, made me feel like I was laying my heart out on a platter, and I was unwilling. I was "seeing him" for a while because of a strong mental and emotional connection, but I was closed off to him to a large degree; wouldn't let him "step on me" and couldn't make myself vulnerable. The 2, however, was able to put in the effort that he needed, and she was patient through all of his indecision and issues, and now, they're very very happy together. I learned a kind of patience and vulnerability from watching her that I never would have considered otherwise. At first, when I saw the way she was so open about her feelings while he rejected her for years (except for hookups), I thought she was pathetic, vulnerable, whiny, making a victim of herself, etc. Over the years I came to see that she was confident and determined and solid, and knew what she wanted and went for it; and ended up happy.

    Of course, I'd have never been happy with this guy. While we were music buddies and worked amazingly together, and I trusted him completely, I want someone who stands on his own as an independent entity. So it's fair to say that for him, she was a good match, but for an independent person like me, who wants a lot of space and time to themselves, a 2 might seem overwhelming, even when healthy. But, I still found her dedication inspiring, and I do believe that now that he's pulled himself together, she is able to back off, have her own life, do her work, spend time with her friends, and pursue her interests. It's just that she was very gutsy when it came to making herself vulnerable and reaching out, in a way that I could never be. Because I found her so inspiring, and she did manage to help someone who I really care about, I have attempted to incorporate patience and vulnerability into my romantic interactions since then, but it's a lot easier for her than it is for me.
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