I guess you've sorted this out since then but I would've said, ask SO why he recommends this route of "managing anger". Does SO get hurt easily?That said, I'm beginning to wonder if it's healthy for me to take my anger for granted in the way that I do. The person I'm seeing now believes that I have an "anger problem", and that I ought to seek help for it. I'm not sure what constitutes a "problem", however. While I certainly have a temper, I have never been violent, and have never been one to stay angry about anything for too long. I'm debating whether I should listen to my SO and find a way to "manage my anger", or just find someone else who can deal with me on my own terms. I've always felt the anger that I feel is less about hostility and more about my inner fire--my personal sense of ambition, strength, and resiliance.
That btw, is the only problem I see about being angry. It can cause bad feelings in other people. Consequently, sometimes this will lead to antagonism, then being explicitly unliked by such people etc. etc. Even when I'm just being simply argumentative with a lower level of anger which I personally don't even perceive as real anger - just something enjoyable -, some people can feel bad about it. One of them told me that after talking to me they would have a ruined day sometimes. That was quite shocking to learn. And no, knowing this unfortunately didn't help, as I didn't change...
Well a long time ago, I thought I should be able to control it so I tried but I ended up with no results. I found I could not repress it, it would just come back stronger within a minute or so and I couldn't talk myself out of it either. So I left it at that, I decided it was better for me to stay this way and just let it outMy question to other 8s is have you ever attempted to manage your anger? What prompted you to do so, and what were the results?
If you're already angry, better just let it out.To all: how do you define a healthy relationship with anger?
Other than that, I once saw a book about anger management that had the main message of not waiting until you get angry, you need to change your way of viewing the situation before you start reacting to it. Sounds complicated but I guess this is supposed to be the ultimate way to do things... I would have to change a lot for that though, I would have to learn thinking first before acting. :o No, better if you change/manage the situation itself.
It doesn't mean it's always good, as you say.
What do they do exactly?That is why those around me have learned to circumnavigate.
Nice you only got that raging only two times in 6 years. :p Not that it happens very often for me, no, but more than that...
You just probably like to jump into things with real intense passion, some people have the tendency to start worrying about overdoing when they see that. A friend of mine is like that, when he worries about me, it's pretty annoyingI find that when I am most enthusiastic, people think I am "insane," which is odd to me.