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Thread: Nines, do you have secret oversensitivity to rejection?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    9w1 sx


    I'm pretty bad about sensitivity to rejection. I have been so bad about rejection, I would feel out a person hiring for a new position before I even applied to see if I would even be considered for it... Boys. Same thing. If I liked a guy, before I even dared to flirt I'd try and find out if he was remotely interested. I handle rejection about as well as a car driving into a brick wall.

  2. #12
    Diabolical Array Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    9w8 so/sx


    It seriously depends on who, where, how and why. I am pretty quick to get over stuff and also pretty un-invested in most people's views.

    However if it's someone I care for deeply, or am romantically interested in then slights can be megga exaggerated and emo Kasper emerges. And if it feels like group (So) rejection then it can hurt deeper than I would let on.

    I do not consider myself sensitive though.

  3. #13
    Bunnies & Rainbow Socks Array Kayness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    9w1 sp/sx


    Its not a secret at all, for me
    9w1 4w5 5w4 sp/sx RCUAI
    art blog

    "I set about seeking a style in the realm of legend. Something that might allow me to give free rein to my juvenile sense of romanticism and the beautiful image"
    - Leni Riefenstahl

  4. #14
    Post Human Post Array Qlip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    4w5 sp/sx


    Hells yes, I turn into a giant emo monster, mostly with the accepting of it.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2013


    I would have to say nope. I've been a loner for a long time. An abnormal individual as is. Generally speaking I know that I'm honest and genuine with people. If they reject me it's not because I'm not good enough. It's because they don't understand me or because they're frightened by me.

    I know from Dr. Jerome Wagner's approach to the Enneagram that as a type 9 if you are integrating then you can experience certain average to unhealthy qualities of type 3. How this works is basically that as a type 9 your subconscious (ego) will work to acquire the healthy qualities of type 6 but to do so it will take the "long road" first to type 3. In this state of integration if you become complacent or enter in to a "relaxed" state as Wagner calls it, then you can move to the "down side" of type 3. He calls it "shifting to the downside of the preceding style: Paradigm shifts you may experience under relaxed conditions" Type 3's avoid failure and have fears of worthlessness so perhaps instead of calling it "rejection" it may be more accurate to reframe that experience as a shame of failure. As a type 9, unity is what you are working for but not having unity would be a failure so that might make you feel powerless or worthless temporarily.

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