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  1. #31
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    They simultaneously trust and distrust others: to accept the support and affection of others is a deep desire for these types, but to do so feels like losing control of themselves and of their circumstances. They fear being betrayed and need feedback from people in order to “know where others stand” toward them.
    Yes! This resonates. Needing feedback, certainly.

    I feel like I need reassurance about the health of my relationships, but what's even better is a relationship where I feel so secure as to not really need "reassurance". If you know what I mean. Which is partly why, as dull as it may sound, I love reliable and steadfast people.
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  2. #32
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    Essentially coming to terms with the fact that my thought patterns create my reality.

    It's as simple and as difficult as that.

  3. #33
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    An excerpt from 6's harmonic group description: They simultaneously trust and distrust others: to accept the support and affection of others is a deep desire for these types, but to do so feels like losing control of themselves and of their circumstances. They fear being betrayed and need feedback from people in order to “know where others stand” toward them.

    6s how do you go about seeking feedback or trying to figure out where you stand? I didn't even know my ex needed these things until we were separated and preparing for divorce and he brought up that he never knew where he stood with me. I had no idea...hints don't make a dent.

  4. #34
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Essentially coming to terms with the fact that my thought patterns create my reality.

    It's as simple and as difficult as that.

    Yes I agree

    I'm finding it quite liberating to get rid of plaguing thought patterns...but still difficult.



    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    6s how do you go about seeking feedback or trying to figure out where you stand? I didn't even know my ex needed these things until we were separated and preparing for divorce and he brought up that he never knew where he stood with me. I had no idea...hints don't make a dent.
    Hmm...I always want feedback....constantly. I wanna know where the relationship is going at all times...relationships especially, are evolving things...so I want feedback periodically. I need it all the time. Being an NT i'm probably a little more aggressive about the way I go about telling the person that I want feedback from...But I'm also assuming that the person is picking up these things...If not then the relationship is not healthy at all to me and I will want to leave...I have to assume the worst. That's what I'm constantly doing, assuming or finding the worst case scenario that could happen....and often it's not the case, but without reassurance I don't know that. For me to get feedback my partner would have to take the initiative to say everything's ok...or like hug at the end of the day. I find that to be huge. I had an NF bf one time and he always assured me at the end of the day everything was ok...usually with a hug or words. On the other hand I never got that from my ISFP bf...and our relationship failed...I never felt that we were ok, cause he would not tell me that at the end of the day.... The feedback for me doesnt' need to be words...it just needs to be genuine.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
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  5. #35
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    6s how do you go about seeking feedback or trying to figure out where you stand? I didn't even know my ex needed these things until we were separated and preparing for divorce and he brought up that he never knew where he stood with me. I had no idea...hints don't make a dent.
    Countless ways, everything from ignoring someone for lengthy periods to see if they care enough to initiate, to physically boxing someone in a corner and asking them where we stand.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  6. #36
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    @Inari Love and @Huxley3112 that is very interesting. And sad. I'm sure my ex sent me signals all the time but I do not recognize hints like that. I need the message to be very direct. I know this created problems in communication because he may have thought he was being perfectly clear and I was being perfectly oblivious. My lack of response was taken to mean that I didn't give a damn.

    Feedback can be a bad one, too. I tend not to care about it much unless I'm doing something wrong (I want to know immediately if I am screwing up so I can fix it) and so it doesn't automatically occur to me that this is important to others. I've had to learn to do it for the well-being of my kids but it can be hard to remember.

  7. #37
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    you have to become a part of trustworthy networks, but it comes with a cost
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  8. #38
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    you have to become a part of trustworthy networks, but it comes with a cost
    I'm not connecting the dots....what is the cost?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  9. #39
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    the cost is the alternatives
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  10. #40
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Enroll yourself in a shotgun trickshooting course like those offered at your neighborhood YMCA.

    Transform your home with bullet and bomb-resistant walls and coating where applicable; vests for every child, woman and animal.

    American flags and miller light neon signs. NASCAR. I went to Harvest 225 AD. Backrubs from your sister to release tension.

    thinking of you

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