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  1. #11
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I do. I have. A masters degree, a career, raising a family. Anything I want to achieve, I will. Isn't that drive a great thing about 8's?
    Presumably, yes. That is why I was asking what you mean when you say you don't "chase."

  2. #12
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    Presumably, yes. That is why I was asking what you mean when you say you don't "chase."
    It's more that I don't chase people. I see pursuing as something I do to reach a goal. If I have to chase a person, they aren't a goal. They are a conquest and I'm not interested in conquests, although I was at one time in my life.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #13
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    Presumably, yes. That is why I was asking what you mean when you say you don't "chase."
    It's more that I don't chase people. I see pursuing as something I do to reach a goal. If I have to chase a person, they aren't a goal. They are a conquest and I'm not interested in conquests, although I was at one time in my life.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #14
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    It's more that I don't chase people. I see pursuing as something I do to reach a goal. If I have to chase a person, they aren't a goal. They are a conquest and I'm not interested in conquests, although I was at one time in my life.
    That makes sense. Would you say you outgrew your lust? If so, did you take an active role in calming it, or did it just sort of.. 'run out' with more maturity?

    I have never "thrown myself at a man." However, I will admit that I am quite capable of openly appreciating the "conquest" aspect of a romantic interest. It's *sexy.* But I can sniff out mutuality, and my goals are still quite practical and based on something "real." Someone doesn't mean enough to me to become worth chasing/ pursuing until we're friends.

    I've never been sexually interested in someone who wasn't a friend. But when I was less healthy, I let male friends come to me, and then I crushed their hearts because I would get physical, but was not interested in settling down. I'd lay out my terms pragmatically: I want X, but not Y. Then, they would beg for Y and I'd say, "This is your problem, not mine." Not something I'm proud of, but that's how it went down when I was unhealthy.

    This is another reason I felt a little bit "male" when I was less healthy. But looking back, I think it's a stereotype. Men can have deep feelings and attachments, and women can be lusty and too immature to settle down.

  5. #15
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    ...if i were an êêêèigh i would feeel offéééénded by this quêéstióóóóón......!

  6. #16
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    ...if i were an êêêèigh i would feeel offéééénded by this quêéstióóóóón......!
    Why?

  7. #17
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    because i don't think it's fair that things like drive, self-confidence, assertiveness, etc should be associated with being male. women should feel as free as possible to be "people" and reach as far as they want without feeling or being thought of as losing their identity as women. this implies not categorizing personality attributes as male. the same would be asking a Male 2 is they feel female? sounds stereotyping :/ i'd love that both women and men had more space to "breathe" and feel free without these stupid, limiting stereotypes.
    you know? both sexes should be seen as multidimensional.
    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    Why?

  8. #18
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    That makes sense. Would you say you outgrew your lust? If so, did you take an active role in calming it, or did it just sort of.. 'run out' with more maturity?

    I have never "thrown myself at a man." However, I will admit that I am quite capable of openly appreciating the "conquest" aspect of a romantic interest. It's *sexy.* But I can sniff out mutuality, and my goals are still quite practical and based on something "real." Someone doesn't mean enough to me to become worth chasing/ pursuing until we're friends.

    I've never been sexually interested in someone who wasn't a friend. But when I was less healthy, I let male friends come to me, and then I crushed their hearts because I would get physical, but was not interested in settling down. I'd lay out my terms pragmatically: I want X, but not Y. Then, they would beg for Y and I'd say, "This is your problem, not mine." Not something I'm proud of, but that's how it went down when I was unhealthy.

    This is another reason I felt a little bit "male" when I was less healthy. But looking back, I think it's a stereotype. Men can have deep feelings and attachments, and women can be lusty and too immature to settle down.
    I think I took an active role in calming it for a long time. Maturity showed me that it was ok to be lustful, just to be a little more choosy about who and what it's directed at. It's never run out, I don't think it ever will.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #19
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    because i don't think it's fair that things like drive, self-confidence, assertiveness, etc should be associated with being male. women should feel as free as possible to be "people" and reach as far as they want without feeling or being thought of as losing their identity as women. this implies not categorizing personality attributes as male. the same would be asking a Male 2 is they feel female? sounds stereotyping :/ i'd love that both women and men had more space to "breathe" and feel free without these stupid, limiting stereotypes.
    you know? both sexes should be seen as multidimensional.
    Sure. I can see that, and that is what I was saying in some of my previous posts. However, having literal dreams of having a phallus, is "feeling male" - is it not?

    The whole point of the thread, though, is that my assertiveness is a dimension of my femininity. However I've wondered, because of the phrasing 'phallic-narcissistic' personality, how this pertains to women. I never once mean to imply that women cannot be strong, assertive, and so forth; as a woman I am all of these things, and so is my mother who is either a 9 or a 6.

  10. #20
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I think I took an active role in calming it for a long time. Maturity showed me that it was ok to be lustful, just to be a little more choosy about who and what it's directed at. It's never run out, I don't think it ever will.
    Makes perfect sense to me, and in fact I could have said this myself.

    As a side note - I like your avatar. =)

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