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[Type 9] Nines, do you have secret oversensitivity to rejection?

Vilku

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
406
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
i cant imagine it being caused by much else than my wing eight side of nine or my most likely secondary 5w6. Prolly both. But are there any other nines who experience this?
And this, is totally hidden part of me that even i am hardly ever aware of, but i know its one of the reasons why i fear to be honest with myself.

If you have this, what is it like?

I for example first discovered it on 2nd grade, when a teacher red my story in a sarcastic tone, then i never wrote a single story in schools after that.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm not completely sure of my enneatype. I think I'm most likely 5w6 or 6w5 but there is a strong 9 aspect to it either way. And yes, I am hypersensitive to rejection but it's not something that's obvious unless you know me really well. If there is rejection from others or even perceived rejection- my brain remembers it all to well and I obsess about it and isolate myself even more.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I'm not completely sure of my enneatype. I think I'm most likely 5w6 or 6w5 but there is a strong 9 aspect to it either way. And yes, I am hypersensitive to rejection but it's not something that's obvious unless you know me really well. If there is rejection from others or even perceived rejection- my brain remembers it all to well and I obsess about it and isolate myself even more.

I am very similar. I try to combat this by trying to own up to my faults before others can point them out to me/use them against me. However, that sometimes tends to backfire on me.
 
0

011235813

Guest
I'm hypersensitive to rejection. I have to push myself really hard to want anything wholeheartedly, because I perceive any outcome that doesn't turn out exactly the way I want it to as a form of rejection, and rejection makes me feel really bad.
 

uumlau

Happy Dancer
Joined
Feb 9, 2010
Messages
5,517
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
953
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I used to be this way, and mostly handled it by never being in a situation where I could be rejected, or at least in situations where my being accepted was mostly guaranteed.

These days, my perspective is that I don't project any sort of "rejection" onto others. What made this lesson clear was learning to dance and thus having to ask girls to dance. Usually they say yes, sometimes they say no. Once you see all the yeses vs noes, you start seeing how it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with who they are and what they happen to want at the moment.

Regard the yes or no as information, not as a value judgment.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Two 9s I know very well are definitely more sensitive than they like to let on.
 

_eric_

New member
Joined
Oct 8, 2012
Messages
285
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
It doesn't really bother me, I'm pretty used to it. The only thing that I think I am sensitive to is if someone accuses me of doing something wrong or bad that I did not do, or assumes I have bad intentions in some action or lack of action where I do not actually have bad intentions at all. The reason I react so poorly to that is largely because of my generalized anxiety disorder though, as any sort of conflict or attack on my character really triggers it.
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Nothing "secret" about it for me. You reject me, you'll probably never see me again. I have little desire to hang around or to persist with someone or something that doesn't want me
 

Chaotic Harmony

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,436
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
I'm pretty bad about sensitivity to rejection. I have been so bad about rejection, I would feel out a person hiring for a new position before I even applied to see if I would even be considered for it... Boys. Same thing. If I liked a guy, before I even dared to flirt I'd try and find out if he was remotely interested. I handle rejection about as well as a car driving into a brick wall. :cry:
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
It seriously depends on who, where, how and why. I am pretty quick to get over stuff and also pretty un-invested in most people's views.

However if it's someone I care for deeply, or am romantically interested in then slights can be megga exaggerated and emo Kasper emerges. And if it feels like group (So) rejection then it can hurt deeper than I would let on.

I do not consider myself sensitive though.
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Its not a secret at all, for me
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hells yes, I turn into a giant emo monster, mostly with the accepting of it.
 

The_Observer

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2013
Messages
7
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
9w1
I would have to say nope. I've been a loner for a long time. An abnormal individual as is. Generally speaking I know that I'm honest and genuine with people. If they reject me it's not because I'm not good enough. It's because they don't understand me or because they're frightened by me.

I know from Dr. Jerome Wagner's approach to the Enneagram that as a type 9 if you are integrating then you can experience certain average to unhealthy qualities of type 3. How this works is basically that as a type 9 your subconscious (ego) will work to acquire the healthy qualities of type 6 but to do so it will take the "long road" first to type 3. In this state of integration if you become complacent or enter in to a "relaxed" state as Wagner calls it, then you can move to the "down side" of type 3. He calls it "shifting to the downside of the preceding style: Paradigm shifts you may experience under relaxed conditions" Type 3's avoid failure and have fears of worthlessness so perhaps instead of calling it "rejection" it may be more accurate to reframe that experience as a shame of failure. As a type 9, unity is what you are working for but not having unity would be a failure so that might make you feel powerless or worthless temporarily.
 
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