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Thread: Whats your stance to melodrama? (esp. To those with 4w3 in triad)

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Vilku's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
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    Default Whats your stance to melodrama? (esp. To those with 4w3 in triad)

    i love it. And i think im most genuine to myself when i act on my impulses of feelings just the way i feel like acting. Ive noticed i become silly like when im open to my feelings like this, is that the case for anyone else? How do you think it changes you when you become melodramatic? I think im integrating at those states, cause the only other alternative is _killing_ every trace of my feelings.

    Although i often feel the pressure of expectations are preventing this melodramatic honesty from myself.

    And by melodrama i do not mean overdoing it like rarity in my little pony. Rather, i mean, going with the strength and autonomy a well poised jedi like peacefulness offers me. Well, i AM a jedi after all..

    But yeah, at occasions i can be hurt by something but i try to turn it into pleasurous melodrama.

    I dont know what to ask.. Just express any thoughts you have emerging on this subject.
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

  2. #2
    Paragon Gone Wrong Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    4w5 sp/sx
    IEI Ni


    I LOVE melodramatic expression in art & creativity, and even in conversation if the setting is right or my mood is unwilling to be beaten into submission. Much of the time, I am half joking - it's tongue-in-cheek but also expressing some real feeling (often PAIN). I like when someone can banter in that style or gently tease me a bit without being dismissive. It's best not to take me too seriously nor trivialize me at these times...just play the game & pretend you're in on the joke. The line between melodrama and humor is not clearly defined for me.

    I don't like or seek out interpersonal drama though. My life is woefully uneventful! Really though, I dislike serious conflict with other people; I create enough inner turbulence on my own.

    I also don't like mushy gushy sentimentality (which often strikes me as phony), but I can tolerate more & more with age, and am getting better with positive expression myself. I like stuff that's a bit darker, so sappy, positive expressions can make me roll my eyes, unless it's very poetic or original.

    I'm probably quite contrived myself though, as a lot of my melodramatic expressions are rather vague and probably unconsciously thrown out to make me seem more interesting than I really am.
    "Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx - 451| RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    I think I do not like melodrama. Strong displays of emotion generally make me uncomfortable. I prefer not to show most of my emotions because it feels about as tasteful as wearing my underwear on the outside of my clothes. I get worn out by interpersonal conflict, especially when it is prolonged. I am driven to find a way to resolve it so things can be peaceful again.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #4


    Use emotions as an impetus to brainstorm, ruminate, etc.? Sure. Revel in them? Not my thing.

    I don't see the point in experiencing melodrama or creating inward/outward drama, and I'm wired to do things only when I see the point in them.

  5. #5
    4x9 Array cascadeco's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    4 so/sp


    I think I'm ok with being around someone who just needs to have an emotional 'moment' and needs to release it, whether it's frustration, sadness, happiness, or so on. Although the really negative emotions can cause ME quite a bit of anxiety. I don't know if it's because I internalize them, or because I am not sure what to do (wanting to solve/help but knowing I can't really say anything, in most situations like this), or because I'm simply not equipped to not have an internal 'wham' whenever it happens, since I grew up in a non-emotionally-expressive, everyone-generally-isolated, wholly introverted and more hands-off family. I think intense frustration/anger at self/self-bashing projected outwardly is what most trips me up. I just listen, because I don't know that there's much else I can do.

    I think as I grow older I more readily express my feelings and thoughts, though. Maybe it's because I've been working over the years on moving away from how I was raised/conditioned, and trying to just let things out more. So in that sense I may be perceived by some irl as a bit highstrung or such or dramatic (this is all so relative). I'm not sure. So yeah, I sometimes need to vent things out; I'm not really sure how this comes across to others when it happens. I don't think I'm 'loud' when I do it, but I think there's an intensity to it in certain contexts. It's very probable it can ilicit the same 'wham' reaction to some others that I get when I'm on the receiving end. It's not a steady stream of it, though... it comes in bursts with me. I'm much more careful in expressions of negative and much more likely to automatically express the positive emotions. Also, I don't have a poker face, at all, and if I need to say something, I'll say it, whether it causes intense temporary discomfort or not (also a newer thing). When I KNOW what I'm feeling, I will express it (when I'm super excited/happy, I can bounce around, literally, enough that I broke my toe once when I was running around and kicked a doorframe. Also, I have quite a grin that lights up my entire face), and the closer I am to someone, the more they will experience this. But the vast majority of people won't see nearly as much/I won't show any of this, and I will appear more non-plussed and extremely contained.

    I don't care for any prolonged melodrama /drama between one or more people, though, and think I have a pretty low tolerance for situations or mindframes that end up being really extended, assuming the person keeps projecting the same things out externally and I have to listen to the same things for months on end, without any visible change or progress. I totally understand though that some things take a while to internally resolve.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    468 sx/sp


    I am hugely melodramatic, but I try to keep it on the inside. I consider it unkind to unleash that stuff. I live it vicariously through art.

  7. #7
    Banned Array
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    Jan 2010


    'Fi overload that keeps you from making yourself understood.'

    Fi as in failure, I'm not a fan of that side of myself.
    It's comforting to know that it's there though.

  8. #8
    Yeah, I can fly. Array Aleksei's Avatar
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    Mar 2010
    7w6 sx/sp
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    I would consider myself fairly significantly melodramatic. Frequently I keep it bottled up, usually out of fear, but when I feel confident I just let loose. I'm known to flip out fairly easily when I'm angry.

    I also often have a fair bit of fun with my bent for dramatics -- I can be overly theatrical in normal conversation from time to time.

    Teacher (Idyllic), ESE-IEI (Si-ESFj), SLue|I|, Sanguine-Melancholy
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    Inventive > Artistic > Leisurely > Dramatic
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  9. #9
    함부로 애틋하게 Array Kierva's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
    3w4 sp/sx


    I like watching drama, but not being part of it.

    It's tiring and it messes up my sense of control.

  10. #10
    Certified Sausage Smoker Array Elfboy's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vetani View Post
    I like watching drama, but not being part of it.
    It's tiring and it messes up my sense of control.
    this is a very 3w4 answer. I've noticed 3w4s (and, to an extent, 3w4 fixers) tend to like "controlled melodrama". they enjoy indulging their more intense, emotionally volatile side, but only if they can do so while maintaining control and competence. they can do so through various methods such as
    - observing
    - performing
    - artistic pursuits
    - reading
    - listening to more intense music

    as for being in the heat of's usually a position they'd rather avoid
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
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